Friday, June 29, 2012

Why I could be in a NIKE ad.....

You can find me where the pavement ends.
I used to run everyday.
I had been running for years.
But I haven't run for almost 2 years, since I hurt my leg.
I have a huge scar that wraps around half of my lower leg that looks like a giant "Nike Swoosh" symbol- if you want to read more about it you can click here, but be prepared for yuckiness.
Now, that alone is not why I could be in a Nike ad....
although that was a funny joke after they removed my "Frankenstein like stitches", to reveal my new leg "decoration".
I'd show you a picture, but I don't really photograph my legs very often. So at the time of typing this I have no pictures of good ol' "Swoosh leg".
I'm not a treadmill runner- that seems so boring. You're going no where and you can't feel the wind against your face or the sunshine on your skin.
I run outdoors. On dirt roads, where there's no one around.
I just take my iphone, headphones, water, and turn on my Pandora app.
And I run.
And I run.
And I run.
I don't run to get in shape. That might be a by-product.
I run because I process all my thoughts. It clears my head. And I used to feel like my day wasn't right unless I had gone running.

These last couple weeks. I have run again. Tears have streamed down my face. I've felt like God opened up heaven and let my dad hug me through the sunshine. I've felt hope. I've felt strong. I've felt like it was ok to cry, because no one could see me crying again.
As I would run so fast, it felt like I was moving the world beneath my feet. I felt small as I looked up at the vast sky. I've felt so many things I could be here describing them for way longer than you want to read this.
Running was, is, and has always been good for my mind, therapeutic for me. 
I run, not to be skinny. I run because to me, running is therapy.
I can't explain it...but as I ran the other day, I thought about all the years that I had been running, all the emotions I've processed as I have run, all my little heart aches and stresses, and ofcourse when my greatest heart ache of, knowing my dad is no longer on this Earth...I had to go running.
To be alone, with the sunshine, with God...and it feels like I could hear my dad saying, "Run like the wind!"....
And I did.

Getting ready to run like the wind...and feel my Dad hug me through the sunshine, your kandee

If you wanna see my kandeeland blog- which I did, in fact write today, also, click here.
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