Thursday, April 8, 2010

Fear: how to not be afraid

I love this...
F...false
E....evidence
A...appearing
R.....real

Fear has at some time in our lives, stopped us from doing something....
when you're little, maybe a dog barked real loud or tried to bite you....you are now scared of dogs
maybe your heart got broken...now you're scared to fall in love
maybe one of your parents abused you...you're scared to trust, love, or scared to feel happiness
you tried to speak your mind once, and it didn't go well, now your afraid to tell people what you think
you tried to talk about your dreams, or pursue them and things didn't go well right away, now you're scared to try, or scared to fail
whatever your FEAR is....go through it, do it anyway!!!

If you are scared to love, scared to go after your dreams, scared you'll fail at something....scared of being hurt.....stop living in the worries....
good quote my friend gave me: "I'd rather have smile lines, than worry warts!"
even if you are scared...go forward...do it....
the fear won't go away....but the dreams, the love of your life, the happiness...will...if you let the fear stop you!

So I say...DO IT, DO IT AFRAID, if you have to...but DO NOT let the FEAR stop you!

If you're in a relationship with someone and you feel like you're afraid they will leave you, abandon you, cheat on you, hurt you.......and you feel it's stopping you from being happy! STOP....stop thinking about what you are afraid of....and love them with your whole heart! (ofcourse, unless they have cheated on you...ha ha ha...) Let WISDOM guide your heart, not your FEAR!

If you are afraid of going after your dreams....go after your dreams, shaking in your boots if you have to, but at least you'll be shaking in your boots going after your dreams!

If you are afraid of rejection....start getting rejected!!! ha ha ha...if I had a dollar for everytime I was told no, or someone didn't like what I was wearing, or didn't like the sound of my voice, or that they thought my dreams were dumb and I'd never achieve any of them....MAN!!! I'd be one rich lady!!!! ha ha ha
The sooner you learn that rejection is nothing more than one, silly person's opinion, and your opinion is the one that should matter the most, the better your life will be!

When I was young, if a boyfriend said he didn't like my shoes or shirt, I'd never wear it again! Now, I'd be like, "well it's a good thing you don't have to wear em! I like my boots!" ha ha ha ha....and you know what, even if they don't like em', they respect you for your confidence and your staying true to yourself!

BE SCARED, BE AFRAID....but don't let it stop you!
I got on a roller coaster, SCARED...heart racing, contemplating yelling at the lady, to let me off, but I rode it anyway, and ended up having fun!

I went up to the man that first offered me a job on a movie set, SCARED, but I asked him anyway...and guess what.....I was on my first movie set a couple weeks later!!!!

I've put outfits on, where I thought, "what if someone makes fun of me!?!", and then I walked out the door saying, "I like it! And if I wear it confidently, no one will bother me! And I got dressed for me, not for them anyway!".....

DO IT SCARED! DO IT AFRAID! JUST DO IT!!!!!

huge love and confidence, kandee

DO IT SCARED!

56 comments:

LilSisOfaMarine said...

Exactly! Just do it! If you push through those times when you fear...that's when you grow! :) You rock Kandee!
~Cassidy Z.

EveryDay Makeup (becky) said...

wow, this is really inspiring ms. kandee.

thank you so much for this post.

Jin~ said...

I loved the acronym! I completely agree! Though the first step is scary it's worth it! :]

cordeliaandnigel said...

Wow you're brilliant Kandee!
Thank you ^_^
This is fantastic advice
I keep getting so scared of what MIGHT happen, I never actually DO anything
I found this so inspirational
You're amazing
Thank you so so much ♥

ashley nicole said...

Kandee you are awesome! I sometimes have trouble facing my fears and insecurities and having you write about it, makes it sooooo much easier to remember what's important! There have been too many times that I've let fear get in the way of making things happen. *=( So thank you for being you!!

Sarah said...

Kandee, You and my mom are my biggest inspiration. You have both been through things noone should ever have to and you are both stronger for it. Your positivity and your creativity in your blog posts and your videos make my day brighter. I am a 14 year old girl and because of you I realize how much I really do want to go to Beauty School even if it isn't a "good" career path in others eyes. In the end its me being happy, and you have made me realize that. You truly are a role model to me. Thanks so much :)

The Style Revolution said...

I needed that Kandee...Thank you!

BYAMBADELGER said...

I AM GOING TO DO IT!!!!!!


I AM FINALLY GOING TO TALK TO MY EX AND GET THE MISUNDERSTANDING OUT OF THE WAY!!! I HAVE BEEN SCARED FOR 10 LONG MONTHS but I AM GONNA DO IT!! THANKSSSSS KANDEE AND WISH ME LUCK1

xoLauraox09 said...

Your the cool-ie-est Kandee! <3
Great post!

starsandshoes.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the positive words, you are awesome and inspiring!! Love you.

Natalie said...

beautiful words as usual kandee. keep on doin your thing. you ROCK chick

Kalie said...

kandee i love you :) you help me so much!

Jen said...

THANK YOU SOO SOO MUCH KANDEE!!
You inspire me to be positive and confident every day in all I do. Your advice and words helped me get out and get over an abusive unhealthy relationship. I was scared of a lot of things after that and I still am. But reading your blogs and watching your videos always gets me through it, Im slowly learning how to get over things and let go of the negative. Not everyone will do what one person did. Thank you for showing me that!

Jana said...

"Fear is just another word for ignorance" - Hunter S. Thompson

Giedre said...

I WILL!

Yours Giedre (gianthug)

Auti said...

Thanks, you always inspire me :)

mk235 said...

oh my goodness, THANK YOU FOR THIS.
this was exactly what i needed to read right now, and i asked for something to help me make it through a rough patch, and this was definitely it!

thank you kandee..you always put a smile on my face :) :)

pritty_britty said...

Kandee... How much cooler can you possibly get. wow. :)

Kiri said...

Thanks for this. I really needed it today! I'm 25 and getting married in 4 months. I got married the first time at 18 and he was abusive and i was always sure he cheated on me. Every guy after that has either been abusive or would date me for (in one case, a year) before telling me that i'm sweet, but not good enough. So sometimes I worry that one day my fiance (who, by the way, is the most amazing, caring man i've ever met) will turn out to be like them. I know it's just me though! He truly is wonderful and I love him with all my heart! I feel blessed to have met him. So thank you, Kandee for this blog and for your constant smile and joy!

Katie said...

thank you so much! very inspiring :)

Shaheen Shine said...

God Kandee how could i be so stupid and forget what fear really means??? dang!!! now i can win all of my contest, and be grateful all the time and not be afraid to sleep without my light on. God bless kandee

Karito said...

You're the brightest person in the entire Universe! <3 I love you =D

You're so inspiring to me. I feel like you're my big sister and my therapist!

I've changed a lot, and I thank YOU for that.

Thanks for making the world a happier place!

FaithHopeLove said...

Amen Kandee, love your thoughts here, I am inspired by them. This is what Courage is all about , stepping into that fear and unknown anyway...let me go to my box, you know the one, hold on.........ahh, here is one for you. I just shifted through trying to find the word Courage, i found it quickly (again, thats why i know meant for you) Here you go
"the true meaning of courage is to be afraid and then with your knees knocking and your heart racing, step out anyway - even when that step makes sense to nobody but you. I know thats not easy, but making a bold move is the only way to truly advance toward the grandest vision that the universe has for you" by Oprah
Dont you love it? Yes, I knew you would.
Love, Hugs,
Stephanie

Hello*Pretty said...

What a wonderful inspirational post! Absolutely love it!!

Kristy Marie said...

Your the best person in the world. Ive been having this kinda problem for the past few months!! Your the best Kandee. You are a true inspiration to me! <3

info said...

I love your photos. Who shoots them?

LC said...

I definitely needed this tonight, thanks Kandee.

Camille(SHOBE) said...

very nice post ms kandee,fear is another way of interpreting that you cannot do it,or youre too weak for that matter imho.well that's how i see it when i fear something hehe

kiara said...

gosh...im soy happy my friend told me to watch your videos on youtube..u've helped me in so many ways...you dont even know.
I've had a very very hard couple of years...i was going NUUTS with all the problems i was having and im seeing things in a diferent way now!...and i hope someday my life will be as good as your life is right now!
thank you so much kandee
lots and lots of kisses from the beautiful Venezuela
P.S: please visit venezuela!..you will love it..im sure!

Jen said...

this is so inspirational!! i love you for this

Caitlin said...

you make my heart happy! thanks Kandee!

demink said...

Very true Kandee!

-virtual hugs.

Jean said...

Kandee, I've talked to some who would persecute you for no reason and you know what they all have in common?? The talk about things they know nothing about.

YOU ARE AMAZING. As a human being, mom, motivator. You have helped more people than I can count and I think that your inspirational videos and post are to be commended. Just wanted to let you know that you are cared for and supported and myself and everyone at SweetChicStyle support you and applaud you for not letting haters and people who will condemn you without merit get you down.

Never forget you are amazing and that your kids are lucky to have you in their life. You strive for your dreams and that's exactly what you are teaching your kids, to not be afraid to go for their dreams. Thank you for being a ray of light among the boring and dull that has taken over youtube and the web. Thank you for not being afraid to show your love for God and HIS word either, because so many people are too scared to admit they love God.

God bless you and your children.

Hoopin' Sushi said...

I'm going to copy/paste this and read it every day, I've been scared for while, knowing I'm missing out. :(

You are so right, thank you for this post, you are so inspiring!

Anne-Marie said...

Thank you Kandee for being so inspirational. I live in fear everyday and it's making me physically ill! I'm going to save this and read it everyday because it's so soothing to my soul.

Shelby Renae said...

Thank you so much for this, Kandee! It's EXACTLY what I needed to hear. You always seem to know what to say, which is why I'm in tears right now. Thanks for always encouraging us to chase after our secret hopes and passions. I'm afraid of everything you listed- rejection, speaking up, standing out, going after my dreams. Your words have helped me move forward and keep my focus. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Sending you lots of love from Montana! xoxoxo

selenity_luz said...

GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

Nicole said...

Here's a verse that stuck out to me at church last night:
1 Chronicles 28:20 (New Living Translation)

20 Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly.

Alina said...

I love this post....you are a wonderful person!! ...you're like a way better looking, way cooler, more approachable Dr. Phil... :)

beautifulbrunette714 said...

You're one of the most inspirational people I have ever came across. Thank you so much because you've truly helped me to become a much happier, more confident person. x

Angie said...

WOW I needed this!!! You are such a blessing thank you for not being afarid to fallow your dreams it has not only touch my life but many others!! I hope God continues to bless you and give you lots and lots of love and guideance.

Much Love!!
Angie

PS: I bought the Maca Magic and it seems that I get really tried after I throw it in a shake or a glass of OJ. Is this normal lol?? I'm I missing something?

Blonde Mafia said...

Kandee as I sit here and type this I fight back tears but my hearts smiles and gets a little bit warmer. Thank You SO much for this post and the words you continually tell us.

"If you're in a relationship with someone and you feel like you're afraid they will leave you, abandon you, cheat on you, hurt you.......and you feel it's stopping you from being happy! STOP....stop thinking about what you are afraid of....and love them with your whole heart! (ofcourse, unless they have cheated on you...ha ha ha...) Let WISDOM guide your heart, not your FEAR"!

Those words were meant for me. Its amazing how God uses you. Hopefully I can be a blessing to lots of people one day like you have been to us.

Mitty said...

This is so awesome. I'm planning on moving pretty much blindly to Florida in the next few months to start things anew and it can be terrifying to think about going to a strange place with no job, family, or friends, but it's something I feel like I need to do. I feel like I'm just wasting my life where I am now. You're always an inspiration Kandee!

PoochesForPeace said...

You're amazing!!!!!

Ms. Vendetta Couture said...

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
-Frank Herbert
<3

Agatha said...

Hi Kandee! I'm based in Northern Ireland and since I found your blog a couple of months ago I've been following it on a daily basis. If I'm feeling down I like to watch one of your videos as your positive attitude & smile always manages to cheer me up. This post on fear has been great & really helpful...just helped me make a decision. You are beautiful, smart and very inspirational. Keep up the good work!

Miss Lauren said...

Your truly amazing. I just started watching your videos about a week ago and I've almost watched all of them. Your really inspiring and I like that you keep it real.

OH-OH said...

Kandee, you are true inspiration!

mozzikato said...

It's the way forwards! feel the fear and do it anyway!!!

Diane said...

Thanks for the inspiration!!

Salina said...

This is amazing :)

SARAH...brown said...

i love this!
F...false
E....evidence
A...appearing
R.....real

thanks for sharing :)

sarah
http://sarahbrown88.blogspot.com/

Frances said...

thank you kandee :) this really encourages me... I'm currently going through the process of applying for schools and I'm pretty scared cuz I don't feel like I'm that qualified... but... just do it scared! :D if I get rejected I'll just keep trying. thank you for writing this. love <3

Narmina Y........ said...

I completely agree, wow your such an inspiration.

Gemmalawrence_81 said...

Your words always seem to pinpoint my thoughts and feelings I feel scared of all those things but most of all of being alone and never being loved which i kno deep down is pretty ridiculous.
I feel like in your blog i have found a friend, therapist and role model to guide and support me through my tough times as well as the happier times that i hope are yet to come as they are long overdue!
Its a great comfort to feel understood

Thanks
You rock!!

Alina said...

i don't knoe if you put that thing " here is a prayer" but i don't agree with what is written there. It's hard to get to Jesus because you must repent..in our days everybody is christian because they said a little prayer.the true salvation come's when you really cry for God. i love this video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnV9mXkLI_I

i like your videos and i love that you always say something about God. Prayers have a great power for those who really believe in it.God bless you, Alina from Romania

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