Friday, May 10, 2013

3 Reasons Not To Be So Hard On Yourself

We are all human. We ALL make mistakes. But how you handle the mistakes in your life will MAKE THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE to decide if you will go on to have a victorious life, filled with a success story or if you will always be the victim and just turn your life into one big depressing, sob story, with little or no success.

So here's 3 tips on how to handle the mistakes when they come, and they will. If you think your life is mistake free, then that is the FIRST mistake you've already made! Whether your mistake was a bad relationship, doing something harmful to yourself, just making ANY bad choice, you know what yours are, here's some things that will help:

Whatever your "it" is, quit wasting your precious time wallowing in "oh if only I had done that differently...."  OR "I just wish I could go back and .....", well, you can't. And to live in the past is crazy, because you can't go back and change one thing, and thinking about it all the time is just going to make you CRAZY, frustrated and depressed.
Mistakes happen, they're a part of life, and we're going to make more. If you didn't you'd be some super human that needs to go down in the record books for a life free of mistakes.
Get yourself a ticket out of "Wish I, Coulda-Woulda"-LAND, it's a place where no one is going anywhere. It's like me spending all my time wishing I had green eyes, that's not gonna change their color and even if I tried to pretend they are green with contacts, it's just going to look fake and weird.

I remember when people said that me having Jordan, even though I was already married, but  was really young, was a huge mistake. Jordan has been my greatest blessing, and without him, I wouldn't have been led to a series of other choices, that eventually got me to a place which looked like even more mistaken choices, that actually led me to start writing my blogs and doing youtube. And I wouldn't even be writing this today if it wasn't for all those things that went wrong.
That is what I think is one of the great things about God, he can use what might look like our greatest mistakes, and because God is about GRACE, he can turn what looks like a mess into a beautiful masterpiece that we never dreamed of.

When you go through something, it can give you a heart, sympathy, kindness, and understanding for others who've gone through the same thing, that you didn't have before.

I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, be alone, choose relationships just because your lonely and not because it's the best relationship, I know what it feels like to be cheated on, broken up with, divorced, be a single mom, to feel like others are doing better than you, that your not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, popular enough, all those things and more. But know that you are more precious than diamonds and each mistake or failure can add to your sparkling success story, you can be a sparkly, disco ball, "cracked mirror", like I always say:

"A cracked mirror sparkles more light than a perfect one. Go out their and be the most perfectly-imperfect sparkly disco ball of light in this world"

Mistakes and bad choices are a part of life. Accept that and learn from your mistakes so you become wiser, stronger, and grow a bigger heart that is full of more love and understanding for others. And, as you give yourself more understanding and room to make mistakes and go easy on yourself, you'll find that you will do that for others too! And that is what the world needs, more people who are understanding. It's usually the people pointing fingers at others, that actually hold a life full of big mistakes that they haven't healed from, so instead they point out what others are doing wrong to make themselves feel better.

Be the person that is wiser, and understands more, and offers a heart of forgiveness and understanding. Because your only other alternative is to be bitter, depressed, frustrated and living in the past. And if you're living in the past, well, that's almost like you're crazy, because that's not real or possible unless your name is Marty McFly.

And remember, our lives our like tapestries,

 we may only be able to see the one side that looks like knots and tangles thread, but on the other side, each one of those knots and tangles are a part of a beautiful picture.

I've been through what I thought were huge failures, and sometimes those huge failures are the exact thing that helped me get to an even bigger blessing and opportunity. Remember, the greatest, most successful people in the world know a secret:
That you "fail" your way to success!

Leave your past where it belongs, in the past.
Learn from your lessons and embrace mistakes.
Know that the people who point out the mistakes of others, usually have way BIGGER mistakes they have hidden in their hearts.
And remember sometimes a failure or what looks like a mistake, is actually just the manure in your garden to help your flowers grow that much more beautiful!

And I just made a mistake. I stayed up until 3am editing a video, and realized I left a part out, and now have to film it and add it in. Instead of saying, "oh, I was up til 3am for nothing!", I'm saying "It's gonna be even better now, I know it!"
So stayed tuned, it will be up on Youtube today, but after I re-film it and add it in! hee hee

Huge hugs and know you are perfectly imperfect, and I remember, what looks like a mistakes or failure, might just be the key to the biggest blessing in your future!
Love, your Kandee

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