Friday, March 19, 2010
love you like big baby cheeks...
I love her and her precious chubby cheeks...she looks like my sister...whom I adore...and she is the only person that made me an "auntie"!
I have loved babies since I was a baby...I grew up playing dolls...babysitting in the nursery at church, babysitting lil' tiny babies all day long, during the summer...
I am always the favored hire for make-up artists, when a shoot with kids is involved...I was the hit with all the kids on a Smurf commercial...lucky me, I got to play this game where they hit you with their hands when you don't get "something" right! ha ha ha
I am a born nurturer...I love to care, console, comfort, cheer up, help, love, feed, play, and make people smile and feel loved and cared for. And all I dreamed about was being a mama...I had my other dreams, but all I cared about when I was young, was that the world would end and I wouldn't get to have babies to take care of and love! Ask any of my friends, well, I really only have a handful of friends...but they will tell you, I am the super-researcher, that finds the world's safest carseat...the best babysling, the
Unfortunately, the only babies I'll get to show you, are my niece. My ex-husband, has requested that I not post any pictures of my kids online. So if anyone was wondering about my other blog, that is why I haven't posted anything on there. I enjoyed posting a little slice of my life, to share and encourage other mamas...but I am no longer allowed to do so.
I also wanted thank each and every one of you, that heard about my situation and offered to help...I never would have asked for help...and to know that you all came forward and asked for me to get a paypal account so you could donate to help me....there aren't words in my mind that can express what my heart has felt!
I prayed and just said to God, "I don't know how I'm going to this, please help me Lord!"....and in order to retain my attorney I needed $3,500.00. Nothing short of a miracle, days after people offered to help me....I had exactly $3,500.00 in the paypal account! (I am not kidding you...this was a miracle!)
After the retainer was paid so my attorney could go forward, I received another $3,650.38! Now my attorney fees have gone way beyond that amount, I don't know what my grand total will be, but it will probably be well over $10,000. Each time we just go to a court appreance it seems it's another $2,000, it is very expensive. (To give you an idea, most divorce cases, can cause people to lose their homes, if they have one, to pay the attorney fees!) I am not saying this so anyone will want to donate, but just so you know, that each check, each penny that was sent, I put in a special envelope, which I thanked God for each of the precious hands, that in their hearts, gave with a true giving heart.
Thank God that all the charges that were brought up, were dropped. The charges for Jordan's school truancy, I was advised to plead guilty to, I couldn't excuse the fact that my car had been totalled and I didn't have a car for part of the year to even take him to school when he missed the bus, or that he did actually have a gastritis issue that he had been dealing with since August, or that the last few times when he missed the bus and we were late, that they said they'd have to mark him as truant because he had "missed the bus too many times"...had I known what that would mean, I would've never let them do that, I just thought them marking that would help make Jordan want to get on the bus. And believe me, I've stood there just moments before he walks out the door, and i don't know how he missed the bus.
I have additional court fees (not saying this to ask for help, but just so everyone knows, I have and will continue to have attorney fees far beyond the amazing help that those who've donated have helped me with., for everything with my ex-husband...but all I can do is pray for strength to endure all of this.
I just wanted to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, for your loyal support, your giving hearts, and most all, your encouragement, love, and kindness...your letters filled with love...you really do send me "love treasures" for my heart in each envelope!
I haven't wanted to talk about my personal life lately, as people who don't really know me, or people who claim to know me, are making up things and twisting facts around...so for the sake of my son who has to hear about all this at school, I thought it best not to write about it.
But I did just want to thank you so much for all of you that have poured out love and shared your stories, your encouragement, and your precious hearts with me!
Thank you soooooooooo much! I love you all....and your love has amazed me, and truly been the wings from heaven that have helped keep me going. God has used each of you to touch my heart and I thank you more than I can even put into words!
I read all the comments you leave on here, and you have no idea that power of love that has charged up my heart with your precious words. Sometimes I have just sat and cried reading your stories, or just saoking up the love in all the words you write! I love each of my precious "kandee family", each one of you...I really do....
This blog isn't just someone who randomly posts things that are funny or amusing....I feel a calling in my heart, that I want to inspire each of you, I want to encourage YOUR hearts. Ofcourse I want to give you the silly blogs, too, that I hope are amusing, but most importantly, I want this to be a place where you know your heart is safe, where you know you'll be encouraged, or you'll be washed over in positivity. I want this blog to be like the happiest family, where you know you are loved, your heart will feel better and recharged, and most of all, where you are celebrated and believed in!
more love than I can say, a bigger hug than I can send, and a smile that would light up the night sky, your friend and fellow "kandee family member"....typed with love and so much thankfulness, Kandee
Posted by Kandee Johnson at 12:00 AM