Saturday, January 16, 2010

Running fast & crying hard...

yesterday I ran fast...and cried hard
It felt good...and I ran for a long time, I ran 5 1/2 miles and then I ran another mile or so up a mountain...and sat and cried...

And all I can say, is that all of you precious people that offered to send me some "love blessings" have no idea what a blessing and what precious people you are to my heart...I never asked for help...but you all extended your caring hands and loving hearts to help me....I want to say thank you from the deepest part of my heart...I feel like we are all in this together...and I don't feel so alone! My heart is sending you the biggest hugs....i heart you all!

Somehow I stumbled upon a live broadcast channel, where everyone could see me on the video wasn't the best, so everyone told me to go to BLOGtv...which did...and I think we had over 300 viewers watching and chatting with me live and asking questions....and everyone got to meet was so fun, and it was so hard to want to stop....I would've stayed ont here for hours if I didn't need to take a shower so badly!

Thank you everyone that was on there and shared their love and awesome words...It was one of the most fun things I've done in a long time! I can't wait to do it again. Stay posted to my twitter: , i can do a post about when I'll be going on. And on my facebook to probably...
IF YOU GO TO, then my username is: kandeejohnson
and then you'll get to interact with me live, like we're just hanging out! IT was so fun....thank you all for giving me a bright spot in my kinda sad day!
i heart you all...

I'm filming some airbrush make-up videos today, with Dinair....I'm so excited!!!! Tell you about it later! huge love, kandee


Unknown said...

You're such an amazing person Kandee Johnson. I know you're an incredible mommy and that you can get through anything! I pray that God gives you joy and comfort, and that he provides for you in this hard time. You are so loved, don't ever forget it! :)

AMBR said...

Kandee! I was reading through a daily inspirational book & came across a Bible verse that reminded me of your situation..."Even though good people may be bothered seven times, they are never defeated," (Proverbs 24:16). You will not be defeated; you'll sail through this storm & stay on the course. Your family, fans, & friends love & support you. They will listen to you & understand you. They will make you laugh & bring the light back into your eyes, heart, smile, & soul. You're needed, valued, & wanted. Don't let anyone steal your fabulous, gorgeous sunshine. Love you lots! :D

Trina Y. said...

This comment has nothing to do with your blog for the day:) ha but I just found you on you tube. I was looking for tips on wedding makeup! I am getting married in FEB, have an aesthetician license but never really took the time or patience to learn makeup... STAT I needed tips now ! Thanks so much, look forward to following your blog! Love for you to stop by mine sometime!

Giedre said...

We love you all, you told the same to us. You are never alone, Remember, never!
My heart is always with you and everyday, every morning, when I wake up, I think about you and that I have to be happy and join the family of happy people..

Miss Petty Things said...


Anonymous said...

Kandee, I can't email you of facebook so I'll just send the message here and I hope you get it. I was going to donate money to you but then I wondered if you would sell one of your small art pieces to me! When I watched your "my crib" youtube video the art piece that I fell in love with was the last small one you showed. If you are interested in selling that art I would be so excited! It would fit perfectly in my room and it would inspire me everyday because it came from you! I know you were thinking about selling some stuff on ebay but I would love it if I could send a check to you and you could send it to me so I don't have to take the chance of loosing the bid. This would mean so much to me because you inspire me every day!! Please email me back at or facebook me at Kimberlee Earnheart if you are interested in selling it. Just name your price!! <3 HUGE love and support to you and your family through this hard time, Love Kimee <3

Beauty Swagga said...

Glad ur feeling better! Your will continue to be in my prayers!

noodleroo2 said...

Kandee, little sweetheart; I know this is hard, but you're going to be just fine. I work in the court system in Texas so the laws are different, but please let me offer some comfort. Get a lawyer. As soon as you do, you will feel so much better. I'll send you a little donation so that you can hire one. Never, never, never try to represent yourself in court for anything more than a traffic ticket. Its like trying to play a new game against someone who has been playing all their life. Especially when there is so much at stake. Civil and criminal cases are handled so differently; make sure your attorney specializes in the appropriate area. It is unfortunate that you have to go through this process, but apparantly at least for now, it is your path. Many people are accused of things that they didn't do. I know that the false things being said hurt but when you are right and you never quit, you will win in court. By the way, the person that put the note in you jury duty card was a 'court clerk' , like me. I have not doubt that great things are waiting for you at the end of this...keep your head up and remember you are so loved.

monavampire said...

We're glad that we can be here for you cause you mean to us - fans - more than you could ever expected and more than even we could expected. Remember!

coco said...

I loved the blogtv that you did last night. You seem exactly like I thought-the sweetest, caring person with such a strong spirit yet soft heart. I hope you are feeling better and was able to run freely and forget all the negative stuff. Hugs!

Mark.Girl Candy said...

Kandee, I just wanted to say I love you and you are such an inspiration to so many of us. I hope that everything you are going through works out very quickly. God sees that you are hurting and he will be there to comfort and protect you and your family. I also wanted to say I love your headphones where did you get them? You are in my prays...and I just wanted to say you don't deserve this are too sweet!!!

Mark.Girl Candy said...

Kandee, I just wanted to say I love you and you are such an inspiration to so many of us. I hope that everything you are going through works out very quickly. God sees that you are hurting and he will be there to comfort and protect you and your family. I also wanted to say I love your headphones where did you get them? You are in my prays...and I just wanted to say you don't deserve this are too sweet!!!

Marta on NAU Agency said...

Guapa, guapa, más que guapa!!

Lots of Love from Barcelona : *

Monaliza said...

I feel for u so deeply, you are definately in my prayers. I just wanted to say that I found your page in a very depressing stage in my life and your "awesomenes" (is that a word?)lift me up, keep ur head up! You are such an inspiration. You will definately get through this you just have to keep having faith. One of the things my pastor always tell us is that if u hear something negetive just let it roll off your back because if u carry it with u, u won't have any strenght left to carry the good. YOU ARE AWESOME, DONT LET ANYONE TELL U OTHERWISE!

xoxo, S said...

Don't give up. I know it's going to be OK, because I believe in you. I not only haven't made me more positive, thanks tp you I'm not scared of being who I am, I'm not afarid of telling people what I think. You truly are amazing person and the happiest, friendliest and the best person I know. If you feel like you can't do it, just think about us, we believe you can!
Believeing in you, Sille :) Lot's of hugs too!

Unknown said...

That WAS so fun last night! It was SO fun to see Jordan even though he didn't tell us the joke! ^_^

Thanks for hangin out last night!
~Marcia "girl with the white glasses"

mnmbrown said...

I feel awful that you have all this horrible stuff going on. You have given me so many bright spots in my bad days that to think people don't see that in you is ridiculous. God never gives us more than He can handle. Music Suggestions - Ginny Owens This Road and I am - those two songs always help me pull through. Hope you read this and listen.

The Mulford Family said...

I was so up set when I read what was happening to you that I started crying...Any time you raise your a head above the crowed and try and make more of your life...someone is always going to throw a tomato. Kandee you are such an inspiration to me...Thank you for putting yourself out there and going after your dreams. And in the words of ROCKY!!
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!
Rocky Balboa
Sorry hand to share made me think of what your going through...I always cry when i run too..we are a lot a like!! Hope I get to meet you sometime..Love ya girl!! *Britt*

Ashley said...

girl keep your head up dont cry! it will all get better. im going to be donating some money for you! and id love to buy some things from your ebay to help you if i knew how to find you on there girl. you have taught me alot. ive been following you now for a while and i believe your an amazing mother and the video you had on here of your little princess doing her makeup SH0ULD make all theese silly rude people understand and see what kinda of mother you are and the chubby bunny one should show them all how close you and Jman are. hes adorable and i wish u the best of luck threw all this i really do! let me know about your ebay account id really like to help.

gods with you threw
it all. <3 xo ashley.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Last night was so much fun! You are amazing, and to hang out with all of us on a Friday night was so awesome lol.

You have always been so courageous and truly inspiring as a person, artist and role model. But you are definitely one of a kind when you can still brighten our days and makes us laugh, despite dealing with some really awful things in your personal life.

We are all behind you 100% :)
Stay strong, positive and never loose hope!



Your awesome Kandee!

Amanda Gayle said...

Hey Beautiful Lady, I hope all is well today! We all have our bad and worse days, but they do get better always! I do love seeing you in you videos you make my day as well. I wanted to know where you found your headphones? They are Awesome! Well girl I really do hope you are happier today, God Bless You and Yours. Much Love from Amanda in Texas

SidnacGlitz said...

Kandee Girl, stay strong my friend. We love your and support you. The people that care about you would never believe anything that you did anything as terrible as your are being accused off. You know the bible say the ememy is the accuser of the brethern. I hope you know that we do not war against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. Even thought the ememy has accused you your father in heaven is stil the judge. Take your case before him, and he will give you victory in the courtroom hear on earth.

As soon as I can figure out what's doing on with my paypal sign on I really want to donate something. I don't have much to donate, but I hope it helps.


Michelle Neri said...


Sheik-Chan said...

Awww, sometimes I just break down too but it feels good. It's like God opens our heart and takes all our hurt that we let out. It's a beautiful thing....

:) You're such a lovely woman. I'm glad I found you online! Oh and I REALLY want those headphones! Hehe.

Unknown said...

Do not give up! We think about you and we know you can make it! You are the nicest person I know and your good karma will help you get through this! Be happy and remember-we love you and support you!

Unknown said...

I read your blog...not-so-good-times...I’m sorry for what has happened. But hey! Everything will be alright, I know it, deep inside you know it also! Because you are an excellent momma, you are an excellent make-up artist, painter, friend, sister...and the list continues...

When I started to read your blogs and watched your vids (specially the one about your story), I remember I cried like I had never cried before. I was so shocked about how a person could be so happy, so joyful, fun, honest, kind, real, lovely…I thought people like you no longer existed… You changed my life, brought light to it… You taught me to see things in life differently and I’m still learning from you.

Let me tell you Kandee that you are my heroine, I don’t know what I would have done without your encouraging words, smiles, advices...

I know Kandee, that you will get over this and since this will not kill you...IT WILL MAKE YOU STRONGER!!(And ohhh you ARE strong!). You are like a diamond, you are the most beautiful jewel and the strongest of all!

Stay strong Kandee! Keep being yourself! And if you change something, I know it will be for good.

Don’t forget you have my support and the support of your family and friends. And most important…you have all our love.

I love so much <3 <3!! I wish the best for you and your kids!
Angel Ramirez

AmélieC. said...

Dear Kandee,
You are such an inspiration to so many... but mostly because your inspiration to others comes from your heart so completely.
Life in many ways has uuuh, what's that word for 'callused' me... but I know that in many ways, that isn't good, even if it "seems" to be a protection.
I pray that through all this, you will keep heart and keep feeling free to be true to you and let your light shine, so other's like me, who's darkness veils me so much with depression, can be oh so nourished by "association" with you. LUVS-Am
ps. here is a poem I wrote about my inner inspiration trying to find it's way home...hope you like :D

SAFE FOREVER -Amélie A. July 2008

Little Bubble, iridescent of melding spectrum clear,
Up high with the clouds, you glistened in the sun’s rays,
Lightning has always missed you, but rain drops pulled you down,
Little Bubble, of near perfection, soft and delicate,
Drifting down in the rain, to a place of middle ground,
Landing abruptly upon a flower, resting briefly,
Before the wind pushed you aside,
Where you got caught in the rushing water,
And down again you went, engulfed in the water fall,
You burst apart, crashing against the jagged rocks,
Breaking into a million pieces, spread so thin,
You nearly ceased to exist.

But in the cycle of life, you were raised up anew,
Soaring with the birds in mid-heaven, to meet the clouds again,
But this time you went further, reaching the atmosphere,
And crossing into a space, where only the memory,
Of the falling rain to the ground, and falling water to the rocks,
Shall squeeze you, now and then,
A bubble you were born, and a bubble you will always be.
But now, far beyond what the eye can see,
You travel towards a beckoning star,
A star that twinkles, with its flashing spectrum clear,
You will be home soon, Little Bubble,
You held your secret, so long,
Within you hold the elements of life, waiting to be planted,
Upon the star’s misty island, beneath the alien moon and sun and stars,
From within you, you shall deliver,
A trillion, tiny bubbles, iridescent of melding spectrum clear.
Safe forever.

Unknown said...

dear Kandee, I don;t want to repeat the same things that a lot of people already said. We all love, you're amazing person and you will find the way out of this situation, everythn is going to be fine. Stay strong inside your heart, show your kids every minute how you love them and stay the same wonderful person you are now. Don't get those people see the weakness, the main thing is not to become like them (angry, sefish, horrible). Take care, stay strong, we love you.
Best wishes from Olga.

Superwoman said...

You can do it!!!


AmélieC. said...

Hi again Kandee!
praying for you!...
Just finished watching your AHHH--really get to know me..... video and WOW! So many things you said really made me think. I'm turning 33 at the end of the month and am in my second marriage and it's been so rocky. We both come from not the best backgrounds and are struggling to put on the Christ-like personality and the "fruitages of the spirit". All our insecurities and trust issues come pouring out and I want to run away. I've actually been engaged a few times and almost got married 2 other times beside the 2 times that I got married! So sweetie, I don't judge YOU! heehee.
So many of the personal points you made hit home. A fear of rejection... I have to remind myself that satan knows this and works to hurt me this way and other ways to, because the more down I feel, the more my inner beauty I don`t allow to shine and spread out to the world. And so when our worst fears like being taken advantage of and being rejected happen, it can really make a deep impact on us very sensitive creative types. But it's so hard for me to remember while it's happening, but usually later I'll see, that exactly what I was most vulnerable in, was what I was being attacked on! So that's why I'm writing this to ya... cuz I see how from your vid, that the very things that you are mentioning as `insecurities or vulnerabilities` are happening to you now! You are being "rejected" by "untrustworthy" people "taking advantage" of you concerning your greatest and most cherished successes, your PRECIOUS FAMILY and your lovely creative giving work! And this is a situation that may be very hard to "think positively" out of! Especially because you don't like "confrontation" and can sometimes be like "a doormatt :'( "...these things you mention in your vid about yourself are exactly what your life's trials are about right now. So don`t worry kandee to voice your opinion and thoughts. You are not less of a nice person for standing up for yourself and your family. These people who are slandering your good name are not going to win in the end! Love conquers over evil! We love you dear sista!

Unknown said...

Sometimes we need to cry, get it out of our system and keep pushing forward. You have many great things I life to look forward to and keep you positive. You will be fine. God is always there right beside you holding your hand and heart. :) I hope you had a great time on your shoot yesterday. I'm not able to open your comment page or anything from my computer so I'm doing this from my iPod lol :) take care Kandee!! *hugs*

Miss Petty Things said...


none said...

Kandee, I know exactly what you are feeling, and what you are going through. I have also had to go through things like this. Girl, it's a scary feeling when people accuse you of being unfit, or unclean. It hurts like hell. I hope you find the inner strength to fight this through. I am praying for you! If you ever need to talk, let me know sweetie!

Unknown said...

hi knadee! sorry about what is happening i will be praying for you. please dont worry about any of this the truth will always set you free no matter what!
God will help you he always does for me!

Unknown said...

hi knadee! sorry about what is happening i will be praying for you. please dont worry about any of this the truth will always set you free no matter what!
God will help you he always does for me!

Sohvero said...

I felt really upset reading about the reasons why you're in court. It feels so strange to me since I don't live in US... Seems that in there one can go to court for the pettiest reasons; just because some people don't have enough happenings in their own lives they get involved in everyone else's business. That's just the way it crackles. However, I strongly believe you will be fine, better than fine. We still believe in justice. Be strong, you're loved.


Rizzy_Lizzy said...


I didn't even have one of these blogs but I signed up just to tell you how wonderful you are and how you and your videos have inspired me and even made me feel better through my own rough times! Your words and your energy made me into a much more positive and happier person than I was before. I hope that we all can do the same for you in your time of need. God is with you and you are in my prayers! You will get through this and when you do you will be that much more stronger. :)

Lole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lole said...

Kandee, I just want to tell you that I wish for your success. I know how important is thing like this...but i also think you are an amazing mother and you'll always be!
Unfortunately i can't donate any money to you but...believe that i think about you and I wish that things could be all right very soon!
Don't give up (i know you won't) =)
I love you and i wish i could be person just like you once.....strong, beautiful and just amazing...=)

LoveNoodle said...

You deserve it Kandee! All the love you're receiving is just a retribution to every happy moment you gave us. Everytime I watch a video of yours I feel happy and encouraged the rest of the day! You know what? January 16 is my birthday and I will ask God to make you get through this with your head up as my birthday present! Keep running Kandee and don't feel alone! We are all running with you!

Unknown said...

Kandee you have been my sunshine on the worst days. Here's hoping we can return your love and brighten your darkness. We are here for you, stay strong. Don't let them grind you down. Anyone can see you are a wonderful mother.

This too shall pass.

xxxxxxxxxx said...

Hey Kandee, I'm so sorry about what happened to you! I'm just a teenager in high school and still unemployed so I can't do much help.

I hope this help though:
<a href="></a>

It's a website that pays for completing surveys. I've already get paid for several times already and the highest amount that I've earned is $117.60. It was on December 2009.

I hope this help. Peace!

Flavia said...

Hi Kandee. I don't have much to say, except that I hope everything works out for you. You deserve it. You are a light in the end of a dark tunnel. I am really hoping that this horrible situacion ends up soon. I wish the best of luck to you.

It Can't Rain All The Time said...

Sending you lots of love, blessings, and prayers and virtual hugs! hehe

xoxo keep up the great work girl!


Anonymous said...

Hi Kandee! You've been a huge inspiration to me. I'm a student in the Philippines and though I would love to help-you-get-an-attorney, I can only pray for you right now. You give me so much joy and love from your youtube vids and blog entries and I hope that this little post would encourage you even a little.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress;My God, in Him I will trust."
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,And under His wings you shall take refuge;His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,And ten thousand at your right hand;But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble;I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,And show him My salvation."

More than the love we have for you, remember that God's love for you is even greater. Be still and know that He is God^-^ And that he loves you so! You'll get through this!

You are loved more than you know... and love for you comes from places you may never have heard of. Sending you my love and prayers from my little island country, the Philippines^-^


Anonymous said...

Hey Kandee!

I´m pretty sure things will work out for ya!! JUs hang on in there ;)

Btw I got say i´m in love with your headphones!!1 Seriously, they´re so fun and colorful i loved them hahaha :)

Hugs filled with love

Unknown said...

Ok i have to say that You are one of the most beautiful peope i have ever seeen!very beautiful even without any makeup;).but i love ur makeups alot too,,do u do make up for people i would really love to have u do my make up cuz its just inceridble

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