Thursday, August 26, 2010

4 Steps to a Un-Perfect Life

How to Have a Perfect Life:
learn to laugh when things go un-perfectly
#1. Realize that Perfect Doesn’t Work

Why Perfect doesn’t work?
Perfect isn’t real. Tv shows are fake. Reality shows are fake. And as much as movies and celebrities make it seem that life is perfect, but ours are horrible, yuck lives, it’s not true.

It’s so easy to expect “perfect” from people and life. We didn’t get the perfect answer from our boyfriend or mom. We didn’t get the “perfect body” after taking the “magic pill” that some celebrity said is their “trick” to staying thin. We didn’t have a pack of “the bachelors” chasing us after we sprayed the new “attraction” perfume on. We didn’t get picked to win the contest that we wanted to win so bad.

Every time I plan a Glaminar and I want it to be perfect for everyone coming. Something always goes wrong- the sound doesn’t work, a prize didn’t show up, someone that was supposed to help doesn’t show up, the room is too small, the air-conditioning doesn’t work, the video guy doesn’t have the cables to play my slideshow. But I’ve realized to prepare for imperfection and be ready to say, “Ok, no biggie”. Yes, I'd like a perfectly normal looking leg, but unfortunately after my accident at the hotel, I will never have a "normal" looking leg. Oh well, at least I still have my leg, ugly or perfect, I'm glad I have it!


#2. Stop Being a Prisoner to Perfection

My name is Kandee Johnson, and I used to be a perfectionist.

Yes, I was paralyzed by decision making. “What if I don’t make the perfect choice!” “I can’t buy the black shoes, what if I realize I wanted grey!”...”I just won’t type  a blog, because what if type a dumb one.”
Or people would say,”what do you feel like eating?”, and I would default to them, “oh whatever sounds good”, YAY! Then I didn’t have to deal with the stress of picking something out. If it was gross, it wasn’t my fault! ha ha ha

I’ve since learned:
*prepare for mistakes and imperfection
the sooner you do the happier you’ll be.
*If you know stuff is gonna  go wrong, things aren’t gonna play out like a dream or a movie all the time,the more peaceful you'll be when they do go a little of plan!
*Prepare yourself, and just roll with the changes. It’s better to be the willow that bends in the wind, than the stiff tree that snaps and breaks in the breeze!
Don’t break, just bend!



Pearls are made from some dirt (garbage) that’s gotten trapped in an oyster. As it’s trying to deal with this “problem”, it gets turned into a beautiful pearl. Same thing with diamonds, from all the incredible pressure, the carbon get “uncomfortably” turned into something so valuable and sparkling, that people pay huge amounts to gaze as these and delight in the beauty of their twinkle.

My life has been events that have caused my mirror to shatter, but as I’ve picked up the broken pieces of my life, all those little shattered parts give off more sparkle, shine and light than before when it was more “perfect”!

If you feel that your life, your choices, the people are you, your home, your job, anything is far from perfect. Say YAY! I’m in great company. The most incredible people have come out of things that were far from perfect.

So you didn’t have the dream start to things: your first day of school, making your dreams happen, you can’t find that darn soul mate of yours anywhere, you can’t seem to get your life going how you want. It’s ok. I’ve been in more imperfect situations, houses, relationships (i could go on)...but in all those moments, I said “this is going to make me better, stronger, and more able to endure the challenges that greatness requires.

Remember you are like a precious pearl or diamond.....out of adversity comes the most priceless gems! You are a priceless gem!



 Sometimes it feels like we’re in a dark cave, with no signs of hope, or an exit, but life is not a cave, but a tunnel. And at any moment, that tunnel can take a quick turn, where you can’t see the light yet, but as soon as you keep going, you see the rays of light and hope showing you the way to go.

CHOOSE TO LOVE- rather than hate
CHOOSE TO SMILE - rather than frown
CHOOSE TO BUILD- rather than to tear down
CHOOSE TO PERSEVERE -rather than give up
CHOOSE TO PRAISE - rather than gossip
CHOOSE TO HEAL - rather than wound
CHOOSE TO GIVE - rather than than get
CHOOSE TO ACT - rather than delay
CHOOSE TO FORGIVE - rather than judge
CHOOSE TO PRAY - rather than despair

unperfectly typed (yes I'm sure there are errors in my blogs as well as in my life! ha ha ha)...huge love, your kandee


mikkaying said...

Kandee, Perfection is truly UNREAL. No one needs to live by anyone else's standards (or their belief of what perfection is). We are created different for certain reasons - INDIVIDUALITY and INTEGRITY are a couple reasons. And coincidentally I share so many imperfections with other people more than perfections. "I'm perfectly IMPERFECT!" =)

CourtChaosx said...

wow I read this at like the RIGHT time. Sitting here stressing about life and such, pretty much crying. And then I read this entry. thank you Kandee!

FOI-SE said...

Hi Kandee, I'm portuguese and I saw a video of yours on youtube. And I still remember wich one. It was "Nude Lips" wich I loved, by the way.
I really liked this post, your right, but sometimes is difficult to us to do all this stuff. We read it, and we say: ok that's true, but we usually don't apply that to our life! We think, we reflect but at the moment of truth we don't do this. How I wish to don't worry about the things, to let the things hapen, but I just keep feeling so stressed, because although I know that, it's just like I can't control the stress.
Maybe someday when I'm in these circumstances I will remember everything that you've wrote ans think that I shouldn't let that afect me that much.

(I'm sorry for the mistakes that may be in my writing, especially the prepositions, I'm always missing them, we don't have a very good relationship and it seems that they want to be upset with me for a little bit more time)

kisses ;)

lovelylillies said...

Kandee your such a gem!!!!

Jen said...

I love this post, Kandee. I am such a perfectionist with the "disease to please" and I hate disappointing people or not performing perfectly at work. It's something I've been very intentional about overcoming, but it's sooooo difficult. Complete perspective changes take time, and I am a work in progress :) Thanks for this post!!! Such a good reminder and encouragement "to bend" :) Love you lots!!! Can't wait to see you in ATL!

Unknown said...

Thank you Kandee!!! My friend and I were just discussing yesterday how trying to be perfect can be paralyzing and self-destructing. You're awesome :)

love, peace,


tammisim said...

I say "perfection is BORING"!! Love reading ur blogs. Very incuraging stuff!! I have 4 kids so I have had to give up perfection. An there is nothing more enjoying then taking are of my kids, but there is nothing perfect about it either!!(a.k.a. My house) haha!!

Anonymous said...

Kandee, I love you! This is such an excellent blog post, too. Such a great reminder :). It's easy to fall into the trap of just noticing everything that DOESN'T go how we want... and your words are a refresher, and inspire me to "reframe" things!

Love you!!!

brokemakeupjunkie said...

Thankyou for this post. I was having a horrible day and you brightened it up. I hate when things aren't perfect so normally I just push them under the rug but this post (along with my mums words of wisdom) has made me realise that I cant be a perfectionist or I'll go crazy. So thankyou Kandee I LOVE YOU & your amazing way to make me feel better =)

Kathi Khaotic said...

Thank you Kandee, you really are a big part of my life, you are what keeps me going when im down. And again Thank You Kandee for being such a help in my life.

OhMaudireSaMegg said...

If you ever have the time, you should be a motivational speaker! haha Your blogs are great Kandee, just like you!

monique said...

God bless You Kandee..thank You :-)

Unknown said...

I'm in the process of studying for State Board (for my esthetician's license). One thing our instructors are preparing for is that something will inevitably go wrong...the wedding planner mentality. Things will go wrong, but its how you recover that saves the day. That realization alone is a huge feat for a perfectionist like me.

Thanks for another awesome post.

cOoKiElUvR said...

Thank you Kandee, I'm so teary-eyed .Thanks so much for reminding me to keep being positive! Much love!

Beauty In My Life said...

You said it! I totally love you "things from the life". You r some damn right! Love you! :)

Modest Blessings said...

Kandee, your beautiful pearls of wisdom (no pun intended) have just given me a new ray of hope and sunshine given my current circumstances. Thank you for being the magnificently beautiful soul that you are xxoo

rOxy said...

i am in the edge of bursting out and giving up. my battle has not yet ended and maybe it's just starting. thank you so much for this inspirational post. somehow it calmed me down. i wish you're here to help me out and inspire me more. i wish more kandee lives in the world. maybe it will be a whole lot better world.

thank you!

Unknown said...

thank you kandee!! your blogs always help me a lot!! and now I know I'm not alone even if you live far away from here (I live in Italy btw!!)! the first thing I do in the morning is read you blog! it makes me feel good and happier!! I love you kandee!! :D

EnPointeLove said...

thank you kandee! i was so mad and upset because of some annoying and stupid stuff and you helped me realize how tiny those things are and put a smile on my face as usual!
thank you so much!

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Krisztixx said...

maybe you're not perfect but truly amazing Kandee! thanks so much for your wonderful words that encourage me and many others to deal with our everyday life imperfections :)))

Natalina said...

This post to me, is like a a letter from heaven. I needed this...thank you so much!

(my new blog! )

Unknown said...

I have bookmarked this page on my phone so that I can look at it when I am feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. You are such a beautiful person, kandee and I think your words are so inspiring. Thank you for being your imperfect self and thank you for sharing your life with us so openly. You are great ! :) <3

Anonymous said...

You're so inspiring, Kandee. I love you and thank you so much! :D

Boudoir de Beauté said...

You light my day!!!
Loved this post and hope I can put this on practice!

Have a great week!!!
Kisses from Brasil =*

katie said...

kandee, everytime something not so good or stressful is happening in my life, i can come to your blog and there is always a precious message waiting that relates to what im going through. i constantly feel like god is speaking to me through your beautiful uplifting words. you are so greatly loved by many and i know god will always provide you with love and fulfillment because you pour out so much to others. thank you endlessly. love your biggest fan, katie

Jan said...

This post of yours made my day!!

VAL said...


daily scoop said...

I just wanted to say, this was a very unexpected blog to read and it came at the perfect timing. The last part in bold really reminded me of what I am supposed to do in the situation I am in right now. Thank you so much, Kandee!!!

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