Monday, August 24, 2009

Break-Ups and Broken Hearts

my heart has been trampled on smashed...broken and shattered...
some were purposely shattered by the hands of a reckless heart-hurter...
other times my heart was damaged by the un-returned love of, the object of my hearts desire...
no matter how your heart gets bruised and scarred....it hurts...it can take over your thoughts...make you lose your appetite, make you want to eat nothing but chocolate..(ha ha ha ha)

after getting some letters saying how watching videos helped some precious hearts, get through a break-up...I thought it might be good to help share some of my "break-up" survivals with you...
my fragile little heart....gets lost in romance and hopes and dreams of holding hands and living this artistic life with my best friend, and heart-caress-er..., laugh-maker, and over-all person that makes me feel adored and cherished...which is was everyone was created with....a desire to be adored and taken care of.....to be wrapped in the protective arms of your "you-complete-me-person"....
People are not perfect...and no one will be the only source of your happiness...but they can add to your happiness, bring out the best in you and make you feel so loved and adored for all of who you are!
I want someone that will love me and all my little quirks and will think they are wonderful because they are all a part of me!

I want all of you to know that someone is out there to adore you...and someone will be there that won't hurt your heart...they will tenderly care for it like a delicate orchid...or prized treasure!


42 comments:

supa.starrr said...

break ups cant phase me
as long as chocolate's still available! lol

Amanda Leyann said...

This is my first time commenting on your blog.. I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy watching your videos and reading your blog. Thanks for the encouragement about relationships. It is so difficult to trust that God has a perfect plan and person for us that will glorify him each day... but he is so gracious to give us that when we don't deserve many things. Something that I am always reminding myself of is that all things are for God's glory, good, bad, joyful, or sorrowful. Thanks for sharing your life and encouragement!

Crystal.S said...

You're amazing, Kandee! Everything you've said is so true!

SarahDee said...

Kandee, Thank you. You have no idea just how MANY of us out there NEED to hear you say those things....or, maybe you do?.... :) But really, thank you. You are an inspiration on so many levels!

Anna said...

Kandee, hi. It's the first time I write something on your blog. Actually I made a google accout just for that and also to show my jewelrys I make but..anyway. Firs I wanna apollogise for my bad english, I'm from Bulgaria and I only know it from songs and movies so...I'm sorry for that :) hope you understand me anyway. I just wanna tell you that I really Love your videos and specially this one. It's like hearing the voices in my mind, It's so strange and I've never touhgt that there are other people in exactly the same situation as me. It really helps when you hear it from someone else. Thank you for that and I wish you all the love in the world because you deserve it!

Mouf.Peace said...

hey kandee this vlog totally hits close to home. i wanted to email u 'cuz this is too personal to leave as a comment but i couldn't find one so here goes nothing lol! i was just wondering how ur blog got so known, did u do any sort of self promo? reason being, is because i believe everyone is blessed with a God given talent, urs obviously ur makeup artistry. not necessarily the ability to apply makeup because with enough training i believe anyone can do that - but u have the ability to allow women to realize their beauty on the INSIDE all while making them look even more fab on the outside. i, believe my talent is writing. and i have so many post that talk about issues similar to these. i don't have the best advice, and lord knows i've fucked up so many times but i love to share my stories to comfort people and let them know that THEY ARE NOT ALONE. i would love to know how YOU did it! u've inspired so many people and i would love to do the same.

Melissa said...

Kandee you are a beautiful beautiful woman, and its so hard to understand why someone would hurt you. I totally agree with everything you said, I think the thing that has helped me most with breakups is never talking to the person afterwards and avoiding having to see them. Come on girls, have some pride!
Love you all!
I would be so happy if you could check out my blog.
Melissa,
xx.

MUAinTheMaking said...

This is a beautiful video candy. Blessings to those with a broken heart tonight!

edie said...

Heyy Kandee! I love your videos they are always quite helpful to others and its so nice that you share what you know. P.S.I will defiantly tell all my friends to check you out!

kylee k said...

Kandee! I agree 100% about what you said! I have been there, felt those feelings, thought those thoughts and all that other crazy stuff! It really does only get better once you start focusing on the positive. It is soo wonderful when you find that one person! And I am lucky that I have found my best friend to love and be with for the rest of my life. I hope everyone will be as lucky as me!! Hugs to everyone!

Staceyy said...

This, made me cry. I have my ex on facebook and another site and I stalk him, hes with someone else and still I think "if only"! I hate it, its taking what seems FOREVER to move on. I doubt daily, that I'll find someone who loves me. This, I'm going to fave this on facebook and refer to it often to remind myself that there IS someone out there, who is going to love me and want me and to be with me forever. I think that this video is something that EVERY girl who has ever had her heart broken need to see. Thank you again so much for posting this.
Much love
xoxo

ting RN said...

Wow this post couldn't have occured on any other better day ... I just made a post about does anyone know about heartbreak lol! It's hurts and i'm going through it right now:/. Thanks for your inspiring words.... They are always helpful -ting

Enni said...

Hi Kandee,
I absolutely love your blog. I've been inspired countless times to try new makeup looks.
This post could not have come at a better time. As I am moving away my boyfriend and I are breaking up. This video has really given me hope.
Thank you so much.

Nancyy said...

Hi Kandee, I'm sure people tell you all the time how wonderful person you are... so I'm gonna be one of them too! :-) Everytime I feel sad, or dissapointed in someone, the only thing I do in those moments is watching at least one of your videos... it really helps me, and deffinately makes my day... my best friend keeps telling me the same things you said in this video... i really found myself in it, and thank you so much for posting this!! love ya

Mrs. W said...

Kandee,

You are such a beautiful woman inside and out! I love how positive you are and you always seem to have a smile on your face! I adore reading your blog and watching your videos and tutorials. Keep up the great work! : )

Trina said...

I wish you could meet my brother. He's super cute and would treat you like a princess. Not to mention that would make you instantly in my family and that would be awesome. Just sayin'...

Lizzclare said...

ive had breakups- marriage breakdowns are a killer.
I am with another guy - but my heart still feels broken. Hes lovely and Im happy but my heart still hurts when I see my ex when he collects the kids each wk.
Sometimes the perfect one gets away

Donyetta said...

God Kandee thanks so much for this video. I have been feeling so down about the fact that I can't seeem to find anyone that will cherish and appreciate me. Dating is soooooooooo hard, it has been bringing me down. I have to remember that I should'nt have to convince people of how wonderful I am all the time. If they can't see that, then they are blind and don't deserve me. I am a DIAMOND, dammit. LOL!. I love you, you are the BEST. FYI: I can't belileve that some idiot cheater on you, you are amazing.

The Fabulous Side of Me said...

Hi Kandee. I have been checkin out your blog for a while now and LOVE your easy, doable make up tips. You are such a inspiration. Such a beautiful woman inside and out. How refreshing! I pray God blesses your love life and career. Have a great day!

beautifullife said...

HEy Kandee,

thanks for making this wonderful video. i love my bf... but right now we are going through a very rough time...since this year has started nothing has been perfect for him n me. we fight so much. its not that he is cheating or i'm cheating on him. its just that what happened in the beginning of our relation makes him doubt me. he doesnt have faith in me. n its not that i cheated on him. its just that when i met him i was a goofy little girl..who kind of dint know how to handle situations ...but i learnt i changed myself but he does not understand.. this is the first time i introduced any guy to my family ..n they like him... i can proudly say im a very nice gf.. he is anice guy, too. but he does not believe me a bit. he does not let go of past. my life seems to be on a stand still..its not mocing at all.. i know im the one who can only move it... but sometimes i just wanna be a loser n pray to God i die. somehow i just die. :(
i love him so much..
this feel sgood writing to u..
xoxox

Waiying said...

Kandee, thank you for your encouraging words! It's so true that when you break up with someone, you feel like your world is ending but it's not and I have experienced that.. Now that I look back, I can see it so clearly and have realised that that person was NOT for me. It took quite a long time for me to get over him and I was so broken but now I'm so happy that we broke up! I definitely have found a better bf, who really cares for me. Take care love!

susie said...

Hi Kandee

Ive only recently started watching your videos and i am hooked!Your videos have an uncanny way of lighting up the most morbid of days and your enthusiasm,tenacity and kindness shines through like a beacon for us all to hold on to what is good in this life.I have just watched your "breakup advice" video and as always you combine great advice with a dash of humour.You bring a smile to my face and a joy in my heart.After 4 yrs of being alone(after the last boyfriend hit me)i met someone in March.You may think this has a happy ending,but its not to be,he turned out to be the biggest looser of them all with so many lies and secrets im surprised his pea brain could retain all of the information.Its wonderful that you have a bounding enthusiasm for love and relationships,but i think that for some of us,maybe its just not meant to be.Keep up the good work and continue to make us all smile and wish for sunny futures.

Charlie said...

oh kandee thanks so much, my friends boyfriend just broke up with her and she was so depressed so i showed her your video, and the list idea is pretty good. she laughed how could she date him, but still isn't over him just yet.
keep up the good work! i love your blogs and videos. you're one of my faves and soo bubbly.
take care!
follow me ? :)
xxx

ExabusedGirl said...

OMG...when I decided to start my blog it was gonna be about this!!!

It is so amazing to hear you! and you are so right about sooo many things. I was in an abusive relationship, I have been officially out of it for 19 days, 5 hours and lol Idk how many seconds but you know what I mean.

I know for sure that whatever we go through, teaches us about ourselves and lets us HELP OTHERS.

Now I wanna help, I wanna SHARE with others how I got out of it and the signs that let a girl know shes being abused!!!

Please come and read my blog!and if I can help any of your readers in something like this, please, please YOU reader, contact me.

Blessings Kandee,

EX-ABUSED GIRL

ExabusedGirl said...

sorry..lol

EXABUSEDGIRL@BLOGSPOT.COM

lanikai said...

Just one more comment for tonight! You have a lot of wisdom for your age. I agree that when you get to a certain point in your life, and you are with your soul mate, the person that truly adores you and cherishes you, it is like that song "God Bless The Broken Road." I remember the first serious boyfriend I had at 17 told me that I would never get any other guys except him, unless they were nerds. And the whole time I was dating him, he was stalking his ex girlfriend whom he was obsessed with! Plus going into a sandwich shop where he had the hots for a girl I went to high school with (and he was a older guy) It was a a horrible first relationship to be in, cause it set the way I thought men perceived me for years. And the weird thing is we had nothing in common, and on a lot of levels it was just a case of he was interested in me and watned to date me. It's weird how you can let people's abusive comments have a hold over you for decades. I like your list! It made me laugh, I can't believe you being a germaphobe went out with a guy like that! But I agree that years later you look back and realize that person wasn't for me, i would want no part of their lifestyle now etc...I read in a book (I think it was called "What Smart Women Know") that a lot of women fall into the trap of thinking "oh this is the only guy I will ever get, if we break up there will be no one else" But someone else always comes along. It had a short example of how this one women always compromised what she wanted in relationships just to have a relationship, and always thought this is the only guy that I can get, but the moral of the story, is always another guy came along. I think there is plenty of bad relationships available. Now I'm blessed with a wonderful husband (second marriage) and I can't believe the level of security and contentment I have, and how I really love him and feel loved in return. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Kandee, for those who might be suffering in a bad relationship, or going through a bad relationship thinking there is no hope!

chris said...

you are unbelieveable , yesterday i was cry at my mothers lap ,im broken very last nigh i though no futures for im 25,the unbelieveble thing is thta right now i just enter at kandees couse i been follow yoou aaadni though you great since the first time i saw you but im really wounded even for girls so then i try to post commnet and your page never allow me so i said bullshit anyway, sorry my english now sucks i was with chicago boy for a year im from mexico i eastudied english too but now i barely can with my bread so sorry for the mizatakes , so oyeah till i wake up to day an i went to the gym couse is th eonlhy thing that keeps me alive and you but i was doubding of course my mother and his husben, so i came back adn i cry couse i dont wanna go to the psykiatric here is awfull cpuse is for free but is a horrible place to nice to be in so yeahh i was cring my mom told dont wooryy i supposrt at the same time i was typing kanndee in my lap so was 2 happiness at the same time jajaj sorry tears i think you arre special , iwas seeing how youcontrol yourself for been able to make purpose done, get the spiri t alive , so yeah iwas kindha very touching i most say, so yeah i enter your blog and i seee you with aliitle boy and thwhat you write ok!!?? so, aha i keep down and see something about broken hearts and here im love you take care god blessing you for beenin good person!! love you chris!! by the way i just made my blogger for you inspired and for the ilusion to get in touch with you bye

chris said...

i was tellig my mother couse she ask me hows no future for you you are crazy you know and stuff but is the way i feelmother so ihate when she cried i feel patetic, soi told well i wanna go to usa to studi cosmetology and she say well babe thats no gonna happens tears so the inly similar thing is working near to my neib maybe ablock from here do you knmow something about merida yucatan well sukcs ok i alway s feel like an aline here aadn i been liveing here all my life ,, oyeah other thing was competion you know i was aa fitness model i win national one in 2o05 any way thank you i just realise something greatttttttttt love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! chris.

*a shy starlet in love* said...

Kandee! You always brighten my day. I found out I was pregnant earlier this month and so I'm going through my crazy hormones and you just know how to calm me down and make me feel better. Thank you :)

SC said...

Love is an obsession, a craving, and can be an addiction, hence the people who cannot seem to stay in one relationship long because once the "love high" dissipates they abandon them.

Depression is interesting. It's believed to have evolved as a coping mechanism millions of years ago. Some maintain it originally emerged to enable abandoned infant mammals to conserve stamina, discourage them from wandering until their mother returned, and keep them quiet and thus protected from predators, thus enabled animals to conserve energy in times of stress.

For those of you who are depressed, or are madly in love just remember this. It's all biological, not heaven sent. =P If you don't believe me just try to link love to an emotion - it's not. It involved other emotions during ups and downs, but it's not an emotion. Emotions like disgust, happiness, sadness, etc, all have stereotypical facial looks.

So yeah. If you're one of those searching for a profound reason as to why you feel depressed or wanna know what love is hopefully I pointed you in the right direction.

SC said...

Oh, one other thing: Almost, if not all, of the things Kandee expressed in her video has scientific, Darwinian, and empirical reasoning. I study this stuff in school and have a profound need to want to know as much about this stuff as possible.

SC said...

Shit, the longer I watch the video the more I can give reasoning.

Girls... LISTEN, guys are very often cheaters because of testosterone levels, which is responsible for lust and the sex drive, so... Of course they'll stray. Once that "honey moon" phase ends and things turn into feelings of deep attachment that testosterone in males begins to plateau with the loved one, but if they're visually stimulated by another person it'll rise once more and can cause cheating. There's proof of this everywhere in marriages, long term relationships all over the world.

Anyway, that's enough of me. =P

Alexis said...

It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt is worth mentioning! Got me through my breakup!

Hollymc said...

Hi Kandee!
This post made me smile and feel hopeful! I love your makeup videos, but this breakup pep talk just really made my day. I'm off to make a list now of my ex's annoying traits! Then STOP thinking about him from here on out!
mucho besos,
Holly Mc

Quelquefois said...

i think we all instinctively know the things you said, but sometimes we do need to hear it out loud and i'm SO glad you posted this video cuz it helps so much, whetehr it's a fresh breakup, or if you're stuck on someone a year later. thanks for making it easier to let go! you're such a great person!!

Madlen said...

Hi Kandee ! I just listened you for the first time today (you were on the front page of Youtube). So I watched a couple of videos, went surfing on your blog and seriously, you're really a nice and charming person with extremely positive attitude in all situations I think. Keep going !

danielle said...

i love your informational videos theyre great and you have the cutest personality!!! i think you should do a video on how to get jessica simpson-ish style waves like she had at her wedding.. just an idea :)

Elin Morén said...

Oh.. my.. I't sounds so beautifull when you say "someone who's gonna be inlove with YOU, someone that will adore YOU.."

I love that feeling, I got all teary. Well spoken there ;)

bluebaby said...

Yeah I feel like my heart has been completely smashed into little pieces and that they're all lost forever :(

I've tried to blog about it to get what I want to say off my chest...as he won't listen (or care of course). I hope it helps, just like this awesome video has helped me a bit.

http://heartsforeverbroken.blogspot.com/

glitzgrl08 said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE you are so amazing and truly an inspiration to me!! Your videos brighten up my whole day and this one is the best one I recently had a boyfriend cheat on me and I was totally crushed and depressed and this video truly helped me get thru it so thank you so so so so so much!!!

Wakako said...

Well, only 2 months ago, my boyfriend said, "you are the only one I want. I think you are the one". And I just found him in the photos with other girl on FB. I paniced and looking for some crews what to do not loosing my mind on Youtube. So many councelars giving advices what to do when you are going through the break up. It made sense but it didn't help me to feel better until I saw yours. Your video really spoke to my heart. I really needed to hear everything you said. I was also shocked to know that how similar bad qualities that your ex had. I was thinking to marry him so shifting my thought from full of hope to starting all over again is going to take a little time but I am watching your video every morning to start the day telling myself "it had to break to lead me to the right path". I am just hoping that the next one is the one! Thank you for your comment. By the way, you are very talented woman. I dance so I know how difficult to do the stage make up. The way you use the blush is amazing. You showed me on the video but I don't know if I can copy what you do. Also, your son is lovely. You must be a great mom for him. I want to have my own child soon. Be involved in the art world is not easy. It is full of excitments but risky in the relationships because it is so competitive and temptations I think. I want to find someone who can share the understanding and excitment of art and also loving relationship. Some people manage to have both so I am hoping that I will be one of them too. I hope your love life is everying you deserve to be.

Love,

Wakako

Birdie said...

I wish I believed that there is somebody better, but he was perfect for me in all ways but one: he wasn't ready to be an adult at 27 and left. Devastating.

http://blogbirdie.blogspot.com/

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