Sunday, May 23, 2010
when you feel like you can't go on
I have felt overwhelmed in my life.
I have been heartbroken beyond belief, and sometimes it didn't even involve someone that hurt me - it was my own life that was breaking my heart. It was my choices in life that were breaking my heart. I felt like I even broke God's heart, for the creation he made with love, that wasn't making the best choices for herself, me!
I have had a hard week, it was filled with meetings, work things, (with the exception of meeting the girls and filming it- that was my happy spots!)...but in my heart has felt a sea of sadness. It's hard for me to talk to people about my feelings sometimes, but I think that when you guys can see how real, how normal, how, just like you, I am, it helps. And this week was tough, I was dealing with so many things, very stressful things, from money things to heart things, to life things...to so many things!
I want you to know, if you feel like giving up...DON'T - that sad time will pass. You WILL feel happy again. Everyone I know has gone through a sad time, that they felt that the pain was too much, and they didn't want to live. I have friends who I've talked out of suicide, and I have friends that didn't talk to anyone, and they took their life. To know that if they just talked to someone, whatever problem they had, was NOT TOO BIG, nothing is too big! And you will get through it, I promise!
Sometimes people only pray to God when they think they're gonna die ~ and if that's they way you have to do it..that's fine, nothing is too small or too big to pray about.
God isn't waiting to judge people...he's waiting to love you, like a dad with his arms open to hold you and tell you everything is ok. Now THIS IS NOT TO GET ALL RELIGIOUS on you (because I DON'T LIKE RELIGION, but I do LOVE GOD.)
This is the only thing that pulled me out of this...my mom talked to me, and reminded me how nothing I've done is too awful, God gives you a fresh day with no guilt, no shame, he just wants to love you and for you to love him in return.
All the hurt we've had in life, will be swapped out for happiness.
I am happy today....and I am going to go to the Happiest Place on Earth.....Disneyland. I am so excited!
If no one else it telling you it's okay...I am!
It's okay, whatever your heart hurts about...it's okay. Nothing is TOO big for God to handle.
If you feel like it's too much, like you can't go on...don't go on it alone. If no one is there, sometimes God removes everyone there could be to talk to, so the only one left (the most important one) is him.
You will be happy again. You will feel like going on, I promise!
I love you!
And if no one else has told you how amazing you are...I did!
You're amazing, loved, and amazing things to do in this world!
huge love and even bigger hugs (through the computer), your friend kandee
"O LORD, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you. May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave." - psalm 88
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31