Sunday, May 23, 2010

when you feel like you can't go on

most of us have felt just don't want to go on anymore, you don't want to wake up in the morning.  The feelings you feel when you're awake feel like to much, the pain that you feel is too painful. Maybe you've been hurting so much, you feel numb now. Maybe you do things to hurt yourself more than the pain you are already feeling, like cutting yourself, or injuring yourself. Maybe you are even thinking of ending your life, with suicide, or maybe you've felt like it in the past.
I have felt overwhelmed in my life.
I have been heartbroken beyond belief, and sometimes it didn't even involve someone that hurt me - it was my own life that was breaking my heart. It was my choices in life that were breaking my heart. I felt like I even broke God's heart, for the creation he made with love, that wasn't making the best choices for herself, me!
I have had a hard week, it was filled with meetings, work things, (with the exception of meeting the girls and filming it- that was my happy spots!)...but in my heart has felt a sea of sadness. It's hard for me to talk to people about my feelings sometimes, but I think that when you guys can see how real, how normal, how, just like you, I am, it helps. And this week was tough, I was dealing with so many things, very stressful things, from money things to heart things, to life so many things!
I want you to know, if you feel like giving up...DON'T - that sad time will pass. You WILL feel happy again. Everyone I know has gone through a sad time, that they felt that the pain was too much, and they didn't want to live. I have friends who I've talked out of suicide, and I have friends that didn't talk to anyone, and they took their life. To know that if they just talked to someone, whatever problem they had, was NOT TOO BIG, nothing is too big! And you will get through it, I promise!
Sometimes people only pray to God when they think they're gonna die ~ and if that's they way you have to do it..that's fine, nothing is too small or too big to pray about.
God isn't waiting to judge people...he's waiting to love you, like a dad with his arms open to hold you and tell you everything is ok. Now THIS IS NOT TO GET ALL RELIGIOUS on you (because I DON'T LIKE RELIGION, but I do LOVE GOD.)
This is the only thing that pulled me out of mom talked to me, and reminded me how nothing I've done is too awful, God gives you a fresh day with no guilt, no shame, he just wants to love you and for you to love him in return.
All the hurt we've had in life, will be swapped out for happiness.
I am happy today....and I am going to go to the Happiest Place on Earth.....Disneyland. I am so excited!

If no one else it telling you it's okay...I am!
It's okay, whatever your heart hurts's okay. Nothing is TOO big for God to handle.
If you feel like it's too much, like you can't go on...don't go on it alone. If no one is there, sometimes God removes everyone there could be to talk to, so the only one left (the most important one) is him.
You will be happy again. You will feel like going on, I promise!
I love you!
You're precious!
And if no one else has told you how amazing you are...I did!
You're amazing, loved, and amazing things to do in this world!
huge love and even bigger hugs (through the computer), your friend kandee

"O LORD, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you.  May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.  For my soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave." - psalm 88

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31


Kristy said...

i borrowed your verse for the day.. My good friend just went from planning his wedding to planning a funeral .. a tragic car accident ( he was driving) Took her life today. I thought all of my fb friends that know would find the verse apropriate today.. Thank you Kandee you always make me smile even in this terrible time! You will be in my prayers as well .

Anonymous said...

I love all your post Kandee, but this one is especially awesome!
God bless you and everything your up too!

Eden Angel said...

What a thoughtful post as always!
Enjoy your time at Disneyland. You deserve it! :) xx

Anonymous said...

Thanks Kandee. This was an amazing read. It made my heart feel good. Its also very sad to know that other people go through these kind of pains. This world can be a very bad one if you make it out to be that way. But knowing its all in our heads and we can make it the way we want it is the best way to deal. That & prayer. A lot of folks get caught up in their daily routines & don't even know they are depressed until they break. We all have to take a step back and say "Hey, I need to slow down & enjoy what matters in life because its so short." & if you don't have a get away, you will find yourself most miserable & as the old saying goes "when it rains, it pours"

Anonymous said...

Kandee I love you. You're blogs/videos make me smile when sometimes I honestly can't especially latelyy with the passing of my boyfriend and everything somedays I just don't know exactly how to function. This blog definitely brightened my dayy. You're amazingg =]

. said...

This weekend I felt that way... Sad, and sad. :/

But I went to see your videos on Youtube xD
And... I felt happy again, because I like make-up and stuff, it's my dream. And this weekend I thought about giving up! But just like you said... This will pass. :)

Thank you my Idol, thank you sooo much! :')

Christine Riojas said...

What an inspiration you are! Not only do you help me feel pretty on the outside but you help me feel pretty on the inside too. Thank you Kandee. May God bless you.
Love and hugs <3 <3 <3

Giselle Onischuk said...

Kandee!! you are such a beautiful person..!!
(I didn't know that you are a Christian too)
You are totally right! God is waiting for everyone of us to return to His unfailing love! because He loved us first..
God is an amazing God...! He has the power to change our sadness into happiness! and to give us Peace...
keep going! there's more ahead for each one of us !! But always remember .seek God first and all things will be given to you!.. Matthew 6:33
Kandee ... may God bless your life, family, work and your beautiful heart!
I wish I could meet you someday!
you rock girl! love ya!..

jjx23 said...

Hey Kandee, I'm so glad you posted this. I like how you emphasized that you don't like religion but you love God. I think it's important for people to undertand that loving God isn't a religion. It's a relationship. Christinaity itself is a relationship. It's just been thrown and tossed around for centuries and essentially got turned into a religion. But I'm so happy to hear that you have a relationship with God and that you have faith and hope in Him. It makes me happy to hear that influential people like yourself are able to write on blogs that many people read about God and I hope that other people will find the same solace and comfort in Him that you find in God as well. Take care Kandee,


jjx23 said...

Hey Kandee, I'm so glad you posted this. I like how you emphasized that you don't like religion but you love God. I think it's important for people to undertand that loving God isn't a religion. It's a relationship. Christinaity itself is a relationship. It's just been thrown and tossed around for centuries and essentially got turned into a religion. But I'm so happy to hear that you have a relationship with God and that you have faith and hope in Him. It makes me happy to hear that influential people like yourself are able to write on blogs that many people read about God and I hope that other people will find the same solace and comfort in Him that you find in God as well. Take care Kandee,


ERIND1212 said...

wow, i always feel like you are talking to you have esp???? :) everyday you just continue to amaze me, even when you are going through a rough patch, you see the positive side, and share your story to encourage others. i wish there were more KANDEEs in the world! imagine that, it would be awesome, there would be cupcakes everywhere!!! i hope you have AN AMAZING time @ DISNEY!!!! i am going to be taking my family (myself, husband, son and daughter) for my little princess's 5th birthday, so it will be next june! I CANT WAIT to take her to the bibidi babidi bouique :) for whatever reason, DISNEY makes me so emotional. we went in october of 2008, it was our last big family trip together before my husband deployed for a year, on the last day we did MAGIC KINGDOM, at the end of the day we watched the fireworks over the castle and saw TINKERBELL fly out, OMG i cant even type this without crying! it was such a magical moment for me, I FINALLY GOT TO DISNEY!!! i was 25! i was always promised a trip as a child...but it was a broken promise..i think thats why it meant so much, i wanted to go my whole life, and i think it was even more special because i had my hubby and babies with me!
i have never met you in person, but i hope that i can get to a GLAMINAR, i probably will be the crazy fan that cries when they meet you! but they would be tears of joy for finally being able to meet such an amazing mother, woman and artist! thank you for you inspiration you give me daily!!!

Serendipity said...

This is so what I needed to hear today Kandee. It has been a rough week and I have felt on the verge of another breakdown. I thank God for angels like you who send messages of hope. Because really that's what it's all about hope for a better day. My bipolar booty will tackle today and move on again tomorrow. Have fun at the happiest place on earth 8-D

Unknown said...

Hi Kandee!!
I've just discovered your blog... im from mexico... let me tell you girl, THERE'S NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU. Your already has prove it to yourself; your are succesful beutifull woman with a gorgeous heart!
Nothing will bring you down...
Thanks for being a light in so many people's life!
Smile girl, God is by your side!

ps. sorry for the really bad english.

Sun said...

u make me feel much better Kandee with this blog post and it made me want to cry i wish i was lucky as u are and everyone else as i always say i feel different from everyone else and i wish i got to meet u and be ur friend and love u and i think ur right we all have hard times and im 13 and im starting my hard times i wish i can meet u!!!!!

please check out my youtube channel

i love ur videos and i hope u watch mine too and i always talk about depression in some of my vids and its a hard thing to go throu and not everyone understand my feelings even thou i tell them

nicollette said...

WOW! really touched my heart and made me cry. I've been going through so much right now and you have helped me so much! Thank you ;)

Anonymous said...

That was the most beautiful, heart warming blog Ive ever read! Thank you soooo much Kandee :) My aunt committed suicide, I just wish she was able to tell everyone, or just one person how she felt. I guess the pain was too much to handle. The next time I am down about something, I'm going to read this.


Mokas said...

Once again, Thanxxx Kandee =)
I've started following your blog due to an interest on make up (I'm a photographer).
I've learned that there's more to make up than just make up... it's a matter of feeling good about ourselfs rather than just looking pretty.
There should be more people like you in the world... positive and bright, and always with a friendly word of advice.

A big hug from portugal

Lupita :) said...

kandee.. you encorage me so much! you motivate me you just make me feel like everythings gonna be ok .. thank you so much! i told my best friend to read your blog and your videos .. she feels so down right now.. and reading and listenin to you really helped me a lot wit the hard things in life.. and im sure she will feel hopefull and motivated after she reads and sees your videos and ur blog (: y?? cz your such an amazing person kandee! i love you!

Almost Domestic said...

This has come at the perfect time. I am just removing myself from an abusive marriage. Seeking safety and help was the most scary, heart breaking, confusing, and strong thing I've done. I have been clinging to my sanity and worried if I would be able to make it through. My family and friends have been HUGE in insiping me to just get to the next moment. The hardest part coming from this experience has been the isolation and fear. Learning and reading your blog that in truth we are never alone has been liberating! I know I am not alone that yourself and many readers have been where I am sadly. I just want to say to everyone how much grateful I am to read your stories and kind words of inspiration each day to eachother! Kandee you have helped to reinspire the girlie side of my true independant self to go back to school to become a make up artist. This has been a glamour glimmer in my heart for a number of years. Your words have spoken to my broken heart and I feel that I can move forward fear or not. Thank you for being the wonderful you and sharing your self with us each day!

Lilscorpiosweetie said...


You have the most kindest heart anyone can ask for. Your words are uplifting and for anyone that reads them I hope that it helps heal them in ways that only they know. Your words are an inspiration to us all and they touched my heart. Thank you.

malutka said...

OMG Kandee, you have no idea how much I needed to hear these words today. I just heard someone telling a nasty lie about myself and felt so helpless and sad. Thank you for being there and writing this amazing blog. Huge love from Poland!

VLP said...

I so needed to read this at this very moment, as my heart is full of sadness and hurt right now, too. :( Thank you for your love, hope, kindness and encouraging words, Kandee! You are a blessing, and I'm glad to have bookmarked your blog and clicked on it to read today!

I know this, too, shall pass, and we'll be happy again, but it's so hard to hang on while you're going through it.

Much love,


Mrs. Holman said...

Thank you for being so open and honest with your faith in God. I love seeing people step outside whats 'acceptable' to the world and just be free to share what God has done in their hearts. He truly is worth talking about.
You reach more people with your witness and testimony then you realize.
God bless!

Oana Roxana said...

♥I love you too,Candy! Do you mind if I'm calling you that way? :D
I won't give up and I won't let the others do it either.♥

The Wirt Family said...

Hey Kandee. I just think the world of you. All you have done for ppl, and all that you try to do everyday. You are an extraordinary person. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You derserve praise and recognition for all that you have accomplished and will accomplish. You were ment for big things. I am sorry that you have had a rough time, but I know that if you didn't, you couldn't help others who are hurting also. That is why we are given hard struggles to overcome. Your words have lifted my spirits today more than you will ever know. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Just know when you are down, that there are ppl out there who strive to emulate you, like little ol' me in Oregon! I <3 Kandee!

Unknown said...

thankyou x.

Duchess Curses Like a Sailor said...

You are SO uplifting and positive! I have had the worst year since the end of 2008 (I lost my job of 10 years) and have really been super depressed. I have now found a job, that while it does not pay super bunches like my job before, makes me happy. I have also found the love of my life (my 8th grade boyfriend who I lost touch with our Freshman year of high school) and now, 17 years later we are married! So some things rock, and some things still suck! I know that you have many people that follow you and your blog, but I want you to know how your positivity helps me. Your the best! <3 you!!

Unknown said...

:) Thanks so much Kandee :)
Its really awesome to see this side of you :). I totally understand i have had my own troubles in the past and turning to God really does help a ton, anyone out there who feels like their world is crumbling down and theres nothing else to live for remember God never gives you more then what you can chew, The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not Protect you,God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need, to help you, to have you ,to love you & to make you in to the person you were meant to be. So remember that when ever you feel down and pray to the lord b/c hes anxious to help you up on your feet again and make everything better... you just have to ask :)

Mammamia said...

Thank you Kandee for being the wonderful person you are. I've been not wanting to wake up for a few days now, but just reading your blog eases the suffering. Ty for reminding me to count my blessings and not give up. I hope you have a much better week and hope your leg feels better too!!
Lots of love and virtual cupcakes your way! <3 <3

Lizadramaqueen said...

kandee I felt that feeling before but most of all I felt nobody likes or loves me and you just loose purpose in life.But lately that has changed as I have found a purpose.....and I fell better, relieved and most of all loved
your number one fan..Liza xx

Anonymous said...

Kandee thank you so much for this! You help so many people! You are truly a blessing and a sweetheart!

Noelle Garnier said...

those verses are so beautiful, hopeful, and encouraging -- i will put them on my board to look at every day! thank you for sharing all this, and i hope your encouragement will inspire others to give their lives a second chance. suicide is never the answer ... it hurts the people who love you so much. i know that desperation makes people do desperate things, but ending your life will not fix anything. God's love follows us to the darkest depths, and there is nowhere he cannot bring us back from. he is ready to redeem.
you have such a compassionate spirit, kandee, keep using it to show God's love! i appreciate you!
kandee fam lil sis

Lola said...

Thank you so much Kandee...reading this has made me feel so much better...I'm going through a tough time right now & reading your kind words has lifted my truely are an inspiration!

Anonymous said...


I wrote you an email the other day via YouTube, it is about stuff like this, hope you get to read it,

Love ya, hope you have a great day,

Your No. 1 Fan,

Grace :-) xxxooo

amber_j said...

Thank you for this, Kandee. I've been having a tough few weeks. It's coming up to a year since my father died, a new relationship feel apart, my new job has left me disillusioned and exhausted, and it's taking months for me to get used to the new country/city I've moved too.

Thank you for reminding me that there is always hope and that God is always there to support and guide us, through the good and bad in life. Tomorrow is a new day; a new week. I'll try and remember that when I open my eyes. After all, each new day is a blessing - not everyone gets to experience that.

Unknown said...

Kandee, I want to thank you so much for posting this. It's like the words you wrote were just for me. I've been having a lot of regret about the things I've done in the past and the things I've done more recently. And what you said about feeling like I've broken God's heart for not doing what I should is so true. But I also like how you said that NOTHING is too big or too small for God to handle, that I can start fresh and change the things I've been doing. Thank you for writing this just for me (hahaha that's what it feels like.) Sometimes it's just nice to know that another human being out there feels exactly the why I do, even if it's about different situations. Again, thank you thank you thank you! This made me cry just reading it and how true it all is. said...

I have only started following your blogand watching your videos a short while ago. But I have never felt so much warmth and strength coming through the written word. You are such an amazing, strong and adorable person. Everytime I read your posts I feel that your REALLY mean it. Everytime I watch your videos (which I've done a lot during he past two weeks) I think 'wow, she is so amazing, so strong, so happy, so fun and so real'.
Thank you Kandee, thank you for sharing and thank you for caring.


Unknown said...

Have such a beautiful life as you are!

Laura said...

you are a fantastic woman. just thought I should let you know :) xx

Anonymous said...

Oh my God. I've even now sent an e-mail for Kandee about this.
Is it Coincidence, Or a Sign From the Universe? Who knows?

Alina9ful said...

I love you Kandee!!!
Have a nice week!

Msbabykitten said...

Thank you kandee God Bless you! <3

sonya said...

Bless your heart! Yes, we all have HORRIBLE moments in life, but I know God allows what He can trust us to endure. You must be a strong person to handle alot of the heartache & obstacles that life has thrown at you. Although I definitely wish you no sadness or hard times, it makes it so easy to relate to you, knowing that you're like one of "us", lol. You are so down to earth!

I pray that the peace & joy that only God can really provide will overwhelm you all of your days & that everyone who reads your blog & works with you has a special blessing due to what you share & bless us all with. You are amazing, & I love the Isaiah scripture. It is one of my faves.

SANJA said...

Kandee, I have had a very tough week, too. When I read your blog today, I couldn't believe that you put into words exactly how I feel right now: broken, alone, and powerless. But, once again, you lifted me up, and thank you for that. I wish I could meet you and talk to you, we have so much in common. Your good heart, your courage, and your sincerity are priceless and I just want you to know that you have a true friend in me.
I love you,


I just wanna give you a huge hug!
Your words touch my heart
and I'm glad I got to know you..
It's unbelievable that there are still amazing people as you.....


zeldahopper said...

wow! Love it.And I so badly needed to hear this today, I'm crying right now b/c it's so strange who God will use to speak to you. Thank you for being that person today.

annette1030 said...

Something that always helped me was telling myself that ALL THINGS COME TO AN END - good and bad, some just end sooner than we'd like them to. Nothing is permanent, nothing is right or wrong, it just is and can be taken as a learning exerience, attach to nothing and free yourself from your own bondage and breathe.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for being so open with your fans. I feel like i have become a more positive person after reading or watching one of your posts. You are just so sweet and thoughtful... So i just wanted to return the love and tell YOU that everything will be OK and you will get through any troubles you are having and be a stronger person when things do start to get better.

Thank you!!

TwinStarr said...

My twin sister and I stumbled across you on youtube about a month ago. We were on a desperate search on how to put on false eyelashes after a horrid experience when our own natural lashes fell off due to a bad decision of getting permanent lashes with track glue! We loved your name an clicked on your how to video. We have been loyal fans since then :)We check your blog daily and love, LOVE all your videos, tricks, tips, wonderful sense of humor, smile, beauty, love of life & amazing talent! Thank you for all your wonderful advice & re-assurance that no matter what life throws our way, we have God on our side & if he is for us, who can be against us! It's refreshing to see your love & trust in God! You are a great role-model. Keep up the amazing work. You inspire us so much to be kind & to smile more. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Kandee i truly believe that you are an angel. I have never even heard of someone who wants nothing more than everyone to be fully and completely happy. I feel like this some days much less than i used too. I used to feel like this everyday and just say why not end it? You have to pick yourself up, you have to love yourself and make your life worth living! we love you so very much kandee and just remember when you have a hater there are 100 or more people that love you! Stay beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this message. God is certainly using you in mighty ways! Thanks for allowing him to do that. I don't like religion either, I like truth and He is truth! I woke up this morning wanting to give up, hoping for the pain to be gone but then I remembered that God does not allow more that we can handle and although my family and I are going through really hard times. We are
looking forward to the outcome! Kandee you are such an amazing example of humbleness, passion and love. You have inspired me to be all that I can be and to share with others the hope of something better r
that can only be found in Him! Thank you for being the timely messenger and for having a sensitive ear for the Lord! God bless you babe!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this message. God is certainly using you in mighty ways! Thanks for allowing him to do that. I don't like religion either, I like truth and He is truth! I woke up this morning wanting to give up, hoping for the pain to be gone but then I remembered that God does not allow more that we can handle and although my family and I are going through really hard times. We are
looking forward to the outcome! Kandee you are such an amazing example of humbleness, passion and love. You have inspired me to be all that I can be and to share with others the hope of something better r
that can only be found in Him! Thank you for being the timely messenger and for having a sensitive ear for the Lord! God bless you babe!

Kate Buhler said...

Thank you for your post. I was having a very difficult night last night and I decided I needed to pull myself out of it. It's okay to be sad but I was getting too low. So, I watched some of your videos and was inspired again. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Lots of love to you!

Dorota Poklękowska said...

Thank you for those words.
You have great power, which makes even the worst moments, there is hope.
You give me the hope!
You give me motivation and makes the belief in tomorrow.
You live so far away from me, but you always give me a reason to smile. (besides I'm Polish)
Once again, thank you.
I'm sending you hugs !
Love You !

Stephanie. said...

This has touched me so much tonight.
I came home tonight so very upset. Everything seems to have piled up and I don't know what to do about it.
But I read this and it made me cry. More than I have in quite a while. I realised that it WILL be all right. When I begin to think about it, it's not a big a deal. I'm still healthy with a roof above my head.
Thank you Kandee. You brighten up my day, always :)

PersianCat said...

Kandee you are so amazing, I can't tell you how happy I am that I ever found you on youtube...I was going through the toughest, lowest point in my life all through 2008-2009...and early 2009 I was just browsing through youtube looking for a distraction, and there I found you giving out your awesome makeup tips, but you are so much more than a 'distraction' on youtube, you are a true inspiration, and you have really helped me to keep going on and not giving up...I don't know how you do it, but you truly reached out to me and so many others I'm sure without even meeting us in person...I can't tell you how grateful I am to have 'stumbled' upon such a wonderful soul...I only hope all of my positive thoughts towards you can also brighten your most certainly deserve it!!...Keep smiling because you have the prettiest smile! =) All the best, Alina from Toronto!

Madeleine said...

Firstly, Have THE BEST DAY EVERR at Disneyland Hun!!

WOW my eyes are filled with tears.. but, you really shined a light in me.. Thank you for writing something dealing with life's ups and downs.. You made me feel hopeful again and to tell myself I must keep going.. things get bad but maybe that's when you have to really reach outside of yourself to someone.. it becomes appent at your darkest hour.. Keeping my head up!! Take Care.. Heal!! Hugss

~Peace Mady

Anonymous said...

I always tell myself, "This too shall pass." It's easy to think that the bad times will stay, but I always try to remind myself that bad can stay just as long as good can. Sometimes we just have to wait it out, and it makes us appreciate the good times even more!!!!!

KJ said...

Amazing!!! And SO VERY TRUE! I feel proud of u just for writing this for oher to see! God has also taken me out of the depths of my own hurts & although its a long process, I now know that when u go thru something painful enough to bring u down emotionally, you don't tell God how big your problems are, you tell your problems how BIG YOUR GOD IS!!! :)

Love u Kandee! ;)

pynsarkis22 said...

Amen! God bless you for those words of peace tha you just told me, because I am having a difficult time in my live right now in my marriage, and i needed that.. Thank You!

Christine said...

I've had a really hard week as well and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through another except God. Looking forward to the happy times again soon. Thanks Kandee, for your words of love and hope :)

Unknown said...

kandee you always have a way of encouraging people and making everyone feel loved. you rock!

~brittany from seattle

Unknown said...

you always have a way of encouraging people and letting people feel so loved. we love you too kandee!

~brittany from seattle

Blonde Mafia said...

Great post Kandee girl.
This is great and amazing.
I know we all feel like this from time to time.
Hope you dont mind, Im gonna post this on my blog as well. just as a reminder to anyone that see's it may know that this too shall soon pass.

Vanessa G. said...

Wow, Kandee! You're so awesome :) This post was inspiring and I loved the verses at the end. They're one of my favorites!

Thanks and God Bless!

illinlostworld said...

"sometimes God removes everyone there could be to talk to, so the only one left (the most important one) is him".That's one of the most beautiful sentences I have ever read. Thank you Kandee , you have such a beautiful and pure soul. I totally can relate to you.
I am not in a very good situation with my son's dad but your words really made my day. Kisses.

sarah said...

thanks Kandee this is so true and just needed that little reminder! your an amazing person who has touch so many peoples lifes.

Unknown said...

I don't know how to phrase this without sounding fangirl-ish and insincere, but i really wanted to thank you for all the hope and joy you have given all of us; you are amazing and lucky- lucky to have a heart as warm and loving as yours (And such awesome sense of style!)
I don't you know how you keep smiling and everything after all you have been through, but i hope with all my heart i could have such strength one day. You have a lot to be proud of!

dorian.yoder said...

amazing post...just found you on youtube and went to your blog. Wanted to do a updo and makeup for a wedding i am attending. I pray that you are eeling better andGod is amazing and gives a new day everyday.

Eleanor at Mirror Of My World said...

kandee this post is amazing, and so true, heartfelt and connected..........i think its amazing how you reach out to help people.:)

Beanie said...

Thanks Kandee... I really needed to read this today.

Unknown said...

kandee, your posts make me feel better all the time. you feel like a second mom to me! thanks for all the advice <3

Amy said...

Your words of truth lifted my head and quieted my heart tonight. Thank you.

Carole and Kendall Holiday said...

Thank you for writing what you did. It was encouraging to me and amazing that you aren't afraid to speak boldly about God. He really is the ultimate healer!

Miri Ryan said...

The father figure I had in my life, took his own. It was two and a half years ago and it was so, so hard. I still think of him every day. There are unanswered questions, yes, but mostly, I remember how he lived. I think, Kandee, what you are doing is great. I wish no one ever felt so helpless and alone, that they just stop living. <3

Anonymous said...

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read! you are so sweet and positive through all of life's hardships! you really are beautiful on the inside and out! I love you kandee!!!

~Marie~ said...

I am in that boat right now. I work with someone who is racist, sexist, and a all around bully to anyone and everyone (but mostly women). The company won't fire him, I can't seem to get a new job in radio broadcasting. I want a new job, with people who are there to work, not behave like douche cannons. I don't know what else to do, and beside change career fields, and I'm not even sure what other career I can apply my radio skills in. Some days I get so down from being bullied I just cry, it's rough.

But I just keep trying for a new job, and think as positive as I can. This has got to turn around sometime......preferably soon.

Jessica Louise said...

You are amazing. Your words are touching and inspiring, I read your blog posts every day and they really change how I think about life! I too adore cupcakes, and I think you are so kind for being able to share your warm sunshine into the lives of others. Have you ever herd of this website?

This always brings a tear of joy to my eyes, and lets me know there is good out in the world.

Keep up the inspiring work, you gave me a better outlook on life!

Thankyou Kandee x Jessica Louise

mzjennalee said...

Hi Kandee...recently I find myself creating accounts just to either see what your up to or subscribe (youtube). you truly are an inspiration, I've seem almost all of your videos and I love each one. You have an amazing personality and a very very big ♥. Don't stop believin!! :) I love that song..but don't ever stop being you, I know you make a lot of people smile just with yours and your voice. ♥Jennifer..
i started bloggn here too :)

Kana said...

love love love the PS. 88 verse! And your post :) Thank your for all of it... I've been going through a horrible time lately and this touched my heart!

Theearcticfox said...

I love your inspiration. I have been there too. Hugs back!

Theearcticfox said...

I love that you are so inspirational. Keep your chin up and remember that you too are loved. Hugs back!

Unknown said...

Hey Kandee!
I look forward to every single on of your videos and blog posts and facebook updates because they always brighten up my day!

I love you and i whole heartedly respect everyones views about religion and god, but i know that for me there is no god.
I don't like to label myself as an atheist, because i feel thats like putting me into a label and thats exactly what i hate about religion. But i guess i share a few of the same principals as them.

I feel like you feel the only way out of depression is god. Like you say, when all else falls around you there is god. What about those that don't have god in their life and do not wish to either. I feel like... wow, if you guys have god, what do i have?

Hope your leg heart and head heals super fast your the most amazing toughest chicky i've ever known.
HUGE LOVE lol Alysa.

cupcakechronicles said...

Just from another perspective religion is not a bad thing. I used to think how you do about it but you are refering to people who have "legalistic" thinking (a bunch of rules and regulations), which actually goes against the bible teachings. Not all people who go to church are judgmental, a lot are not at all and are extremely welcoming and recognize we all have a sin nature and God's grace is available to you as well as everyone else. Going to church can build friendship and bond people together with common interests and hold people accountable (not in a judging way but a loving way) to accepting God's grace.

I think you're great Kandee. Just don't turn completely on the concept of religion. If you find the right church it can be an amazing experience, if anything to just listen to some good music and learn a thing or two.

QueenChristy said...

I wish I had a friend like you.
You're so sweet.

Shirlene said...

I love how you separate religion from God because it's true. People can become so religious that they scare others off rather than attracting them.

I'm certain that this post will be able to speak to those who are hurting and in need of an encouragement. :)

Keep spreading your love, smiles and joy through your posts!

Love ya and God bless you and your family!

Unknown said...

Hello Kandee,

Thank you for your post. You are absolutely right - everybody passes through such times. Somebody often and somebody rarely, buy nobody can be protected. To be in love is one of the best feelings we can ever have. But pretty often these romantic moments aren't long, they are like dreams... but one day we have to wake up and then we realize everything's over. But, please, do not think it is over! You are smart, elegant, sensitive, beautiful person. I have been reading your blog for 3 month. On youtube I saw your makeup video and decided to sign in, but I couldn't even imagine I will enjoy reading your posts. You are a very bright and interesting personality.
About heartbreaking I understand you really good. Recently I've fallen in love with a married guy. And I did think about suicide after I was told he was married. I had to pass exams in the university, I had to write my diploma, I had to go to work, had to smile to everybody and pretend I was ok. But at that time I had only one wish, I simply wanted to stop living.
And now I can tell you time makes it easier!!! I guess you have heard this words many times, but it is true, you'll see :)
I have one idea about your next post. the topic is "What kind of man (guy) can be real friend and husband?" I mean how to distinguish that one person from the crowd? How to understand this is him? Should we fight for him? Or maybe we should date/marry guy who loves us in spite the fact we are not in love with this guy.
Hang on, Kandee, everything will be fine!!!!


Unknown said...

I admire how you can be so strong after all that has happened to you! Keep going, it's the right thing to do. You have understood what life is about and I thank you for sharing it with us who might haven't done so yet.
Keep enjoying the precious things God gives you. Enjoy the trip to Disneyland, little lovely Disney princess :-) kisses

justjenn143 said...

I just want to thank you for your honesty and openess.. I have felt like that many times and it has only been God that has pulled me out of the dark places and made me realize just how much blessings are around me and how much i have to be grateful for. I pray that you have the peace and love and joy and contentment you deserve in your life.

Indianbeautie said...

I love your posts,,...Keep up the good work

Marcela Rahal said...

Hey Kandee, i'm brazilliam and i've following your blog for a while, and i do love this post.. because what you say, is what people feels..
And i tell you... i've been trought depression... i'm taking meds now.. and i'm getting better day by day... but, when i didn't go to the doctor.. it was so hard to handle! it was like there's another voice inside your head, who tells you the most terrible things to do... including kill yourself.. and the only people who knows how hard it is... is the one whos already feel it! cause... it can be imagined! and i really have a clue about how you feel.. but you're already find the key..!
When i couldn't sleep.. or wake in the meadle of the night really thinking of killing my self, i looked up to God.. and i pray to Him so Hard... and i feel so close to Him, and He helped me!! he gave me his love, and the love of everyonde around me who loves me..!!
Cause.. you can take the as much meds that you want, but if God doesn't want this to work.. it won't work!! But God LOVES us, He's is full of love and ready to give it for the one's who search for It, for HIM!!
God will help you! nothing's gonna harm you! I'll pray for you, it doesnt matter if you know me or not... because we're brothers and sisters, and our father is the same.. GOD.


Kala said...

Thank you Kandee. You are amazing. God, bless this girl until she overflows!!!

Heather @ Simple Wives said...

Love that verse you has been a comfort to me so many times in my life!!

I have watched so many of your videos, and have learned SO much! Could you share tips on how to get the make-up look of Reese Witherspoon? I would love that!


Shelby Renae said...

I say this every time, but these are just the words I needed to hear. <3 Especially when you said, "sometimes God removes everyone there could be to talk to, so the only one left is him". I don't have very many friends anymore (I say anymore because I used to have lots of "friends", but they brought me down and I decided it was time to get rid of all the negative people), so it feels like I have no one to talk to these days. But you always give me hope, sweet Kandee! You help me see things from a new perspective. You're like a big sister and best friend all in one. So thank you! Lots of love and God bless, xoxo

texasbeautyjunkie said...

I think its wonderful what you are doing. I love, relate & believe in how you express yourself freely to everyone. Most importantly, you stay true to yourself & are a good mother. With every fire we go thru in life we come out on the other end refined.
My all time favortie quote by Simone de Beauvoir,
Ones life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion.
stay positive & sweet
because ur the "bees knees"!

Kharina said...

Hey Kandee,

I've got work troubles and it's causing me so much grief it's havoc for my mental health. What I once thought was a good job has turned completely against me and made me a tad bit paranoid about my ability and self worth. The only positive thing (besides getting baby guinea pigs born just a few hours ago) is my wedding this August with the man I thought I would never meet. I continuously questioning myself whether I really should take a step back and just do what I really want to do. I turn 34 in July, I can't help but think it's too late, that have I screwed up so much that it's just broken and ready for scrapping. Have I overestimated myself, my skills and ability?

Then again, I know I am my fiercest critic, and I guess you are the same. Don't be hard on yourself, and let it go. Provided it's not health related and terminal - you can solve it!

Much love and support. x

purpleisbliss said...

Thanks Kandee! I've been feeling like that most of this school year and its only gotten worse. .Thank you for your kind words. No one has ever told me anything like that. Thanks for helping me realise the tears I've been holding in for months. Your friend, Grace

bittersweetpea said...

Couldn't have said it any better! That's excactly how I feel about sadness and hanging onto God. I'm so happy that you're sharing this with the world-I don't really have the courage to do that yet, to take that leap of faith. I'm still taking one step at a time, hesitant with myself. You are such an amazing person-though I'm sure you've heard that a bajillion times. But I haven't commented on any of ur posts of videos before because I'm not an internet communicating person. Your talent is not just in makeup and optimism but in simply spreading your bubbly spirit and love for God. It's clear that you're now overwhelmed with joy and not pain! The past few weeks I've felt the same joy spilling over me before, and I find it hard to describe or explain because it's nothing like anything on Earth. Please pray for my best friend who's living overseas-she's gone through her parents divorcing and much more and she's distant from God since then. She reminds me of you though because she's a model and she's got your kind of sparkling happy spirit always. But being in highschool in a rich city, I'm afraid she might lose way. I would hate to lose her. especially if i knew i'd done nothing to help her back to God. I wish the word Christianity was not under the category of religion but a relationship-it's definately NOT a religion!!! He's the greatest most perfect love of all who heals, guids, comforts, embraces, us as a father, friend, teacher...he's even willing to die for us even when we're spitting back insults at him instead of letting him in our hearts. I want to scream it to the world that the love they're looking for is right here! This comment got so long..I wonder, if you read this, how long you take to read all of these comments! I'll praying for you Kandee-God bless! love, Hannah from Korea.

Kayla Curto said...


I am a huge fan!
You touch so many lives and I am sure you have saved many as well. I sent you an e-mail of something I really hope you post. You could save a life! I posted it on my blog as well.

Out of all the stories about not using your cell phone while driving, this one gave me the goosebumps!!!

Please take the time to just glance at it and possibly blog about it.


You can see the story on my blog as well


FaithHopeLove said...

you are touching the world with your compassion kandee - keep shining your light with us all, you are an angel on earth. XO

Anonymous said...

kandee you are a amazing person ! i think anybody should be their own best friend....have you read louise hay? you would love it !

Laila S. said...

Hi Kandee,
I was watching your videos on youtube today. You always have such a genuine presence on the videos, so I decided to look at your blogs. I felt like it was "fate." I have felt every part of your last entry in the past couple of years. I just want to say that every bit of this entry touched me. As I read the entry tears started to poor down my cheeks. I felt so releaved, and inspired to know that someone else out there cares. Thank you so much for everything...Your Awesome!!!

Leanne Novakovich said...

hope your feeling alot better now. ive had a shitty past 3 and a half yrs and I really believe that I was meant to read your post today. THANK YOU XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anonymous said...

Kandee you are so inspiring and amazing! If you haven't read 'The Shack' by William Young you should! It is amazing! This quote from the book reminded me of you and I know its perfect for everyone who's reading this post:
"But your choices are not stronger than my purposes and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome."-God (Papa)

Anonymous said...

Kandee ~
Thank you for all your words of hope. I love knowing that I have someone that understands everything and really isn't afraid of being real. I grew up in the church and as of late, really hate hearing the "it'll be okay, God has a plan" words. I know what they say is true, however, sometimes I feel like some Christians don't think its 'godly' to have bad feel alone and hurt and feel the pain that has followed you through years. I was molested as a kid and I feel like everyone just sweeps it under the rug, like God will bring healing..and I know He may, but right now, I struggle with it. It's been 13 years and I still feel like a little girl sometimes. Your words bring hope, remind me of the God that loves me and is truly there to bind up my broken heart. You are an inspiration and your beautiful words bring joy to my soul. I love that you remind me that even though there is so much pain and ugliness in the world, there is so much beauty and love in it too...we just have to immerse ourselves in that. I am praying for you and your heart.

Love, Jamie

Pa+anda said...

I have been hurting for 10 years...and I have thought all the things I do are wrong when in my heart its things I love to do and have a gut feeling of my decisions but everyone around me are just clueless of the ideas i have when I share them. But honestly...Thank you Kandee for this post because I felt like you knew who I was and giving me encouraging words. Seriously thank you.

Jessica said...

I read this and just started to cry. You might not even read this comment, cause so many people have already replied. But this just touched my heart so much.
A little over a year ago my friend committed suicide. Myself and one of my old best friends (who was is girlfriend) found his body. She was a mess and falling apart right in front of my eyes. I some how had the strength to wake up his grandfather to tell him what we'd seen and explain to him that he should call 911. And my friend was hysterical, and I held her as tight as I could telling her it would be okay.
My point to telling you this is, is that I believe God was there with me that night and lead me to be there with his girlfriend when we found him, because I don't know if she'd still be here today if she had found him alone. I believe God gave me the strength to hold myself together for my friend's breaking heart and for his grandparents. I also believe God was with my friend that took his own life that night, but he just couldn't see it. Some people beg to differ, because in the Bible it says if you commit suicide you go to Hell, but I know my friends in a better place now. I know I'll get to see him again one day and that brings me peace.
Thank you for posting this, because you never know how many lives you saved just by typing those words. You are some one to be looked up to, and I think it's beautiful that you can humble yourself enough to post something like this.
Again, thank you, because your words are more powerful than you know.

<3 Jessica

Bilgentolis said...

i have read this post with tears in my eyes. nowadays i really feel like i dont want to wake up and your post has given me strength. i love you. thank you.

Sarah said...

It's very sad to me that we can be so overwhelmed by just one emotion...but then, amazingly, we pull out of it. I hope that you start to feel better soon!!! You are so amazing and always make my day better!!!

Emily said...

Kandee- you are absolutely amazing. I've grown up in a Christian home. I've been blessed beyond what I realize and at times I still feel really depressed. Life is just hard. I try to look unto God and it's ALWAYS hard but I've also learned God ALWAYS fufills his promises. My favorite verse is 1 Peter 5:10 which says-
"After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will HIMSELF restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." I love this verse SO much. What a promise He has made. Especially when it says he HIMSELF will restore... etc. To me that just shows how much only God can completely satisfy you and make you whole again. Nothing in this world.

I hope I grow up to be like you Kandee. You have such a kind- gentle heart. I get irritated by people ALL the time and I only pray I have a personality like yours so I can bring people to know our Lord and Savior.

You're absolutely amazing!!

Brandi said...

I just found your site today, through your youtubes, thank you for sharing these most intimate things - and you are right, we all feel this stuff at some point in time or two :o) It's good to talk about it, get it out in the open, and let others know it's good to talk and okay to! I love that scripture too. I hope you are feeling happier today!

Margie said...

Wow Kandee this post made me cry. Everything you wrote describes me and thank you for your friendship to all of us. I feel like that also..and sometimes my thought is..Wow im just 19 years old...Its very hard for me and specially when Im an obese person and here in Puerto Rico, some guys usually look for women for their physical attraction.Also, some of my friends usually when they are talking, they always say Im fat or I feel fat, and that makes me feel really bad. People should have feeling like you Kandee because you are very human and think about how others and you feel, instead of thinking only about yourself. Im very proud to have read this,this post gives me a push to keep on going and to feel that I really can achieve what I want. Thank you Kandee, thank you for writing this beautiful post

shively4jesus said...

kandee- i am a huge fan and i love this post! i love those verses you encouraging! i love how God promises to heal the broken hearted & only He can! i love how real you are! you bless me!!!!! Shannon

rock star said...

Awww! This is the best blog you've written, I am going through a hard time where my half siblings and father have rejected me, which it broke my heart and nearly comitted suicide. I got help thank god, but it was hard to make a choice to walk away from having a relationship with my father. I have my mom's male friend who is being a role model to me, which mattered a lot to have a role model in my life. I've now taking time to become happy again, I live with my mom because we didn't have a choice when her marriage to my father ended. I thank you for this blog it spoke out to me, cheers. xxx

A. said...

How can you love God after all you've had to go through? I don't understand.

rock star said...

God is always there he lets us go through stuff to learn from and touch others lives.

A. said...

@rock star-

"God is always there he lets us go through stuff to learn from and touch others lives."

That's supposed to make it okay?

Of course God is always there- He's omnipresent. He's even amongst the planets of the Solar System where there is no life.

I don't find it comforting that God is standing by, watching me suffer while I'm in agony.

To learn from and touch others' lives...well that's the ideal scenario I suppose. But the reality is that quite often, the suffering transforms one into cold, bitter, dark, twisted and ugly individual who hurts other people.

And what if one could care less about touching others' lives? Selfish, yes I know. But trials and tribulations can really push a person to their 'survival mode', thus making them more self-centered. It's human nature.

Unknown said...

thank you for those words i love this post it make my day no it make my week much love from Puerto Rico

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