Sunday, October 25, 2009

tears are just watering your blessings.......


I was eating lunch today...and even as my friend was making a joke that made me laugh...an Elton John song was playing on Pandora...and "safely hidden" beneath my houndstooth fedora...tears slipped down my face, as I listened to "rocket man"...a song that reminds me of my dad...and being little, and him springing me up into the air out of the pool...which was a "stunt"...he called "rocket man"....my heart just hurt. And I wanted to be 7 again...working in the garage with my dad...detailing my bike or something. Instead I was much older...but I still felt like a little girl...wanting to feel safe...

the night before, i checked my phone to see a text from my sister about my dad...i can't mention it now, because I don't want my lil people to find out yet...(he is alive...but I just don't want to mention it yet).......but
this...in combination with some other things going on in my life...made tears fall like rain...but hopefully it washed my heart a little...

"Those who sow (work) in tears..shall reap (take in, receive) in joy!"...this was like the biggest hug to my spirit...

We get these thoughts that try to discourage us...break our spirit...steal our joy....

and we MUST...must....be diligent and courageous in our thinking...not letting these pains and hurts of life...try to stop us...and kidnap our joy...

it never fails...as soon as you start working hard for something..going after your dream...trying to quit a bad habit...repairing an emotional wound....
it seems as if a sign that says "please attack me...make this harder than it is"...comes on...and next thing you know your doubting your ability and your strength...

I cried tonight as I drove home...through the dark desert...and as no one answered their phone to talk with my "lonely" little self...I had no options left but to listen to a cd....I put in a cd of mine....and the voice boomed through the speakers right to my heart....
NEVER GIVE UP!!!! Never let your "down" thoughts keep you down....

for after a season...the hard work you went through when the tears were falling.....God will say..."it's okay...your were just watering your blessing with the most precious drops from your heart....."

if you are hurting.....just know every tear is precious....and it is most definitely watering the beautiful flowers of blessings that are just waiting to spring up!!!

huge, huge love from my heart to you......and please feel the hug I'm sending too....I know I could always use an extra "hug thought"......

151 comments:

mikaela.mcbain@hotmail.com said...

Kandee, you are truly an inspiration.

Ethan said...

i love you kandee you're so inspirational it's ridiculous. you're one of the wiset, funniest, cutest, and nicest people on the planet!

i love you and you'll always have me as a fan.

stay strong and i hope everything works out!

once again love you.

-ethan petty

fgv89 said...

WOW! this touched me. I was crying while reading this. I am so so sorry that your heart was in pain. I wish that word didn't exist. I wish everything was always full of happiness. Here goes a hug for you! :)

katinoula mikroula said...

a huge huge hug for you from Greece!! :)

zgirlkirk said...

Oh I wish I weren't able to understand what you are saying. It's so painful to be without your parents. I get most sad when I think about what my kids are missing by not having them in their lives and thinking about the looks of complete, pure love in my parents faces when they looked at my babies. I'm 39 now and I miss the comfort and security of my dad telling me everything is gonna be okay and feeling his hugs. I miss my mom making me laugh and watching the birds with me. Their memories make my heart ache, yet build me up and make me strong. Just like your tears, there's pain but they bring a brighter future.
Wishing you a very bright future, Kandee. Hugs!

jerseysprincess said...

Kandee, I am sorry you are feeling upset. I know what it is like when you need or want to talk to someone and no one seems to be around. Im not sure about your situation with your daddy. But My Dad passed away back in 2005 when I was 19 and it was very unexpected. There is not a day that doesnt go by that I dont find myself thinking about him. There are even moments when I will hear a song we would listen to or have a dream about him and find myself crying. I long for the days when I was younger and got to help my Dad work on his racecar or him and I just driving around listening to music. Kandee, you truely are an amazing woman and I wish you the best! Stay strong! Big Big Hugs!

-Tabatha

Michelle.S. said...

HUGE HUG for you sweety! your positive messages got me through my dark days only a month ago. So many people love your spirit! me 2! keep your head up babe....

It just wouldnt be a picnic without the ants!

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!

I hope you are doing ok babe :D

Shell Xx

Beba said...

Hi Kandee!
This is the first time i am leaving comment, but i had to. I agree with every word you wrote. So many times i wish i could go back trough time and be little girl again, but the reality is different, so we abide in presence, dealing with life the way we know. I think you are doing grate job here! You know to live, enjoy life and also, you are not ashamed of your tears or feelings. You are big hearted women and i love it. These young people can learn so much from you. Not only about make up and how to take care of their skin, but about attitude in life. My prayers on your way, for you, your kids and the rest of your family.
Love
B

anange said...

So sorry to hear that something's hurting, Kandee. Just wanted to share with you what someone once said to me, during a time I was so sad. A boy in my class (I think we must have been 14 years old or so, and the sweetness of it still warms my heart) told me that it's ok to cry. Because if I do, everything will feel better eventually.

All of my friends were at the time trying to comfort me, saying things like "don't cry, it's ok..". I know they all meant well and tried to help, but it was so reliefing to hear that it's ok to be sad. Some times in life that's what you're meant to be, and if you let the sadness take its time, you will feel better in the end.

Lots of hugs
Tove, swe

relbebe said...

{{hugs}}

Markussen said...

Hi Kandee... I'm sending you a BIG hug all the way from Norway. I don't know exactly what happened to your father, but I understand that it is something very, very sad. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, Kandee..
Take care of yourself, your family and your precious kids..

I love you very much, even though I don't really know you..

Many prayers go out to you and your family!

Big hug,
Cecilie :)

Laurasian said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for you and all your family x

Jennifer said...

Dear Kandee, I wanted to write some more words, but I think you said it already. I would only repeat your own words (I think the same way). So please feel hugged with lot of love. I don't know you, just reading your blog and watching your videos, having a good time with it and thinking you are a funny, serious and gorgeous person, inside and outside. You have your part in my heart. Hope everything is getting better soon, however.
Love, Jen

Prelude said...

Kandee,
Your post reminded me of this verse;
Gal. 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Be encouraged!

lorna said...

hi kandee,
ive never left a comment before but although this might not be relevant to this situation i wanted to say,everything will be ok, my family has hard a really hard time over last last few months as my mother has been fighting cancer but through it all thats what you need to tell yourself,i know it might not be relevant to your situation but even through the worst of times youll find something in yourself that will guide you on.
my thoughts are with you x lorna

Andreea said...

Here's a huuuge hug back from Romania(Europe). It's like in a fairytale...my thoughts and hugs travel over seas and oceans and come to you in wind-speed! Hope everything works out and that you're ok! Hugs !

Laura said...

I wish I could wipe your tears and make it all better for you, because you're like a sun bean coming behind the dark clouds and you deserve to be all happy with no worries! *HUG*

Melissa said...

Oh kandee, everytime i read ur posts i send warm fuzzies from my heart to yours...u are an amazing person and deserve something really great! im sorry u are sad today, i hope everything turns out ok.
Melissa
xx.

Angela said...

kandee, i just love your spirit and kindness. u are such an inspiration for many ppl including myself. as i was reading ur post it reminded me of a book i just finished reading a few days ago. it called...captivating; unveling the secret to a womans soul. i absolutely love it! it has helped me alot in helping me realize who i am as a woman and i beleive u will love it too. i sincerely wish u and ur family the best from the bottom of my heart and give u HUUUGE HUGS! may God bless you and your family!

aroha said...

Hi Kandee, we're a million miles away and we've never met, but your spirit has helped me through some bad days. I wish now I could pick up the phone and let you speak your heart. Instead I'll share with you something which my family gave me. My name....aroha. It is a maori word which means may things...most of all it means unconditional love and that is what I send to you this night. x

claudescreations.... said...

Hello Kandee, as always, your words bring joy to my heart! thank you for sharing with us what is precious to you and for being so honest and not afraid to share your feelings. I learn from you. Your zest for life and your heartwarming honesty is what makes me come back again and again to your blog/videos/website. Thank you for being a positive spirit. continued love and light to your and your family from me and mine.

Jessica said...

that was a lovely entry. <3

cyn said...

Sometimes a hug can be much more powerful than words. Here are a ton of ((HUGS)) Kandee!!!

katurine said...

Oh dear. That was so touching it almost made me cry. Big hugs for you! *hugs*

Eliise said...

I hope you ´l have a greaat day and you´l be happy. I will be your fan forever and one more day :)
Hug from me to you.
Eliise from Estonia.

Alessia said...

Dear Kandee, too often i feel like you have felt like in description: my dad is dead when i was only 4 years old, and it is now more than 20 years that my mom leaves with an other man, and unfortunately me, with them. I do not like him, even if it is 20 years that he stays with us: he will never replace my dad, ever! But i just want let you know that you are not alone, every body loves you in your blog and appreciates so mocu your work and your personality. So please remains the same beautiful, strong and positive person who you have been..even if i know that it is not easy...huge hugs from Alessia, florence.

AnnaN said...

Dear Kandee,
I send you my big sincere hug from Russia.
I don't understand, how there can be so much power in such a miniature lady like you!
Don't give up...
Huging, Anna.

Kathy said...

Hugs through cyberspace...

Katie Cotton said...

*BIG HUGS*

Lia said...

My love, virtual hugs and many kisses are with you......

<3

niea999 said...

we don't want you to cry ! T_T
but also, everyone knows how life is.. sometimes laughs and sometimes tears..
we feel better after, hopefully, I mean.. usually.
I hope your sky is blue now and you can smile again, more than yesterday !

xoxo

bekerz2000 said...

Kandee:

I so wish I could just give you a hug. Please know that you are an inspiration to a lot of people, on many dark days, and right now someone is thinking of you. You and yours are in my prayers, and I pray that all will be well.

Becky

Samelevennn said...

You're such a beautiful person.
Hugs from me to you.

Nete said...

That brought tears to my eyes! You have so many good and inspiering things to say... Thank you so much!!!

Rebecca said...

You are such a beautiful person.... inside and out! Nobody likes it when their friends heart aches..... please know we are all thinking and praying ( in our own ways ) for you. I feel nothing will be the same for you......but I also feel we will all learn something from you with your life experience. Hugs and love...........

katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katie said...

kandee i love you so much you are the most amazing person in the entire world you dont even know how many people you touch with your beautiful words. i wish i could meet you because you are my idol of my entire life! god bless<3 katie

Gatherina said...

Dear Kandee, go to Disneyland in your mind. And it won't hurt so much. I always imagine a strong bubble around me, so nothing can hurt me... Nothing in this cruel World!! xx HUGS Beautiful Babygirl xx And GOD bless You!

brontee said...

Kandee, I send you all the hugs and love in the world! <3 *hug*

HonduranBaker said...

**BIG HUGS** + a pan of brownies and ben and jerrys!!

-L

Eva said...

Firt off... Thank You for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and sharing this with us. I did feel your hug. And your words were some I'll definitely remember. We all go through our fair share of negative and hurtful things but our true strength is in finding a way to still be happy in spite of it all.

A hug back and some happy vibes from me to you. Hope life only keeps getting better. There's a saying where I'm from (Puerto Rico) that says: "Pa'lante! Pa'tras, ni pa' cojer impulso!" Which means "Keep going forward! Backwards... not even to take a run up!" Hope that helps a little lol. If only it'll make you laugh.

AmChik said...

Oh Kandee, know that you are surrounded with so much love... because you put so much love out there. I sent you a couple emails with 3 poems I wrote. One is about believing in your dreams, one is about pushing through, one is about change. You have helped me to see that I can share my gifts to, no matter how scared or shy I am, because you never know how it can touch someone's heart. Thank you, most truly. Love is the most powerful force...
"we all have gifts, it's just that not all of them have been put in gift boxes yet"... see Kandee, I just made that up just now! See how much you help?
Take care sweet, sweet heart.

Chiaroscuro said...

Whatever is happening to your father, I hope everything turns out for the best.

Here's a mammoth-sized hug for you.

PriscillaFGarcia said...

Oh Kandee Im so sorry that u are feelin like this. Jus readin on wat u wrote makes me very emotional as well. Sendin HUGE HUGS n KISSES ur way!! I always look at ur videos n in all ur videos I feel as I already know u n I know u dont know me but I jus want u to know that u have a long distance friend here. I know how it feels when I hear certain songs that remind me of my older brother, whom passed 7 yrs ago when I was jus 17 im 24 now n its super hard dealin wit it, it jus makes me start cryin n I cant stop. I dont know wats wrong wit ur dad but watever it is I really do hope everythin gets better. B very strong Kandee ur a strong amazin talented funny beautiful young woman!!! Take care n may god b wit u n ur family :) Luv Ya

XOXO

Pris

LizzyLizard said...

hughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughug.

And remember...when life decides to hang that big sign above your head saying "make this harder", you'll always be stronger. Don't stop fighting!

SHDN the rain drop said...

hi kandee i love alot and i really hope ur dad is fine .... i'll pray for him and for you too
big hugs from the other side of the planet :)
xoxo
sawary

Nariele said...

Sweets, hold on, you seem too strong to fall apart and we know you'll be fine, along with your family.. Till then you have us, we don't worth much one by one but you have zillion of your net-friends :)
Big kiss from Nari :*:*

anninargh said...

☆Dearest Kandee☆

Aches my heart to hear that You and your Family are facing sad things :( ...what ever it is... I wish it'll all turn to best. I'm sending You All Strength, HUGS, Love, Prayers... Angels are with You!

Kandee, I feel like You'd be my Big Sister, hih hiiii <3 !!! ..though I'm probably couple of years older than You, haha !!!!... I don't really know You, but YOUR Incredible Warmth, Fun, Sharing, Inspiration, Sensitivity, Wisdom, Creativity, Knowledge etc.etc.etc. You have brought to my life through this bit-space, I feel sis-ness in some Universal Heart-level or what to call it ^_________^ <3 <3 <3
I'm sure manyMANY people feel the same sis-ness :) !!! It's WONDERFULLLLLLL, ah :D

Warm and Sweet Girls and Boys around the Globe LOVE YOU ^_______^
They're Thinking of You Dear Kandee with HugeHUGE Love - - - all of us don't write to your walls... this is my second post to You...
So there's thousands and thousands of Beautiful Whispers for You in the Air ...ALL the Time !!! ^_________^ !!!
<3 <3 <3 !!!

You do SO MUCH for us...I wish You tend to take Good Care of Yourself too :)

You and the ones who may read my post know this, but I wanna say it anywayz... I need to be reminded, so I'm talking to myself too, haha!
..Nothing and no one can ever take the most Dearest and Sweetest Memories away from us. They live in our Hearts.. ...(even there would be only one positive memory...) They're our never ending fuel and a nest/"homebase", where we can always dive into when we feel unsafe, weak... We can give them a chance to be our stregtheners and healers... They help us face the reality with all it's tones - we aren't really alone because we have those (with our other jewels) in our Treasure Boxes =)

What comes to sad and unfair memories - even to the memories of things that wouldn't had never need to happen or be - - - Thought the path may be harsh :/ some day the negative memories tend to transform to our "benefit" too - what ever our experiences have been, they can help us become more understanding, emphatic, tolerant, sharing, loving.....etc.. I think that's the way us humans should live :) ...Although we wouldn't had been that bad at the beginning, the Memories are one of our guides in our path becoming better persons ^^ ..to ourselves too :)
...Please remember - I didn't mean that people should experience bad things in their lives - I just think we can slowly find some education in them. The weight of the world can feel too heavy... One can feel so little in front of the hardships and all the awful things this world has :( Some things we cannot have an effect on (some sicknesses etc.) although we wanted :( but we can be caring, nice and righteous to Each Other, Nature and Ourselves.. and spread the Good that way =) right?
JUST LIKE OUR DEAR KANDEE DOES <3 <3 <3 !!!



CARE *wish* BEAR HUGS, LOVE and COMFORTING CANDLE LIGHT TO KANDEE and ALL !!!
says Annina // Turku, Finland.

Sorensens said...

Just a ditto to every comment here.. you are such an amazing person. I'm so sorry you're having to go through so many hard things, but as it's said.. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle! You will only come out a stronger even MORE amazing person after all is said and done :)
Much love, and lots of hugs!!

Kelly said...

Kandee, you are amazing! So strong and so wise and so inspirational. Thank you so much for your words! ( and your videos too). I love the videos but feel equally inspired by what you say. You are such a blessing to me in my life right now... How crazy does that sound??? total strangers, but it is true. I think God made me find you on Youtube! Thank you! and many many blessings to you!!!!!

Margaret said...

Kandee,

Thank you for sharing your amazing & inspiring words they always seem to find me when I need them most. Thank you for always being so positive & sending that love & energy out there and reminding us to do the same. You help to lift my spirits so much, thank you a million times over. I hope everything works out well for you.

Alessandra said...

Kandee, we all are sending our prayers, our strength and all the love in our hearts to you and your family.. you have people all around the world that love you and I am sure they are all with you in their thoughts.. I believe that all this positive energy can make a change.. never give up believing in the good.

Capital Security Asset Management said...

The reality of what you posted is that you let your blessed spirit guide you through it. I have been there too.
Sharing these intimate details with others is allowing you the jewels in your crown in heaven... saving lives.

Becca said...

Kandee-- I wish we could inspire happiness in you the same way you do in everyone else!! I hope you feel tons better very soon, and my prayers are with you & your family!! Have a wonderful day!

lilydasupergirl said...

I'm sorry to hear that your heart is full of hurt right now. I really hope that whatever is going on with your father that it will turn out okay.

Like you, many of us with we could revert back to the good old days when things were simpler and happier. All we can do now is think back to those times and hold them a little tighter.

We love you!

Allison said...

I read this and everything you wrote rang true to me.

It almost made me cry.

Chin up, Kandee! We're all here for you!!

raychewl1987 said...

BIG HUGS being sent your way!

nmjones182 said...

Here is a BIG HUG for you!!! I hope your heart stops aching and just know that God won't put you in any situation that you can't handle. Whatever you are going through He knows you can get through it and will give you the strength to do so. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug!! :)

hugs and prayers, nicole

Pudistaja said...

I hope you will be fine and smileing, shining!!!! Beeg beeeeg hugs form Estonia. I have been reading your blog from september. Every day I'll go to your blog and see if you have wrote something:D You are allways on my mind even if I havent seen you for real and havent spoken with you but I REALLYY like you and your smile:)

You are cool!!

greeneyed26 said...

Kandee,

We might not understand what's going on in our life at times but you always seem to have a positive outlook. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now but look at everybody that cares about you! I hope you have someone close that you can talk to.

greeneyed26 said...

Kandee,

We might not understand what's going on in our life at times but you always seem to have a positive outlook. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now but look at everybody that cares about you! I hope you have someone close that you can talk to.

greeneyed26 said...

Kandee,

We might not understand what's going on in our life at times but you always seem to have a positive outlook. I'm sorry that you are hurting right now but look at everybody that cares about you! I hope you have someone close that you can talk to.

MUAinTheMaking said...

Kandee. You ARE a blessing. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us in your most recent blog post. Talking about your inner child and a longing to return to those happier memories of youth are so touching, and I think we can ALL relate. What a beautiful sentiment to share.

I am so sorry that you were not able to contact anyone to have a good conversation while you are hurting. Please know that you can call me, day or night, and I totally won't think it is weird or odd or anything. My phone # is on my Facebook profile page.

I think that maybe it was meant to be that no one answered, as it gave you a chance to sit with you feelings, as uncomfortable as they were...and you processed through them, had insights, and you got through on your OWN strengths and your FAITH. That is something to be proud of, because it shows so much personal growth, power, and strength.

Unfortunately not every day is as happy as the land of Oz. Sometimes the wicked old witch shows up in many forms (a phone call with bad news, sadness, loneliness), but eventually we find that we have the power within us to click those little glittery red shoes and make our way home to where we are loved, cherished, and accepted.

And YOU are loved, cherished and accepted...by many who know you through this internet connection, and by those who are blessed enough to actually be within your sphere of friends and family that spend time with you or talk with you on a regular basis.

May the little girl inside of you be proud that her Mommy, Kandee is a beautiful, accomplished, lovely woman who is strong, independent, and capable of healing.

Much love,
Debi

Laura Minkler said...

Kandee, you have inspired so many people (including me) that you deserve all of the good spirits, love, and encouragement back! I will pray for you, your dad, and your family and I hope it all is better very soon! You are an amazing person and you brighten my day, and I hope I can do the same to you! Prayers and love!

-Laura M.

b33happytasha said...

i gave special thanks to you in my blog, take a look.

have a bright day
xoxo-tasharay

MiKaren said...

Kandee,

Send your rain my way to Seattle. We're used to it here! :) I understand we all need to cry once and while. It is good for the soul to let it all out. I hope that things will be on a more positive note for you. You are truly inspirational and good things happen to good people (such as yourself).

Many blessings,
Karen

Gordita said...
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Gordita said...
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Jaime said...

Wow, this really tugged at my heart strings a lot. I lost my father when I was 11 years old to a 3 year battle with brain cancer. Last night, my fiance and I watched "Ghost Town", which is supposed to be a funny movie.. I found the both of us crying our eyes out, wishing that I could meet someone who could communicate with my father for me, and that my fiance had the chance to meet such a wonderful man.

Thank you for this post. At times, I find it so hard to find joy in the little blessings God graces me with because my father is not here to see/enjoy them with me. But you've really put it in perspective for me. =) Thank you so much Kandee..

SweetTea said...

From your artistry to your attitude to your heart YOU ARE INSPIRATIONAL!!! Thank you and GOD BLESS!!!!

mamis223 said...

Thank you Kandee! I really needed this, I haven't been having the best month and I feel sad most of the time. I hope everything is better soon so that you can be happy in your heart as you always are. You are an amazing person and a true inspiration to many. We all love you so much and want more than anything for you to be happy!

Gordita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
milene said...

Never Give Up! I've been learning how to do it after lots of tears. We will get it my dear kandee. It will make us stronger.

Johnna Loves Love said...

(((((( BIG HUGS )))))) To you Kandee from me and my mini me!!! Things will be ok, and you know you have all of us, YOUR FANS, to talk to if you ever need to talk. We all love you and love the fact of what an amazing, loving, inspirational, and kind hearted person you are! God loves you, We love you , you are loved and cherished by so many people. Just know this, and make your heart happy!!! ((( BIG HUGS )))
Take care!!!

Sadaf said...

sending you all the good vibes, all the love and the biggest hugs from the lil me
hang in there you are not alone

Beth said...

Hi Kandee,

My dad recently went to a wedding and while dancing to "The Twist", he ended up tearing his muscle around the knee. Well, he had it checked out, and on top of that, the doctors also found an aneurysm in the same area. I was so stressed out because my dad needed a double surgery and he isn't as young as he used to be, along with having diabetes and being overweight. It was the worst time in my life. My dad is my whole world. He has had both surgeries and is a perfectly healthy man now. Anyway, keep your head up and always think of the good times. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers.

Much love, Kandee. You brighten up my day with your videos. You truly have a gift.

Beth =)

russianred said...

Sending you the biggest hug. You are a bright and shining star who brings happiness to so many people.

Jessica said...

Kandee if our love was an umbrella it would be big enough to shield you from any sort of rain clouds brought your way. We love you like you were our closest friend. And the pain we feel is in the fact that this is our only way in trying to heal your heart. Lots of love Kandee. Your spirit is beautiful and makes my heart full.

DAWN said...

Kandee,

I really appreciate your openess. When I look at your life I wish it was mine. I know we all have problems, and it seems like you are not different than the rest of us.
That just makes you all the more real and down to earth to me.
Keep plugging away at your dreams. People will always hate on you no matter what you do. Its just the way things are. What you know is that each step you take forward is another step to where God wants you to be.

Chin up and Makeup. ;-)

Ashley said...

thank you...thank you SO much for your encouraging words. for sharing your thoughts...your personal things that you could hide from the world, but you decide to share with us and encourage us. you always touch my heart. this past week-since wednesday-my dad has been in the hospital. his arteries were clogged. they talked about doing open heart surgert...it scared me. thursday was the day they found out how bad it was. i wrote down that day on my phone, and when i got home i posted it on my blog...my heart was broken. i didn't want to be where i was. i wanted to go back in time and freeze it to when i was little, spending the day with my papa. the sadness was overwhelming...today he is coming out of the hospital, and everything you said was just so encouraging. you have no idea. you're an angel sent by God. I've cried a large about of tears this week...thinking of what if? and i just want to thank you, my heart is uplifted. i remember hugging you at disneyland, and feeling the love you had and joy in your spirit. i hang on to that and remember to be happy, that i have a reason to smile... i send you 1,000 hugs :) you're loved by me and am here for you whenever you need anything!!

much love, Ashley (from Disney)

Mattanda said...

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong, courageous, and firm; be not in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you."

Romans 8:28 "We are assured and know that all things work together and are for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose."

You are amazing beautiful from the inside out!

Hugs and Prayers,
Amanda

Felicia said...

Kandee, You are truly a blessing from God..very Special... These are very inspirational words.

Steffi said...

I send you a biig cuddle, the internet is such a funny thing, one can feel so close to someone but still be so far away. I hope your dad will be fine, whatever is going on. I hope you and your beautiful family will find the strength to deal with things that might be heading your way. And I can so relate to you wanting to be the small girl again that feels save in the midst of the loving family and the one true place thats home, I feel so all the time too, it just hurts. Love ya Kandee, feel hugged.

andichan said...

Kandee, I'm sorry life is hard for you right now. big hugs and prayers are going your way. Have faith, things will get better. :)

Megan Clair said...

Major hugs and prayers for you kandee!!! you have helped so many of us, so i hope that we can help you too!!! you have a lot of people thinking about you right now, and i know that it will all get better babe!! love you kandee, feel better and good luck to your dad :)

Angie said...

*E-hugs back* I love positive inspiring posts like this, thank you. :) you are a cool chick indeed.

~Angie
Cabibbal.org

Candy said...

*tight hugs* for Kandee Girl. Your spirit is beautiful and the Lord has not forgotten you. You will get through this.

Lizzard said...

oh kandee! biggg long hug to you, i understand what you're saying about those aweful thoughts that creep into your head and try to bring you down. cry it out, cry all you want because in truth it really does make us feel better. I hope you feel better! xoxo

ash said...

Hi Kandee
I wanted to tell U that Ur a huge inspiration to me. Thanks to u I've gain the courage to persue my dreams, be proud of who i'm and what I do. Keep moving fordward U ROCK and your joy and smile make me sooo happy. Sometimes life and people push us to the ground, many times u don't want to get back up but U must keep going even if it hurts 'cos when a door closes a window is always open.
Ur soo unique and incredible thanks for always being there when I'm sad, thats why I give U all my love and happiness keep smiling cos ur a Star!!!!
hugss an kisses from Chile
bye :3

dedede said...

hi kandee, i love your work with the kat von de look was great i tryed it on me but my eye brows are blond so it didnt have that dark look so i was wondering if you had any advice so it gives me that full affect thank you keep goin i think your a great make up artist

brandi said...

Is God trying to tell me something? I read this devotion this morning called "Turn to tears" and here is a little something it said that goes with what your saying. "There are unwept tears down in there – the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn. No one understands. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams. Let them come."
Then I come to your post and its about tears. Wow! Thanx for being an inspiration in so many ways.
God Bless.

jessica whitley said...

kandee this post is so amazing, i've been having a hard time lately and you are so inspiring

Rezurrekted Xistenz said...

Wow! I just love your outlook and how you deal with pain, i wish more people thought the way you did! This is my first visit to your blog and already you've won me over :)

(Hug) I wish you all the happiness that this life has to offer!

Carla said...

I like to think that things get harder when we are doing our best to make things happen....because we're asking God for strength to make it through. Because we're asking him for strength, he's giving us opportunities for us to SEE that we actually do have strength and we're strong enough to make it through whatever life gives us.

You're fantastic Kandee - take care of you!

Carla

Tonkin said...

Kandee, if you're sad, just watch your "more questions, on the questions video".. it always makes me laugh so hard.. i even showed it to my girl friends.. we also all watched your "chubby bunny" video.. anyways, you should watch them again.. i guarantee they'll make you laugh :)))

i love you! :)

Tanya

Paty said...

Kande Hey you rock!

you could do a makeup for Halloween (my favorite character is Helena by My Chemical Romance)

I've done this makeup ...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/07paty07/4036318378/in/set-72157622534765059/


Thanks ... Kisses from Brazil o /

Kate said...

You inspire me :)

rachel_claire said...

Kandee i just want to say you are an inspiration to me, i love your attitude to life and it amazes me how strong and positive you are even during sad times. I hope everything turns out okay, I will be thinking of you.

SASHA said...

kandee, this is a heart felt blog, truly. my life is always so fast pace i tend to not remember the importance of why my life is. it is great to see you take on this challenge with such sweet memories and words for others, such as i.

thank you.

- sasha

"Kathryn" said...

This was really encouraging. A just found your videos/blog a couple days ago, and you've already had a substantial impact on my life, and I can tell that will continue. Thanks.

KissyFace Artistry said...

Simply amazing..... I appreciate you for sharing this.

Bruna said...

I think you're so brave for writing this things in here!! I can truly say, from the very bottom of my heart, that reading this makes me feel like i'm not alone.

I'm going through some things in my life right now, regarding a man that was a part of my life a few years ago when I was really depressed and ended up making the wrong choices, some family issues, beeing hurt by some people that I really trusted and cared for and most of all having my grandma (wich I'm really close to) facing the final stage of lung cancer without , according to the doctors, any hope of surviving.

Sometimes I think about my lifes and the things i've done and been through and I just wish I could turn back in time and do it all over again, but then I realize that those things made me the person that I am today!
This racional thinking is very hard to do when I'm hurting and suffering a lot, but reading your "emotional" posts always make me feel better and realize that first: i'm not alone im my suffering, second: i'm gonna get through this. Like you said I'm just watering my blessings!

So thank you very much, and I hope that reading this coment make you feel at least a bit better, knowing that what you write and say in your videos along with your positive and joyful attitude really helps me feel better!!

I wish I could talk to you in person, cause you seem to be a great and really brave woman that survived all the bad things that happened!! I wish I could be your frined, hug you and tell that everything will be okay!! I really wish I could! :)

Bruna

respect.neha said...

reading dat gave me goosebumps. and it really really made me sad the fact that u were so aloe wen u needed sum1 the most...

neha said...

reading dat gave me goosebumps. and it really really made me sad the fact that u were so aloe wen u needed sum1 the most...

Cheech said...

Huggs from MILWAUKEE WISCONSIN!! =)

Bridget said...

Sending you a gigantic 'thought hug' back!! Bad times make the good in life extra bright and special so you can enjoy and appreciate them more. You inspire me and remind me to spread my joy to others; the gift that keeps on giving is love, and girl, you got so much of it comin your way from your fans. Stay strong. Sendin all my love!!!

brent schomer said...

What?... lonely, ...no boyfriend...no one to talk to? From what i have seen and heard, I would be your boyfriend in a heartbeat, as would any man who knew his arse from his elbow. You are beyond talent in all regards. And i would talk to you anytime.

my.world said...

Kandee,
I'm sending you a big hug, and a bill for a new laptop...(lol)(alot)
I just finished watching your "Interview".... Let me give some advice.... Don't be drinking coffee when you watch it....hence the bill! I absolutlly loved it, and want to thank for cheering me up.
Remember this,"Don't be afraid of getting hurt, be afraid of not trying."
Thank-you for being there for your fans, as we are here for you.

Chantilliscious said...

this was really wicked, Kandee. I could feel your emotions through your words. you are truly amazing. Keep doing your thing, girl!

sara said...

Big hugs and lots and lots and lots of love to you Kandee!! Stay positive, things will get better:)

Love,
Sara

Angela said...

you such a wonderful person i recently started watching ur videos and reading ur blogs, you are so talented, you have the most beautiful heart, you make me smile everytime i watch you or read ur blog. i hope all of your days are filled will joy! i read a scripture once that said that God keeps every tear we cry in a bottle and keeps track of all out sorrows - (its psalm 56:8) and that always shows me no tear i cry ever goes unnoticed and that helps me get through. so kandee thank you for being a inspiration and i want you to know that you are blessed and you make me smile :)!! blessings!! love angela*

K@rine said...

I hope all these messages will warm your precious heart Kandee! I loved the part you wrote about struggles in life...because it speaks to me right now. I'm going to some pretty rough things and sometimes I get discouraged and I get negative...but when I see you, this ray of sunshine that keeps hoping and rolls with the punches that life throws at you it gives me hope too...hope that I can change the way I perceive things. You made me realize that I have the power to choose if I see the glass half empty or half full...Thank you Kandee! Keep being happy and keep being an inspiration because by helping people you are helping yourself down a road named "happiness".

Karine

-XxX-

Erica Rose said...

Kandee, I wish I could be as positive as you are even in rough times. You bring so much joy to others and that is such a beautiful gift! I hope this rough patch passes soon enough. You're in my thoughts and you are loved SO much!
Erica

Michelle said...

You are awesome! I look forward to reading your posts and I share most of them with my husband. Much love and hugs back at you Kandee!!

Candy said...

Hey Kandee Girl I'm sorry that you're sad. I know you're be okay. You have a strong spirit and God has not forgotten you. Lots of love.

Cirien Phoenix said...

Know your fans love you and find inspiration from you. Not just because you're quirky and funny, but because you're a fighter, too. If people you've never met in real life can find space in their hearts for you, then those you know in real life have to love you endlessly. Know that there are people in the world thinking about you and praying for you every time your heart hurts.

Crystal.S said...

Sending you HUGE *hugs*, Kandee!

demink said...

Virtual hugs.

That's the only bad thing about the internet. You can't actually give somebody a shoulder to cry on when they need to. Or a real hug when they could have used one. I hope the best for you.

Virtual hugs. Take as many as you need.

Jae said...

Sending you GINORMOUS *hugs*!! Keeping you and your fam in my prayers! <3

Niki said...

Reading your post makes me cry and reading other peoples comments. I lost my father last year just before Christmas, I was 23. It was the most saddening experience in my life. I felt like I was literally lost. I remember getting off the train after work one day and just sat down on a curb, not wanting to go home. I didnt know where to go, I just sat there crying. My father and I had a super close relationship especially after my parents divorce. He was always there for me. I know there are a bajillion comments and no one will probably read this but it feels good to type it out.

LibbyLayla1984 said...

I know what you’re going through. Sending big hugs, prays, positive vibes and thoughts coming to you from over the other side of the world Libby xx

Darlingjessx said...

your in my prayers. <3

lasirenaazul said...

I am sorry you felt alone but know we are here wishing good things for you and the "little ones". You are smart to acknowledge the hurt and not just repress those bad feelings. And smarter still to let them go for a little while to make room for more happiness.

jesuiseval said...

It's speaks worlds about your moral fiber and great character that you're able to share this emotion with people who (some of us, anyway) are basically strangers. It's always comforting to know the person who's blog I constantly come back to and rave about is real like that. I hope everything is good with you, big hugs from myself and my daughter Maya (9). Sometimes it really takes a rainy day to feel like the sky is clear again... and I'm sure it will be! :)

Mel said...

Hello Kandee:
I don't know exactly what you are going through but just know that God is in control and nothing takes Him by surprise; whatever is going on with your Dad God already knew and knows the outcome of the situation; just trust in Him and put all your faith in Him. It'll soon pass and know that from this you'll learn and grow stronger. Praying for you and your family!

RachelChoate said...

Listen to ........."Stop This Train" by John Mayer.....careful though it might make you cry again. It gets me everytime.

Marisol said...

I love reading your blogs! I have been having such a tough time these past few days and i just logged on and i am going too look at my tears that way...looks like there's gonna be a breakup...i'm not gonna lie, it seems like its the end of the world right now, but your blog always makes me feel so much better...especially this posting. I feel like i know you without knowing you! Thanks for brightening my day. I will keep you in my prayers.

galadrijella said...

Kandee, my heart goes out to you, pls be strong and i am sending u millions of smiles to brigten up ur day just as u brigten up mine when i am feeling down! Much love!!!! xoxo

Amanda said...

Awww Kandee, you really do as people keep saying, lift people up when they're down or doubting themselves - I for one am one of them!

I truly hope your father will be okay but my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time!

Huge hugs and support,

Amanda xxx

Katy said...

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

hang in there girlie
:)

Whit♥ said...

I'm so sorry that your heart hurts....

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family..

Debra said...

I just started following your blog and I must say that you are truly an inspiration. Even my two year old daughter likes watching "the make-up girl". :) Whatever it is that is causing you pain, I hope that you find solace. You are in my thoughts!

MikiLynn said...

Hi Kandee... just wanted to send a hug your way and tell you I'm so sorry for what you're going through... just this past May I had to watch my dad pass away for 18 hours after a massive stroke and it was beyond anything you could imagine. He had just won his battle with cancer too and everything seemed to be going so well... life doesn't doesn't seem fair sometimes but just remember there's a plan for everything and a path we must follow. Take care of yourself ok? Love-Miki Lynn

Jeanine Faith said...

You're an encouragement, the verse you said about "those who sow in tears will reap in joy..." I'm reading a book (true story: The Cross and the Switchblade)...the writer quoted the same verse. And its a verse thats reigning true in my life right now.

You should check out the book, when you have time, he's the founder of Teen Challenge.

Thank you again.

Katee said...

You have a million virtual hugs everyday! You're never alone, honey. We all feel like your friends, even though we've never even met you. You've touched the lives of millions; if only we could do the same for you. You're surrounded by love everyday! "Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." -Henry David Thoreau. Reach for your dreams, but don't discount the blessing that is everyday. We love you Kandee. You're never alone.

tntownsend96 said...

Oh,Kandee, just remember no matter how much it hurts, so many people you don't even know love you and look forward to seeing your beautiful face and hearing those kind words. You are such a blessing to this world, don't you forget that! *hugs* *hugs* and more *hugs*!

edowell said...

Big hug to you and a smile! I love the photo shoot pictures! From another adoring fan!

Nicki said...

Oh Kandee you always know how to make me rain blessings all over my keyboard!

Annie said...

This helps alot Kandee, I recently found out that my grandmother has lugerics desease which is a desease that slowly eats at your muscles and you die from it. This honestly helps so much. I often find my self thinking of her and crying over how we never spent much time together (she lives in Belgium, I live in California) and now your awesome Kandee-ness is truly helping. Thanks soo much this mean the world to me, and many other people.

Julie Vang said...

Awww.........you're such a sweet gal! I'm been feeling down lately as well, but I keep it all to God. He holds my hands thru everything and I know he's holding yours' now. Let's be strong and keep our chins high!! You're such an inspiration to everyone and you bring so much joy into my life! *BIG HUGS FOR YOU* Like my father in law said to me earlier today: when you rise a little, people wants to push you down even more.

- Julie

missbeeotch124 said...

Tears rolled down my face as i read this.
When I hear certain songs it reminds me of so many different things.
You are truely not alone in this world.
You are an amzing person.
NEVER give up:]

Veronica said...

I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I have an idea. On Thanksgiving in 2003 I received a phone call from my uncle, of which I did not see for the holiday, to let me know that my dad just had a stroke. I remember every last detail of my surroundings while I was on the phone with him. Like I came out of my body and looked at my room from above. I didn't think that it was real. He only called me, he didn't call my brothers or my mom (my parents were divorced). So when I went down stairs to tell her it was like I could see the happy drain from her face on to the floor in a puddle. So when we went to the hospital to see how he was, I was nowhere near prepared to see him. Who I saw was not my dad, and he did not know me. His stroke effected the part of his brain that controlled his motor skills (read, write, speak) and most of his memory. My youngest brother only came with me once to see him, it was too hard. My eldest might have come twice, but was always mad; like he resented my dad for getting sick because he was the oldest he was going to have to take care of him. Needless to say, I was the only one to visit every day, two weeks, until he signed himself out; alone. Then when I discover that he was no longer in the hospital I told my mother and to her investigation he was living in his old apartment without electricity and food. He was getting evicted and his mother, my grandmother, moved out and never was heard from again. So there he was alone, couldn't speak, read or write and was getting evicted from his home for not paying rent. My mother pleaded with the apartment to let him stay, but they explained that he has not paid in three months and had to go. Then she found him a assisted living community and put him on food stamps and disability, alone. So my mother and I moved all of his furniture in one day and got him everything that he needed. (Did I mention that my father was an abusive man, which beat me and my mother and locked us in our house for years? and that the only way we got out was to run away to a protective shelter? yeah, we went out of our way, and His Own Mother Didn't help.) So I leave for college and not even a week after new years I get a call telling me that he passed away. See he didn't have anyone there to make sure that he took his meds. The state kept his body in a morgue for 6 months, as property of the state, because he didn't pay taxes or 20+ years. I still love him and I miss him every day. I could never hate him for the things he did to me when I was younger, he did great things too. I forgave him a long time ago, I know that he did the best he could with what he had. So I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I know that when it comes to your dad every daughter, not matter the situation, has the same love.

Lydia said...

Tons of hug thoughts for you, Love. *huge hugs*

It's crazy how just hearing a song... or even smelling a smell... can take you back to a place so vivid like that. I'm sorry it made your heart hurt though.

You've got angel wings wrapped around you, Girl. Anybody who sees your face and eyes can see that. Never doubt it!

Prexiousbl said...

I'm so sorry you are hurting sweetie. A big, huge hug from me to you!!! And what you said is SO true.. "Those who sow in tears, shall reap in joy!!!!" YES! hold onto that!!! I will be praying for you.

You have been a HUGEEEEEE inspiration to both me and my sister. We lost our dad when we were very young. So, we know what it feels like to miss our dad.

Just want to say one thing to you.. everything in your life happens for a reason and it is with the permission of your Heavenly father. And the Bible says, "All things will work together for the GOOD of those who believe in him." So, I pray you will be encouraged and know that none of your tears are wasted.. they are all counted and cherished by God. xoxo.

Jamie said...

I'm sooo sorry that you are feeling sad. I pray that everything works out for you. I am sitting here with my beautiful little one year old daughter, and have been crying over the break up of my marriage. I clicked on your Snow White video, and my little one got so excited! She was pointing to you and wanted to touch the screen. It was so sweet that I couldn't help laughing through the tears. Thank you for that!

Forget Me Not said...

This really touched me. Just last night i broke dwn crying over my dad as well, he isnt dead but he didnt want to be my dad anymore he started a new family. I see him every once in a while but he acts like i am an old accountance and it hurts.
I am a hair stylist as well, and LOVE doing makeup and love getting ideas from your videos. I am anextention specialist but love all aspects of hair and skin care and you have so much life and joy in your videos i love watching them.
Victoria

Nicole said...

Kandee, you seem to be so wise with your thoughts and talented with your gifts. Thank you for sharing them with us. You have a beautiful old soul with a lovely heart, my heart and soul are beginning to feel a bit more at peace again with people. It just seems like people have lost respect and love for one another. So reading inspirationals like these brings back hope! Thank you XOXOX

Angela said...

Hey I have been thinking about the best posisbly way to contact you and the fastest this might be it I hope it is I am starting a web site its aganst anorexia and what the media percives beauty to be it would be amazing if you could check out my web site http://www.ourbeautystruggles.com/ and maybe even mention it in ur next video thank you so much
Angela

honeyqq said...

I feel that you are a very strong woman and I believe you can overcome all those pains.Just keep trusting God.
You're also an inspiration and blessing to us Kandee.Always be happy :)and Keep on smiling! love, Kandeefanatic :)

Carla said...

Wow! You have such an optimistic outlook on life! I wish there were more people in this world who are as inspiring and uplifting as you. You're setting a great example for everyone to follow.

Angel said...

Your words are always appropriate..just when I need them...You always give me strength and make me feel good...even though I feel like crying or something because I cant believe how wonderful, joyful, and kind you are (among other things)

I will always love you.
I love you so much Kandee <3
Angel Ramirez

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