Thursday, August 12, 2010

I hate my job but found my soulmate!

my friend soulmate that is......
"I hate my job! I do NOT want to go to work!"...these things I would think every time I had to head into work. I would have a small anxiety start to build when I knew work was just hours away! This was long before I would spend 16 hour days on set doing make-up and more like working til' 3am as a waitress, cocktail waitress, or bartender...at a BBQ place, where I would leave smelling of coleslaw and hickory smoke, cigarette smoke...and BBQ sauce...mmmm!
I would have blank paper in my check presenter (The black little vinyl thing they set at your table with your bill inside!)...and I would jot down my business ideas...at the time it was for an online "vintage clothing and treasure website", that I  affectionately named, "Trixie's Trailer Trash", I thought it was a funny play on words and had nice alliteration  ha ha ha...(in my free time, I used to scour thrift stores, garage sales, and antique stores to collect clothes, trinkets, jewelry, ash trays (I've never smoked but love some 60' ashtrays), men's ties, anything from the 30's, 40's, 50's or 60's, tiki cups, clocks, tea cups, anything! Trixie's never took off, but did dreamily distract me when herds of BBQ lovin' folks filled up the tree-trunk bench seats on the hot patio where I would bake in the afternoon sun.
The best thing about that job, even better than the guy that would come in and tip me the same amount as his bill, was meeting one of my most treasured friends in the whole world and fellow-BBQ-smelling-co-worker...
this is my friend, Tamara...
she is delightful, creative, she is like joy in human form...she does things like, decorate my porch in a garland of colorful handkerchiefs when I am gone, and I return home to find a glass jar full of glitter which she has attached a piece of paper with instructions to throw handfuls of glitter in the air! Take heart if you hate your job....something special may come out of it - like meeting an amazing person like I did, heck, maybe you'll even meet your soul mate!
we would do things at work, like speaking in different accents to see which would make us more tips (ha ha ha) : southern accents earned big! She lives in Seattle now, and to know she was going to be a part of helping with my GLAMINAR there, was such a joy to my heart! And she took us to get the best ice cream I've ever had, Salted Caramel ice cream at Molly Moon's....I dream of this ice cream!
k
her laugh is like a song form heaven to my ears, she brings my heart to a place where I know she understands mine...we both shared our disgust for the restaurant we worked in...she has been with me through some heartbreaking times in my life. She IS like glitter in the air, life just feels enchanted...and I know that wherever she lives...it is probably filled with colorful little treasures and the most creatively decorated choices, like peeking in the window of Anthropologie ~ I know wherever she is is the most creatively, unique collection of adornments and decorations! She needs a show like a modern and cool Martha Stewart!

She twinkles....her heart shines with love...and she feels like a shooting star to me~you never see the shooting star as long as you wish you could!
I don't have many friends in my day to day life. I've always been kind of an independent, lone wolf. And sometimes have felt so out of place, and so does my sweet Tamara...you may be just like us too! Neither one of us likes talking on the phone, we've always felt weird for not fitting into what society sees as "normal", neither one of us likes the idea of 9-5 jobs, signing rental contracts for a year or anything that requires a claustrophobic feeling of inescapable commitment (ha ha ha) and we've both been told by someone close to us that we need to get a real job and all that bla bla bla....

I love her and I hope everyone has a precious Tamara like person in their lives...that does things like buy them handmade cinnamon and sugar shakers so that my little ones will say, "mama let's use our special cinnamon and sugar shaker on our toast! I love the small little fancy things we can celebrate in our lives....and Tamara is a kindred spirit....that twirls into my life and leaves a trail of joy and glitter.

I pray that I can leave a trail of joy and glitter in your day, path and life....
written with handfuls of glitter in my heart...i hope your day sparkled after reading this....your kandee

Letter to you:
To my Tamara....tears are swelling in my eyes as I type this: you are such a huge gift from Heaven above to me! I am so honored and thankful to have a friend like you. You have been with me, in spirit or in person, to hold my hand and my heart when everything felt like it was falling apart...(you see into my heart what I am feeling, like no one ever has before) I love you beyond human words and I can't even begin to express the joy in my heart for having a friend so like me and all my "weirdness"...thank you for taking that crappy job and Red's! You are glitter in my heart, not just my hand...I wish you could "hear" the tears falling down my face right now...I think they speak louder than any words I can type. I try not to be envious of the people that get to be around you...because I wish it was me, laughing with you, twirling, and  "so on and so forth".....hee hee hee
I love you the size of the sky...and so on and so forth. your kandee

38 comments:

CLeVerLYmE said...

so awesome! (im crying and sniffling a bit) :)

nateandtraci said...

this has nothing to do with your sweet post, but i've been watching your vids on youtube and loooove you! so, my question is: how do you justify using make-up that has chemicals/etc. in it? i know you are careful with your skincare, etc. but what about make-up? i have always loved make-up and when i got pregnant a couple years ago, i switched to the most "natural" brands i could find, often disapointed by their performance. i miss my mac, etc! what is your feelings on this? it's all being absorbed into our skin after all:( i guess deep down i'm looking for justification to return to some of my toxic faves... xo

Cara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine said...

awww i just love that letter, its so beautiful. I am so happy that you have her in your life, she seems like an amazing friend <3

I wish you were my best friend Kandee. I am alot like you, never had alot of friends and im mostly by myself. Think we could have so much fun together.

xoxo Christine

PS: please follow my blog Kandee, you are amazing and my inspiration <3

http://christineiversen.blogspot.com/

stacyaluthi said...

Very sweet!! I also have a friend that is glitter to my hand and heart!!!

kandee johnson said...

to nate and traci...I don't use any of MAC foundations, I only use the least "toxic" products, the natural ones just aren't up to par yet, I use Larenim mineral powder for face and love it...but I am still searching for foundations and concealers that are ok for skin. Some claim to be organic and still have harmful ingredients...it's hard and I hope more companies work on this, you can watch Nature's Knockout on youtube, they devote themselves to finding natural products! xo kandee

UneBelleJadore said...

this post was so sweet of you! im glad you have such a great friend who takes good care of you! lots of love :)

Thanaglim said...

I can proudly say that I have many friends in my life that I have loved as a sister but always wanted the best friend that was truly my soul mate as you described here. I am also like you and don't like jobs where I feel trapped or that I'm sacrificing my happiness to make a paycheck and feel if you aren't happy in your job you aren't in the right profession. I just blogged about this very thing a few weeks ago. I love makeup and love doing makeup but never thought of making it into a career until now but seeing as my husband has currently lost his job I now have to go back to a 9 to 5er job and that dream is on hold but I love your videos and your enthusiasm and encouragement to go after your dreams. Fear is the #1 thing that holds us back from living our dreams, lack of confidence and voices of discouragement, like the "get a real job" voice. Thank you for everything!

Noelle said...

That is so true ... it is such a blessing to find someone who is like your "soul sister" best friend. I love friends you can trust, who you know will help you out if you're in any kind of trouble. Tamara seems like the sweetest girl and I'm sure she has an inspiring story just like you do. Thanks for all your support and encouragement!
xoxo,
kandee fam lil sis

Noelle said...

If you have a minute, I'd love if you would check out my blog!
seeingbeauty.wordpress.com

CarmenSays said...

This has to be the sweetest thing i've ever read when it comes to describing a friend and how they changed your life :] Loved it, especially the surprises she leaves when she's at your house! Must put a smile on your face every time xx

Jeri said...

that was so loving and thoughtful

Val said...

I think you are awesome!! This post is something very special. You both are lucky to have each other!! Seems like you two bring the best out of each other!!!

emalyce89 said...

In the past couple days, I've come to find that friends can float on by, like the leaves in the wind. I considered my sister to be my best friend up until a few days ago. She said some horrible things about me to myself and other family members. This caused a very heartbreaking fallout and I sunk to the lowest point in my life. It used to be that I always had my sister and mom to lean on, but this one time I didn't. I spent the last three days in the hospital for a failed attempt at suicide. My cousin and a casual friend from college came to my house and found me unconscious. If it weren't for them, I would probably still be lying in my bed all alone and dead. Many people from my church came and sat with me while I was semi-conscious again. Them being there opened my eyes to let me realize that we aren't ever alone. Not only do we have God, but He sends us angels disguised as people who save us during those low points in our lives. I am so blessed to have those few friends...my church family and my cousin, AND that casual friend. I am glad that you always post such uplifting blogs. When I can't be with those people, I watch your videos or stop by your blog and find treasure in your words. You really are a beacon of light and you are an angel in disguise to many of us lonely-hearted people who love your works. Thank you, Kandee.

mandie said...

Your Amazing Kandeee!!!

Sooo sweeeet...

Hind Adib said...

Kandee, I loved this post so much, as I have a best friend which I feel the same way about. She is a gift from God. I love her with every bit of my heart.

She has an amazing heart and a very twisted/creative mind. She always writes and sends me her stuff, nobody reads those things except for me. So today I thought that her writings WILL save someone's life someday.
So I decided to make her a blog, design it, and post her writings anonymously (she is still not ready to face the world clearly with her name signed on her writings)

She refused the whole idea but I pushed her to agree, and now she is more than happy to see it on the web.
Her blog will hopefully reach to people out there, I really wish it does.

This is the blog, http://implicittree.blogspot.com/ I would really appreciate it if you read it, and maybe shared it on your blog. It would mean the world to me cause she will be the happiest person to see the good feedback, and it will inspire and motivate her to do what she loves the most!

Thank you so much!

Much love
Hind Adib xx

Heather said...

Hi! this has nothing to do with your post but I wasn't sure how else to contact you. I just watched your make-up on Micheal Jackson from almost a year ago and was wondering if you still had that costume... and were anywhere close to me.. lol! I am in beauty school right now and we are doing this big hollywood thing where we pick a model and dress them up as something. I want to do my husband as micheal jackson but he is red headed and doesn't really want to dye it or grow it out and we are on a pretty tight budget. just wondering if you had any suggestions! I know you said you got it at wal-mart but I was assuming it was a halloween costume.. so they probably don't have it anymore! my e-mial is Heather_May26@yahoo.com THANKS!!

LibbyLayla1984 said...

Kandee, This Post is so beautiful. I think somethings as much as we love our friends, it is very rare that we actually take the time out and actually open our hearts up and tell them how we truly feel. I am sure your friend Tamara's heart just grew twice it's size knowing how much she means to you.
xox

KDBUG said...

Hello Kandee. I actually just subscribed to your youtube today but I've watched many of your videos. And I have to say, you are an amazing woman. Always so happy, loving, talented and independent. Everyone has gone through some hard times, I'm very happy for you. You are still going strong and keeping a positive attitude. That's the best quality to have, and having someone to share that happiness with is unforgetable and can last a lifetime. I wish you luck in everythig you do and goals you wish to accomplish. You inspire so many people, including me. I look forward to getting to know you more. Have an awesome week!

*Kaylee Johnson*

Crystal.S said...

Kandee♥,
You're the glitter in my heart! Your encouraging words are singing in my ears every day of my life. I wish you knew how much I am thankful to have found a dear friend in you.

X♥,
CrystalS

Madalena said...

Hi Kandee, I'm brazilian, but I live in Portugal.I have a dream to meet you anyday.I don't speak English, I understand a little what you write, but I dream every day to the day when I watch their videos and understand everything. You're my inspiration...and I love the person you are. God bless you.

Magnolia said...

This was very sweet. There was a time when I thought this way of my former best friend, but sadly.. it just didn't work out in my favor. I hope to find a real friend/soulmate some day.

lovehopebeauty said...

Aww, That's so sweet! Happy, heart tears are falling from my eyes...
I was at the Seattle Glaminar. I remember telling you how I never felt like I fit in and I never had a lot of friends growing up. That used to bother me but now that Im older, It doesn't. I actually like to do things by myself. Whether Im shopping or putting on makeup at midnight just to wash it off again. LOL
I am very lucky because I have always had a "Tamara" in my life. My one bff is worth 1000 friends! She understands me, roots for me and she has always been there for me.
In high school I remember telling my dad's girlfriend that my perfect boyfriend would be a male version of my bff. She thought that was weird. LOL
Thanks for sharing your story.
<3
P.S. When I left the Glaminar I told your mom that she had the most amazing daughter in the Universe. (She agreed) and Tamara was right by her and she said "and I have the most amazing friend in the Universe!" (I agreed) lol. Too cute!

Mommafo said...

That's so precious :) You two are lucky to have each other.

bethanybryant50 said...

this makes me want to go and get a crappy job and see who i can bond with over it. I am exactly like you and sometimes think i will never find that person who understands me fully and never questions the wierd stuff i do. this sounds like a beautiful friendship and i bet she feels the same about you. I wish you both well and hope you stay friends forever. :)

thornbery7 said...

Today would have been my grandmothers 85th birthday... she was my Glitter.Oh my goodness im in tears here. I felt the happiness and joy in your heart. I can only hope to find my friend soulmate...i guess i have to let them in first huh. so afraid to because of past expereinces lol. I used to get teased all the time because I left a trial of glitter everywhere i went. I wore it EVERDAY. Because it was the only thing that could make me smile and be happy No matter the mood i was in. I Love you Kandee not only as a makeup artists but just as a REAL human bein. You are truly a diamond in the rough! You sparkle beyond the sun and all the stars in the sky. I Wish you and Tamara the best of Luck as friends. May you always have each other forever and ever and always...
much love and MAD RESPECT AND a handful of glitter!
Just a girl named
Francine~****<3****~

lilithgavrila said...

That was such a sweet post! Your friend sounds like one of the best. Oh, and I also feel claustrophobic about signing leases, especially for a year! You make me smile Kandee. Keep doing what you're doing.

Cheri xo said...

That was beautiful! It is always nice to let people know just how much they mean to.. Just in case they forget! :-) and also.. I believe I have hair similar to yours, very straight and very fine and sometimes very boring but just needs a little sprucing up! Well I have always been iffy about curling my hair and for that reason do not own a curling iron.. BUT I just started watching your videos which I by the way Loove! :-) & I watched the one on curling your hair with a straighting iron and I decided to give it a try and girl they came out GAWWWGEOUS ! :-) I was so excited! & they even stayed! All the way to this morning! Which is alot to say since I live in humid hell Louisiana! Lol My boyfriend went crazy over my curls! :-) I think he liked them as much as I did! So thank you very much! You made my hair a very happy camper yesterday! & I thought I should let you know! :-) your videos are very much helpful & appreciated! Keep em coming! You are very talented ! Thank God for YouTube!
-Cheri

Sheerilee said...

This is wonderful to feel like that about a friend. I take from you though to jot down ideas of anything I want to do no matter how small.
I am sort of a lone wolf too feeling different than everybody around me. I don't have a friend like this but have in my life. We just drifted a part when we moved or completed something like school. You have the right idea. However because of past experiences I don't trust people. You are fortunate and smart.

MissCarly said...

AAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!!I'm sitting here crying like a loser at my computer! That's so sweet, Kandee - I'm sure Tamara feels the same!! You're both so lucky to have eachother!

xoxox

Jackie said...

Kandee that was so sweet! I have a Tamara like person in my life too. I don't really have much friends in my daily life just my boyfriend and my one best friend. But they're so wonderful and precious to me i feel like they're all i need. I love knowing that it's okay not to have a big group of friends having one close person in your life is just as wonderful :D

anticutesisi said...

this post was heart warming, and it made me miss my best friend/soulmate even more than i already do. =[...She joined the marine corps a year ago and we've been apart since. All my other friends, and hers, come and go, yet she and i feel like we're mere minutes away whenever we get the chance to talk. Shes in Japan now, and i couldnt be happier for her. She gets to finally travel to places otherwise imposible =]. i worry for her possible deployment to Afganistan soon, but i know that she is head strong and has the proper training to be ok. Thank you Kandee, you always manage to make me smile and feel as though i know you. And i know i speak for all of ur fans when i say that =]

Love, Sylvia

Debbie देवी said...

Kandee, this post was SO REAL and touching, and I could really relate. Thank you for sharing this. ♥

Zizzi said...

Beautiful! I also have a kindred spirit. We don't live in the same city, but only 45 minutes from eachother by train or car. And we visit eachother as often as we can. I'm very happy to have her into my life. So much that words can't describe!

Jinxy said...

You're such a sweet person!

Jinxy
http://jinxybeauty.blogspot.com/

lauren said...

I find it hard to believe that you don't many close friends in your day to day life! I found your blog by accident about a year ago when looking for Halloween costume ideas. I was Barbie. I made my husband be Ken=). Anyways, I love reading your blog and watching your videos, b/c you're a little bit nuts, like me, but you're so uplifting to listen to or read and you're just a real person. I hope that your life is filled with joy each day, knowing that you bring joy to others.

Hugs!

Jamie said...

That is beautiful :)

lewistonya16 said...
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