Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm gonna fall!

where is this place: this is where I run
why: because it's just a dirt trail...with nothing around but the sound of your feet hitting the dirt, your breathing, and usually some small people asking for more juice or snacks....ha ha ha

One day I had already run my 5.5 miles...but there is this one trail that goes up the mountain, pretty steeply...but the view from up there is breath-stealing....
I was already tired and felt worn out...but I just wanted to push myself...I knew that even though it would hurt my already tire muscles...but as I could feel each muscle pulling me up the steep, soft, sandy trail...digging my toes in and leaning forward to keep balance...
a though popped into my head...
Even though it hurts...and feels hard and you want to give up and go back down.....
I knew every muscles that tearing apart...would grow from that...stronger than before!
That each even in my life, that has torn my heart, and felt impossible.....
the heart, being the strongest muscle....would grow back stronger than before!

Each thing in your life that feels discouraging, each person that has broken your spirit, each moment when you've felt more alone than you think you can stand....KNOW that in all those moments...when you stood through them....you grew stronger!

Think of each difficult situation..being like doing one more rep of a workout...that you know hurts, but you know when you are done...you are going to have the most chiseled muscle in the world.....
not just sculpted legs..or chiseled arms....but the most important muscle of them all....you constantly beating heart!

In the bible it says, "Guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life"....and that is so true....
If we strengthen our hearts...no one or nothing can take us down....

We are all "get-back-uppers"....none of this we're getting knocked down....no way......if we do fall......we're not focusing on the falling...we're focusing on the "get-back-upping"!

And the best part is...when you have someone that helps pull you up...and that's what all of you have done for me....I love you all so much...and I cherish all your precious words and have stored them away in my heart!
huge love, your kandee

27 comments:

Jane said...

keep shining!

Angel Ramirez said...

I just said in my mind "oh! that is so true!..." about the heart...

Thank you, I think I will never stop thanking you because I'm always learning from you, again, thank you, I say it from deep inside my heart.

With a lot of looove <3!!

your friend, Angel Ramirez

vintagestyle21 said...

Kandee you have no idea how much of an inspiration to me.. I just read Ian's blog post and I am shocked that you have been put through so much. I've been watching you on YouTube and your blogs for awhile and your so genuine and real. I'm only a teenager, but I wish I could drive out to California and meet you one day. Unfortunatly I live on the east coast. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that you have my support 100% and I'm praying for you every night

Tarynbeth said...

I hope that everything is going okay for you. You are a wonderful person, and any one of your thousands of fans would be the first to testament to how kind and loving you are. I know in my heart that you are a wonderful mother, and I am praying that this issue can resolve itself as easily and quickly as possible. I have an almost 3 year old daughter, and if someone said those things about me, I don't know what I would do, aside from almost explode from anger. I know how much it hurts to be criticized by people who don't know/have never met you, and you have all of my sympathy. I wish that I could be like your personal deflection service and just protect you from all the negativity that people throw your way. I hate to think that you're being hurt by these people. Anyway, I know you probably get hundreds of comments and e-mails each week, and I'm sure that they all say the same type of thing. Just know that we all love you and we're all here to hope, pray and cheer you on. I hope that we all can make you smile the way I know you make all of us smile.
Love and best wishes,
Tarynbeth

Miss.A said...

Hi Kandee

I cried last night... because of something that I was almost certain I would achieve.... and then I didn't ... I thought why?? why?? why?? ... and now I realize Its okay, Im getting stronger right? Now I'll be able to face even bigger challenges.. so Thank you so much.. for being here

AND GOOD LUCK

With SMILES AND A HUGE STRONG HEART

MISS.A

$hOrTy said...

Kandee, wow is all i can say. Because even tho so many things are going on with u rite now, you are still keeping on! :) never give up! keep on keeping on! i def. look up to you. you are suuchhhh an amazing person. GOD BLESS U INCREDIBLY!!!!<3333 i mean that! :)) ill keep on praying for u! dont worry!

The Glam Rebel said...

I'm going thru a break up right now, and I've had to read your words everyday to keep me going. It's been so hard because this guy IS so special to me. I'm still hoping we can work it out in the end, but for the time being I don't even know when I'll see him again. But thank you for all of your encouraging words. ESPECIALLY this latest entry, it's something I REALLY needed to read. I hope you can make it through your trials and tribulations also!

earth said...

you are such an incredible person, kandee :)

echo said...

Keep ur head up... It will b alright. Ur title reminds me of a great song by clay walker named "Fall". Have u heard it? I love it.. Check it out if not. Ur a great person, God is with u, as we all r too.

Laura Minkler said...

Kandee! Your amazing heart will come back stronger than before and you will be able to fight what is happening!! We all support you through this, and we're here to help you build your strength!! :)

iccecream said...

you have a beautiful heart that oh so strong

Sunny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sunny said...

You are such an amazing person kandee! I don't know anything about your life or why you may feel sad at times but I do know that God loves you, because somehow whenever you feel a little sad you mention him one way or another.

Sometimes we get closer to God with a broken heart and that feeling of closeness is worth more than the pain. There is a sunrise after each sunset, a clear sky after each rain, and happiness after each sorrow. There is always hope, because God is always there.

BTW I'm not very familiar with the bible but that was a nice quote.

Lainy said...

Just thought I'd pop in and tell you that you have really inspired me!I dont normally bother but your posts have really helped me so I wanted to say thanks :)x

Brionna said...

Even tho i dont know you or u dont know me, i feel like if i were to see you, i could talk to you for hours. Ur soul is soo amazing. I found you on youtube looking for makeup tuts, and not only did i find awesome makeup tips from you, i found this amazing. inspirational person. im sorry that you have to go thru such horrible things, but look how many people you've touched. I send my love. -TIffy

Darlene said...

Hi Kandee,

I just read about your troubles and my jaw dropped. I cannot belive how bad things happen to good people. Keep your head up, your spirits bright and everything will turn out O.K. You and your family are in my prayers.

Elena said...

Kandee, I've been watching you videos at YouTube then i follow ur blog! You're the sweetest person that I have never seen. Just hang in there and pray hard. God will make a way when it seems to be no way! You're in His hands. Cheer up and have faith! Will be praying for you and your family! Love from Hong Kong, Elena ^•^

Paddy said...

Hey Kandee. Still thinking about you even though my husband has his friends around on a Friday night playing COD and making noise!!!! Boys and their toys! We are currently in the UK and it's 9.00pm over here and COLD!!!! I just wanted to say remember when you posted about a song "Your Love Never Fails". I watched it on YT and had to download immediately on iTunes. That song is so unbelievably heart-warming and comforting. Please stay strong Kandee, we will help you all we can but please don't worry as I'm sure all will be well. Lots of cyber hugs and love for you.

Paddy said...

HAHA! Kandee, forgot to say - whilst over in the UK we keep hearing an old track called "Tubthumping" - http://bit.ly/7lDGFj
It's quite an old track - 1998 I think! You may have already heard it. Anyways one verse says

"Don't cry for me Next Door neighbor
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down"

Just a suggestion for you to play this full blast on your car speakers when all this trouble is behind you, and you're just about to move out to a new home!!! Lets start a campaign to get all the Kandee Johnson subscribers to move into your neighborhood!!! HAHA! Only joking - but it would be your nosy neighbor's worst nightmare. Keep smiling Kandee We love you. =D

Vanessa De Jesus said...

Awesome! That was beautiful... thanks for the inspiration...

xoxo,
V

Trina S. said...

love that!

Little said...

i have been a fan of yours for a while now and i just want to say that you are absolutely beautiful...i know we all have our days, but you always find some way to be happy and brighten your day as well as others...including mine. You are so sweet and i love all your bright, bubbly, happy, encouraging words and posts. Thanks for being who you are and i hope that you have a super day!!!...er night :)

asht874 said...

hi kandee! I just wanted to tell you I recently stumbled across your blog and I absolutely love it! You are such an inspiration! I was really wanting to view the video on your story but was unable to watch it. Is it possible to open it up again?

thanks :)
ash

Ilnaz said...

I love you Kandee. Every morning I check your blog .You inspire me every day. Eventhough you have been through some not good situations but you have such a positive enegy and strength that now you are my idol. Thank you Thank you, Thank you .

Melissa said...

hii kandee!! you're the best!

i have a silly question...would you be willing to sell me your grey chain bag?? i'll pay anything for it...sorry if i sound crazzyy...but i just want a bag like that and i have yet to find one!!!!!!

MayyFlowerr said...

Just WANTED you to know How Beautiful, Sweet, Caring(&&many more wonderful things) you really are and NOT to listen to everyone else that talks crap. To know that you have SO MANY people that have love for you and really belive you're wonderful. WE love your make up videos, your random ones, and of coarse the funny ones, but we're also there for the sad times you have. ♥

Much LOVE!!
XOXOX♥
VicckyBabeszz

kostar183 said...

I just stumbled across your blog, and I wanted to let you know that this particular entry really astounded me with its wisdom and accuracy, so thank you for that. It's something I need to try to remember every day, especially now that I am going through some hard times. I know that you are a makeup artist, but you sound like a pretty nifty life therapist or whatever as well!

All the best

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