Sunday, June 13, 2010

My dream is over!!!

Don't let delays, derail your DESTINY! 
(i heard this in church today.)
 So know matter what happens, that looks like it's the end to your dreams (you have no idea how you're dream will happen anymore), it could be the needed rest spot, on the road to your dream, that will make your DREAMS even bigger!!!

So many times I thought my dreams were over, but now that I look back at my "un-perfect" road to my dreams...I realize how perfect they actually were! Take a look at my dream-road timeline!

This is my crazy up and down, un-perfect path to my dreams, that I now see was totally perfect!

I dreamed of being an actress or fashion designer.
I get married at 17 find out I'm pregnant right before I turn 18....everyone tells me my future is over, now I'll never work in the movie biz!
I spend 2 years just taking care of my baby, but I'm in a verbally abusive and controlling marriage.
I finally leave, move home.
Go to beauty school.
Right when I graduate I get offered to work on a movie!
I love it!
Move to Hollywood.
It's hard being a single mom in LA, by yourself.  I only had my roommate or my childhood friend, Jim, to help babysit, while I worked on photoshoots and my restaurant job. I was paying $550 a month just for my son's daycare...and had to turn down jobs because I didn't have anyone to watch him.
After doing this for a while....I decide to move back to my parents.
Now I really think my dreams are over.
I meet a guy...we get married, I'm pregnant again. (Now I really think things are over.)
I work on photoshoots and tv shows doing make-up, all the way until I'm 8 months pregnant, and get offered to travel with the tv show, but I can't because I was due with my baby girl!
This marriage is not good either, we hardly knew each other when we got married.
I try to work any make-up jobs I can get....I had to have my husband bring my daughter, after I'd been there for 2 hours, to breastfeed her in the photographer's office...the client walked in and was like, "what are you doing?!?"...
My mom even drove her around so she would sleep on one photo shoot, then I would have to borrow the photographers car, drive out of the location, meet my mom, breastfeed my daughter, then when she was about to fall asleep, my mom would take off driving, and I'd go back to the shoot!

Right when we are talking about getting divorced....I find out I'm pregnant again! Oh brother! Now I'm really done with!!
I had a photo shoot for VANS shoes when my son was 10 weeks old...my mom was up in the hotel where we were shooting with my son while he slept, then I would run up and breastfeed him, and pump milk for my mom (the only time he ever drank from bottle!). This was really hard.
I get divorced.
I am a single mom, trying to take care of my 3 kids with no money from fathers....and I have no idea how I'm going to work, since my mom was moving away!
I prayed and asked God to find a way for me to take care of my babies!
My friend tells me about youtube.
I start making videos.
I realize that touching people's hearts means more to me than any of the dreams I had of being in movies or designing clothes, or even doing make-up. I wanted to make people's hearts over, I wanted to fill them with love and hope.
My dream had a very bumpy road, that looked so far away. I remember sitting in my little tiny house, that only had a few windows, was really old and dark, crying, thinking my dreams will NEVER come true! Sitting at my gramma's house with my mom, my 3 kids, after I moved out from my husband's house, crying, again thinking...I am NEVER gonna have any of my dreams come true.
But little did I know, that, all of that was getting me to the place, I needed to be to find my real dream...and the dream wasn't even about me...it was about all of you....reaching your hearts...pouring love into each one of you...and hopefully watering the garden of YOUR dreams!

Having my Glaminars..is so much more than just staring your make-up career, it's about lighting a fire in your heart, filling you up with hope, and filling your heart up with love and happiness to shine in the world!

Thanks you all for being my dream come true! Each and every one of you are my little dreams! I love you and I am honored to be a part of your life!
huge huge love, your imperfect-perfect dream path coach, kandee

92 comments:

ndoodles said...

You've been through a lot! And you are achieving your dreams... it is amazing. Very inspiring! Tears do water the garden of dreams. They show that you really want it. Thanks for your words!

brontee said...

Kandee,
You are an angel sent from God to make this world beautiful and pour beauty into the hearts of others. You are such inspiration and I'm so thankful that I came across your youtube channel a year ago :) Thank you for everything <3

Maritza said...

i love you kandee! I hope to one of these years be able to go down to one of your LA glaminars! I'm really reaching for that goal :)

As of right now! you've been so right all along about dreams! I just got accepted into the licensed vocational nursing program at my school! which is LOTERY based! meaning it's super hard to get into because they get over 150 applications and there are only 40 seats! <3

I hope your leg is doing better :) don't worry about how it looks!!!

Trishica said...

:0) I feel like we were on the exact same wave of gratitude.. I just sent you a comment thanking you for making my dreams feel like they are really reachable and then you post this! :0) Thank you for sharing, thank you for always being the little force within with your kind words of inspiration and thank you for lighting a gentle fire within me that pushes me and reminds me that the obstacles we have in front of us are really smaller then we think! You are a blessing and I'm so glad I stumbled upon u Muah! xoxo

caitlin said...

you're an inspiration, your story touched me and helps me see that through hardship, you can still go on! "the end" is really only the beginning of something new and wonderful.

oiadoreu said...

kandee i admire you so much, you are by far the strongest person ive gotten to know, after all you have been through and look where you are!! youre such an amazing person, i look up to you, and i cant wait till june 27th when i get to meet you!! im sooo excited, to tell you my story and even though im only 18, I can relate to some of the things youve talked about, and i just think we have so many things in common, and thats why I love you!
I am getting my glaminar ticket tomorrow morning, i am flying in from az just for that class, and i cant wait to get my career started!
Thank you for creating glaminars, w/o you, I would have never even thought of makeup as a career, but only as a hobby... with your videos you have encouraged me to believe that I have to follow my dreams in order to make them true, and you Kandee and your glaminars are the first step im taking to make them happen, and for that I have nothing but to thank you, and again i cant wait to meet you in 12 DAYS!!
<3<3<3

-Fernanda
far119@live.com

casey aimee said...

You couldn't have posted this at a better time.. I've been feeling so down about my future, I want to start cosmetology school in the fall but money issues are making it seem like that is never gonna happen. To top it off, I'm nineteen with only six months retail experience and it seems like no one will hire me.

Reading your blog always cheers me up, it's amazing how you stay happy and cheerful through everything. I've always been on the fence about what to do for a living, but you've inspired me to not give up my dreams of being a makeup artist. Thank you for this post, it means a lot. :)

ltabares said...

You Always Tend To Post What I Need At The Moment. You Are Beautiful Inside & Out! I Love You So Much & I Dont Even Know You. Yet I Feel Like Your My BFF! You Are So Inspirational! I Hope One Day I Have The Strenght You Have. You Make Me Want To Achieve My Goals With Your Kind Words. Thank You For Everything, From The Makeup Tips, To The Tips On Life!

Lahaina_Marie said...

WOW Kandee! Your one strong beautiful determined women! One thing I know for sure is that the world is a much lighter brighter place because your in it. And I thank your adorable momma for bringing you into the world. Your positivity and beautiful joy and sparkle is touching more people than you even realize. And when I wanna give up I think of you.. Hugs and aloha from Hawaii. Tons of love, Katie Marie

Heavenlypunkdesigns said...

You, your words and personality are simply just beautiful.

Life would be boring without all those bumpy roads and obstacles right?? Just makes us stronger :)

Jas said...

awesome! thanks for sharing that Kandee! you are an inspiration, and an awesome mommy! lots of love to your family from mine!

nini said...

hello =^^=

I think that mainly never giving up is the rule =^^=

hope you're leg is doing better =^^= to some extend I recognize myself in what you're going through ! I've nearly lost my left leg two months ago and before that Iv'e had an accident wich left some long and visible scar on my left leg :s I was worry just as you are now but after the physical therapy and taking my time things doesn't bother me anymore =^^= yeah I still have a weird way of walking but I know t's going to end up alright at some point =^^=


you're courageous , more than I am don't give up even if sometimes it's madening or scary because it will never go as fast as you wish


take good care =^^=
veronique

chelseaCraze said...

Kandee, you're a true inspiration to me. I love reading your blog because you are so positive all of the time. I'm so happy for you and you deserve it all.

The Rambler said...

you are def a gifted person, and you did try really hard. but i dont see this happening to me too. because i just cant feel motivated. seems everything i do is just meaningtless.

Mim Claire said...

You always have so much inspiration to share! I was actually reading through some of your other posts like this tonight, and it inspired me (there's that word again, lol!) to share a bit of my own on my blog, too. I have to say, it was most therapeutic (and about bleeping time, too)! I hope you never lose your desire to touch the lives of others! It's what makes you all the more special! <33!

mdlc5 said...

Thank you kandee. Thank you for sharing once again. Your words always help me reflect on my choices and hope for an actual future. Thank you

Lilydasupergirl said...

Oh Kandee!! I totally understand your struggle. It's how my husband and I have been dealing with life. Everytime we think we are getting that much closer, it seems like something gets in the way of that reach--and we have to start over.


**hugs** Like you, I believe that one day we'll get our good luck. :)

DaniB001 said...

I got tears in my eyes after reading it. You're amazing :)

dudeeitsdes said...

kandee,
You have helped me so much you don't even know. Growing up I was dignosed with depression and I have felt ugly,wothless,and very lost. But after I discoverd your channel and started doing your tutorials my self esteem raised so much and I no longer feel depressed or ugly. You are my hero and what helps me strive to overcome my struggles. I don't know where i'd be without your inspiring speeches and upbeat personality and your talent. You are amazing thank you so much<3
-Destiny

THE INTERNATIONAL said...

You have no idea how this has blessed me. I heard this message on T.V early Sunday morning, in my devotional and now on your blog.
I know I don't deserve it, but I know God's speaking to me and I've been wondering when my life would be more purposeful. I've always been someone with big dreams. So I've heard what I need to.
Thanks for being a part of this.
All the glory be to God:-)

Jelena said...

Reading your storie makes me believe that everybody, however can make his dreams come true! Thank u for letting me and other peopel feeling less hopeless!You are great and you are a wonderfull mother! I fell better when i look your videos or when i read something u rode its amazing u always help! THANK YOU! A big kiss and a big hug from far far away...

tati14 said...

I am SO proud of you..keep up Kandee, we <3 you so much!!!

sezz81 said...

your such a beautiful inspirational person! I hope your journey in life takes you down here to New Zealand one day - I would love to attend a GLAMINAR!

DanniiBeauty said...

What a great blog! I love testimonials - its so inspiring knowing how great others do. You truly are a great person and its all been with the help of god.
I like the saying - what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger! You are awesome and your kids must be so proud of you. They must be stunning kids, just like their mother!! God bless......

http://danniibeauty.blogspot.com/

Aseel A said...

Kandee,,
I take off my hat for you, You're an amazing person and importantly an amazing human being, cuz really, these days we can't say that any person is a human being. Believe me you have reached the hearts of people all over the world, here I am a Saudi girl and I respect you and adore you, you succeeded more than any so called Hollywood star. Your extremely beautiful and gorgeous inside and out. My dream in life is to be like you, you can never EVER imagine how much I look up to you, all my friends ask me where do you get all these ideas? I tell them in an instant KANDEE, do you know that my wish is to be your prodigy, hopefully someday I'll be as half as you.
Keep up and never ever ever surrender, you've reached the whole world not just the U.S <3

ShanniRafaellaColeman said...

Thank you because of you I am on my path to achieving my dreams. I would love for you to bring the glaminars to the UK. If this is something you would consider please contact me me and my partner have a sucessful buisness here and I truely believe Glaminars would be a sell out here. I am thinking 20 seminars over a week if you are interested please contact me I think 6 months prior of marketing if this is something you'd like to do I'd love to organise it for you I want nothing from it other than to be able to attend and I'd cover all the marketing.

Fleur-de-Lis said...

You are perfect example of a strong woman and so you must be faced as an example for all of us. I hope you have all your dreams fullfiled as you deserve. And thank YOU for bringing joy to our days with your attitude and smile.

SweetLady said...

kandee, thank you so much for your words! you´re amazing :)

rebeccabostwick said...

I just wanted to say thank you for posting that. You're so encouraging and uplifting!!! I'm looking into beauty schools for after I graduate. It's an hour drive there and an hour back, a full day if school, and I have to fit a job in there somehow because my parents can't help me pay for any of it. But I want this so, so much, and reading how much you went through makes me realize that my problems aren't very big and that it can work out for me too!

ERIND1212 said...

you are so an amazing mother! all i kept saying while i was reading this was "wow, she is awesome!"
you inspire me everyday to work harder and follow my dreams! thank you for being you! love to you!!!!

habiba said...

Dear God, you are actually passed a lot of that and still you got that smile on your face:-) You are living proof that everything in life is possible only if it really wants.
Your children can be very proud of their mom :-)
It is very difficult to follow your dreams when you have some other priorities in life but should not withdraw because it finally pays off
#Rich is a man who has dreams#
Sorry on my bad english
Love you
Biba
Bosnia

Kat said...

I've heard your story before, but every time I hear it again I admire you more and more. You are so strong and it's so great that you didn't give up on your dreams. There's no way they couldnt become true if you believed in them so hard! Thank you Kandeee for sharing your story with us - it must've been hard for you to do this, but you've inspired so many people! Every time I face something hard or impossible to do, I think of you and I know I'll do it. Plus, I smile immediately :D Have a great day Kandee!!

Katherine said...

"...and hopefully watering the garden of YOUR dreams!"
Not hopefully. DEFINITELY.

Shannon said...

I never get tired of hearing your story, dear. :) You're perseverence is so inspiring to me! Thank you for pouring your heart into all our lives! <3 you!

Mary said...

So inspiring. Thank you.

Kristy said...

Kandee,
You are amazing.. and you are the sunshine in my days. I have 6 kid 5 from a previous marriage 1 from the current... I was pregnant young with my first. Every one told me i should give up the baby.. because i would ruin my life.. I love all my babies and wouldnt change a thing. There have been a lot f bumps .
I still dream to someday do makeup and make money doing it. I never had support of my family and it makes it hard even now . Thank you so much for all your videos and all you post in your blog. you are amazing ! Thank you for all your positive posts. They make me think i can do it!!

Navibug said...

Dearest Kandee,

Thank you for ALWAYS being such a
real and honest account of what it is to go through such difficulty and pain, and come out the other side, whilst still remaining such a loving and beautiful person.

You encourage me so much...I have been crying; my heart-tub has been overflowing for years. I am going through so much pain in my life, and it has been going on for years and years...but you give me hope.

I know that you are God given, and you pour out your blessings through him. God bless you and your family xxxxxx

missria said...

thank you so much for blogging this. I felt like this last night, because my relationship ended with my bf of over a year. I love him so much and was so positive that he was "the one". I wanted to be one of those lucky couples from the 50's who only dated one person and then they married and lived happily ever after.

Your blog gave me hope while I was crying my eyes out and comforted me. Thank you so much for all you do.

missria said...

check out my blog its only post and really short...

missriarose.blogspot.com

francesca said...

this is beautiful.. i already knew most from one of your videos on youtube telling us your story.. its sad that u had a hard time reaching your goals.. but it also made you the strong, inspiring and beautiful person you are today.. thank you so much for being so sweet to all of us.. im sure you have changed more lives than you can possibly imagine :) i cant wait to be able to get to one of your glaminars and meet you and personally thank you!! xoxo

Aluma by Kari said...

IT'S ALL TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I use to give Kandee work last year and I felt so bad for her because I could feel her FEAR & sadness even though she was trying to stay so positive. She had to bail out of a few jobs of mine that I knew she needed badly but she had no way of getting there and no one available to watch her children. The first few times she couldn't make them I let it go but the last big one (last June) I was very pregnant and really needed her. I knew something wasn't right and that morning she called upset, car wasn't running right, and I had to do all of the work in a short amount of time. I had to let Kandee go as one of my make-up artists after that but I knew she had something special to offer. I knew something big was waiting for her. A few months later (like 3) I followed up with her and to my surprise, she had a huge following! It warmed my heart...even though her and I weren't working together anymore...she did what she could with her tools and made something beautiful. Now I can't get a hold of her! But you all should know...it's all true. She was stuck at home alone with three kids because she found the strentgh to leave her husband and she prayed for something better. She is brilliant and her mother is a beautiful gift walking this planet too. I have had the pleasure of working with her as well. And it's all because she stayed postive and cheerful with hope! That a girl! Kari

Leslie A. said...

I just found your blog and I LOVE reading it! I went back and read the whole thing from your very first post! What you do with make-up is wondeful, but the way you are touching people's lives it AMAZING! Keep doing what you do and I will FOR SURE keep reading!!!
:-)

Naoko said...

Thank you for sharing everything with us! I really think that you are a strong person, very positive and with a big heart (this is something we say in Spain, it's not about the real size, haha). You deserve all the good thinks that happen in your life! Keep smiling! :-)

olivejuicemomma said...

I have breast fed my 3 babies for a year each (still nursing my last, she is 10 months). I can't believe you did all that AND worked. You are an energy filled determined mom. I can barely find time to exercise. You are inspiring. You go girl!

princessofhlwd said...

Kandee,

I have been a big fan you since I first saw you on YouTube last year. I am a working makeup artist as well and I know how tough it can be out there. Its a tough industry. But I aprreciate your honesty. Its good to know that we go thru and feel the same way. I especially love your halloween looks. I valued allll the tips. I didn't take a speical fx class so I learned a lot. In this this industry we are always learning so I commend you for all the wealth of knowledge. You are a doll for sharing it all with us. Wish you all the best..

Kristi
http://academyofglam.com/

Naiyana said...

Fabulous! You are inspirational!And your story needs to be heard by all.
I just finish reading a book that I highly reccomend to you...it's your story...The Alchemist from Paulo Coelho.
And as a side note...I awarded you the Stylish Blogger Award.
Cheers,

VLM said...

Kandee,

I don't know you personally, but I'm so proud of you, girl!! Despite everything you have gone through to get to this point, you NEVER GAVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, and that is what COUNTS! You're such a wonderful human being and an AWESOME inspiration to me and many, many others! Keep being YOU, and keep doing what you do.

Much love and respect, from one sweet, goofy, loving Cancer to another,

xoxo

V

michelle v. said...

You write to us your struggle and how there’s so much more out there for us, how important it is to go through tough times, because that is what it makes us STRONGER, so many things! I don’t want to be this make-up artist that just does the job and goes home, I want to mirror the example of KANDEE and make people feel beautiful inside out. If a lot of us in this world would make that effort, we would be living in a peaceful, loving place opposed to all the haters that are always just so mean and awful! I realized, that my dream, this dream that I’m about to partake in, is not only about “make-up” (or whatever the dream might be) It’s about helping others, becoming stronger, having a positive outlook in life, giving our children the best that we can, having a loving attitude, inspiring others, and mostly having so much faith in ourselves, kinda like were unstoppable! Nothing is too hard, or far away from our reach, we can accomplish it! We just need the right mind set. And the heart. And hope. Kandee, you are the prime example of all these things. Your dream lead you to help others and inspire us. I don’t think you know how many lives you have touched! I think you fulfilled your dream x1,000 ! Trust me, you did! Your family should be (I know they are) SO PROUD OF YOU! You have left your mark in this world in a positive loving way! Way beyond a “dream” it’s a reality! That’s what I want to be, I want to use my dream and help others with their dreams. I want to help others realize that no matter what, we are special and unique, and the hard times are only temporary, and that we can too live happy lives, having no doubts and doing our best. I want to help show people that WE SHOULDN’T LET DELAYS DERAIL OUR DESTINY! Thank you Kandee, you continue to inspire. God Bless you and your beautiful babies and family =) They are lucky to have you , and you are the best at being YOU! God chose you to have this life because he knew you were strong enough to endure it, sent you little gifts along the way (your babies, your talent) and ultimately flourishing what he truly indented you to have, YOUR BEAUTIFUL HEART towards others. It is better to give, than to receive and the reward is GREAT. I KNOW YOU KNOW THis FIRST HAND. THANK YOU KANDEE JOHNSON!!! For you just being YOU!

michelle v. said...

WOW! This blog entry just blew me away! I have viewed your story on YouTube, but reading this just makes it more vivid and closer to reality than what I ever imagined and now I know why you are the person you are today, so strong and full of life, so blessed with tremendous gifts and the ability to inspire so many others like myself. Forever we are changed because of one person that is not afraid to come out and tell us her struggles and give light to hope, that there is a pretty rainbow on the other side, we just need to learn and see, that we are able to reach that unreachable place, whatever it might be. I know all this now, this past weekend I was super duper excited beyond my thoughts because you gave me the chance to be at the glaminars with you and all the other wonderful people attending, you know, a once in a lifetime chance, for me. I cant wait to learn and I cant wait to meet you! (Still excited!!!) BUT, beyond the dream, beyond just gaining so much from this upcoming glaminar, I realized there’s more to it than just launching our make-up artist career. Today when I read this headline “My dream is over” and continued with your story, I indeed understood what I’ve been trying to understand all my life and never knew it. I realized that in life we have dreams, but it’s not just about accomplishing them and then, the end. No! It’s about life, and our family, and most importantly ourselves. I spent most of my life taking care of others needs, whether it was my babies or a relationship or at work. I never stopped to do anything for myself. My Mother was the same way, and now I know why she’s gone to heaven, it was so much work! Believe it or not, my Mom is still taking care of us, even now that she’s gone! It’s true! We live in her house, support ourselves with her money (that she worked sooo hard for) and yet, she is gone, but its still taking care of us! My mom worked day and night and she had us (5 kids) to raise, as a single mom! Now, I see myself doing the same, I’m not complaining but it is hard! My mom was 54 when she passed and never took a break!. She always tried to tell me, “don’t be like me, go to school, do what you love, don’t let no one stop you“. The truth is, I do want to be like my mom because she was a great example. Kandee, I’m telling you this because you know my story when I sent it to you on Sat. but today, Monday, I realized something bigger. We live our lives dreaming and hoping, and yes, going through hard times and giving up and saying “MY DREAM IS OVER” I can relate to you when you say that it was hard having your kids and trying to work and live your dream at the same time, with no support from the husband, limited funds and just so overwhelmed. The best part of all this is that it lead you to us! Your Kandee family! You worked so hard, went through so many things and yet you still became this fabulous make-up artist (you truly are!) Became this awesome MOM! (we know you are and your kids know it too! Don’t let others tell you otherwise) Became a survivor (so victorious! Even after the storm!) and now, became to be our FRIEND, regardless if you personally knew us or not, regardless of what we look like without judging us, you speak to us like if we were your personal best friend!

mermaiddelsol said...

you're loved babydoll! xoxo ~patty~

thank you kandee for cheering me up everyday!

Laura Solomon said...

Kandee.
Like you, I had that 'bumpy road'. Mine also included 2 trial-husbands :) but I had SEVEN kids...
I read your blog and watch your videos and marvel at your honesty, enthusiasm and LOVE ++ you are one skilled lady.
I would love you to look at my site (www.wordofmouthconsulting.biz) and KNOW that if you ever need any marketing assistance- I would be happy to help you at no charge- because I think you are doing SUCH good work for SO many.
xox Laura Solomon

Laura Solomon said...

Kandee,
I too have gone down that 'bumpy road'. After two trial-husbands and SEVEN kids, I am healed and happily married.
I SO appreciate your honesty, love, mad skill and your willingness to share yourself and your story.
Take a look at my site, www.wordofmouthconsulting.biz. If you need any marketing help, I will be happy to do it at no charge as I believe you are helping so many.
xox Laura Solomon

Wendy Peralta said...

Kandee, you are an AMAZING person!


http://live-love-makeup.blogspot.com/

Kayvona B said...

That is great that even though you have been through so much you still survived and did what you had to do to get to where you are now..Very inspiring =]

osoreal said...

Your words are very inspiring. Your life experiences is proof that you can do anything if you set your mind to it. Congratulations!

Blonde Mafia said...

I love hearing your story! It helps me keep going and aiming toward my goals and dreams...How did you just make it through each day though when you were in those hards times? Thats what I have a hard time dealing with. I know things will get better and everything happens for a reason but a lot of days I just need HOPE or HELP getting through THAT day.
Thank You SOOOO much Kandee love

Bama Girl
KC

Melibrig- thestyleofliving.wordpress.com said...

Geez Kandee, you are such an inspiration! Your babies and family must be soooo proud of you!! I wish I had a friend like you in my life... Anyway, I recently decided to pursue my dream and forget about what other people want. I got rid of all my fears and ignore people's mean comments about not being "enough" or not being a doctor or a lawyer. I am an artist like you and love helping people, it's what drives me and makes everything matter more. You are a true role model and deserve everything that's happening. I believe in karma and that everything that goes around, comes around, so keep on helping others and life will give you everything back!!!! Have a great day!!! Cheers from Puerto Rico!!!

leahnoel said...

Thank you for your beautiful, encouraging spirit! I needed this today.

CYCO said...

IM SORRY for all the negativity i said to you, despite all the anger i had in me i dont think you ever had any intentions of hurting me that would be to easy for me to think and i dont want to take the cowards way out, if it makes any difference i never had a single ounce of hate towards you no matter how hard i tried

what i wanna say is iv'e been reading your blog so long that i feel like i live vicariously through you, that positive energy you radiate,i feed of it minus the girl stuff i can usually take something from your words, im trying to be a better person on a daily basis cause i lived so long in the dark doing ugly things

i dont want to sit in my pool of pain and wallow i know im better than that

i except your choices with no grudge

so if its ok with you i want to keep reading

Auti said...

We love you too Kandee! Thanks for sharing your story with us! Thank you for making your videos. I always watch them and they pick me up when I am having a bad day.

FaithHopeLove said...

kandee - your open ness, honesty and vulnerability to be just YOU, saying here I am , this is me, all of me, raw, pure and real - is what i love so much about you and what makes you such a great freind and allows you to connect to so many - to help others know its okay to do the same, to live the life God intended us to live, our authenic selves....you do this and that is one of the many many reasons that I am so glad to know you - even if via this blog. But I know in my heart that some day we will meet - my freind is moving to Santa Monica from the bay area where we live and I told also I was going to go visit her and meet you someday - and be able to give you a big hug and just say HI its one of your bloggers, ME - have a great day - and thanks for being you and lifting hopes and hearts and reminding us to keep belieiving in ourselves and that we are more beautiful than we know and when we fall or feel like things are over - it is not so, keep faith alive that God has better things in store - greater than we can EVER imagine - Stephanie

sarad4 said...

Love ya Kandee! You are the best and deserve only the best! You should listen to Caitlin Crosby, she has a song called imperfect is the new perfect(that last line in you blog reminded me of it haha)

erirubino5 said...

My dear Kandee!!!!! I can't believe that you choose me for the Glaminars!!!!! This is the happiest day of my life. I feel so identified with your story and with your words of your blog's today. I was feeling that my dreams were falling apart and I was so hopeless....and today when I got back home I couldn't believe what I was reading. You have no idea how grateful I am!!! You inspired me everyday and you've changed my life. I have no words to express my gratitude to God and you!!!! Can't wait to hug you!!
Eri Rubino e-mail erirubino5@yahoo.com

Nicolene said...

Hi Kandee,
I'm from South Africa and I LOVE your blog and videos. Thank you so much. What an inspiration!

Nicolene said...

Hi Kandee,
I'm from South Africa and I LOVE your blog and videos. Thank you so much. What an inspiration!

okruch said...

Kandee, thank you for "giving up" your dreams for us! You're such an inspirational person, thank you for sharing your big smile, huge heart and great kindness with us! God bless you and your family.

Katie said...

Hey Kandee
Thank you for sharing your life story so far with us all. It must have been challenging going back in time and having to revisit some of those hard times. Its those hard time we go through that makes us who we are today. Someone once told me that you will never know what a good time is until you have lived through bad times. This is so true and I use these words as inspiration when I am going through bad times. I just think that good times are to come and even though one door closes, another one is opening and going to change my path for the better.

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

With Love. Katie xo

wofgtg said...

Thanks for give a pure guidance for fashion. My family love this site.
Lot of love with you and your family.
http://wofgtg.blogspot.com/.

Jenny! said...

Kandee. Don't also forget that many of us live vicariously thru u and are overjoyed when things are good and sympathetic when they r not. U are a great inspiration and influence to many of us. No matter what there's nothing negative sabout that. Its all good :)

StephaniePlus1 said...

This is so right Kandee! Everything happens just like it is supposed to! I never thought I would be a mommy or living on my own with a husband at 23! I never wanted kids and now I have this perfect little girl. I never thought I would be into make up and look at me now!

Positivity is such a big thing and I'm glad people like you exist.

You are awesome have an amazing day!!

Bloggity

Avon from Fiona said...

Hey, have you ever thought of doing motivational speeches. I'd pay to listen to you. You're an inspiration.

Christine said...

Just created a blogger account :D
and i wrote a post about you <3

Hope your day is going great :)
xoxo Christine

Beata said...

Wow. As a "jaded" New Yorker, I thought I had seen and heard it all, but you are truly an exception. It's not just the hardships you've gone through, but also the happy spirit you've been able to keep (with a little help from family and above ;) ). It's rare that I find an inspiration, and you're just that! Keep going and stay blessed!

Stavroula said...

This brought tears to my eyes... you're such an ispiration! your kids are so lucky to have a mom like you!

andichan said...

Kandee, I hope your leg is doing better, and I hope your glaminars go well. Also, I really liked how your hair looked in the recent update video you made!

martha said...

I think you are a strong, young women with a lot of dreams and you can get there because anyone can do anything they want if they set their heart to it. your an amazing makeup artist and you will go far.
Martha Borowska www.academyofglam.com

LaBellaDonna said...

You remind me of myself so much. I am a Pastor's kid and got pregnant at 18. I thought my dreams were over too! I left the tiny town I was from and moved to LA and went to beauty school and became an Esthetician. I lived in LA for 5 years and then moved back to the tiny town I am from when my beautiful baby girl was ready for school. I was the "mess up" of the tiny Chrisitan school I had gone to for highschool and I was the REBEL in my town...my poor parents. But what was meant for evil God meant for good. My single mother years were hard ones...I was a single mom for 8 years...just recently got married in 08 and had another baby...a boy. I went back to makeup artistry...which is my passion and I am now trying to build my business. You inspire me to learn more and push for my dreams again...I used to be ashamed of my mistakes and tried to be perfect...now I embrace my testimony and share at my parents church and at women's conferences in my local area. We suffer for a reason...usually it is to develop strength and character..but most of the time it is so we can look around us and lend a loving hand to those who are hurting. You better to comfort than those who have been wounded. God bless you!!

Belány said...

it made me cry! I cannot even tell you how happy I am that your dream came true!!!!!! when you enter into someone's life you make it so much better and inspire everyone around u! love u soo much!

Angela said...

This is probably the best post I have ever read from you since it is candid and real. It's true; there are always rainbows at the end of every rainstorm. I think everything in life tastes much sweeter when you know how hard you've had to struggle to get where you are today. And the fact that you've been through hell and back, only then can you truly appreciate what you have. : )

You are inspiring in so many ways but I think the most important thing is that you never gave up. Success is an option!

I really wish you would do a Glaminar in Texas. But most importantly, what's next on your dream list?

love and sunshine,
Angela : )

erirubino5 said...

Dear Kandee, While I was reading your blog I had tears over my face! I feel so grateful for having you as part of my life and you truly are watering the garden of my dreams and you are filling up my heart with hope and love like nobody else never did. I have no words to express the happiness that I feel to have you in my life. I was feeling the same way a lot of times of my life and I can totally understand your sorrow because I am a mother and I was a single mom trying to put my life all together while I was taking care of my kids. Thank you for being you, to me the perfect Kandee!!!!

Ana said...

I am about achieving my big dream, well one of them....as I am a dreamer. I am going to be a Mummy in less than 10 days time and I cannot wait to hold my little baby daughter. I feel so lucky to have achieved loads of my dreams...I went though loads in the past too, meeting the wrong guys, but finally I met who is now my husband, and we are so in love and becaming parents soon. I have my degree and different courses and languages, but my dream was becaming a make up artist. I am graduating as a beauty therapist late this summer and I will try my new career, this is my project. All the rest of my dreams will come true in time too...I was looking forward travelling to NY this summer (I live in Ireland),but it won´t happen as my baby is coming soon! we will leave this one for next year, or maybe the next one...it does not matter as far as we feel happy and in love. xxx

Sarah Jean said...

This made me admire you even more. Thank you for sharing this - your strength and determination is inspiring and beautiful. I am so proud of you for keeping it going. You are a wonderful role model for women. xoxo

urzafar said...

your blog is such therapy for me. please don't ever stop sharing your experiences with us. thank you :)

hana said...

I love you Kandee!

You are truly my biggest inspiration in life. You have made me smile so many times, and you are so wise in your thoughts and advice.

I am proud to be your fan, and really happy you are a part of my life! ^_^

Alina Bourian said...

Love you, Kandee. Post photos of your children plz! :)

Ashleigh said...

KANDEE!!

wow Kandee, thats one amazing path you have been down! mine isnt that great so far eather but i wanted to thank you for teaching me, that its ok to follow your dreams and that everything happens for a reason.
you are one special person Kandee..
:D
take care,
love you Kandee.
"kia kaha"
means stand strong in Maori
love Ashleigh Lilley
From New Zealand
xxo

Laura Lu said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ARE SOO GREAT! THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT.I FIND MYSELF IN A SIMILAR SITUATION AND QUESTION MYSELF IF THIS WILL EVER HAPPEN FOR ME. BUT I WILL GIVE IT TIME. THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. XOXO LAURA

Kasia said...

Your story is amazing.
I'm now in a difficult situation. I wana make my dream come true. Now it isn't possible ;(
I must wait half a year and maybe then I could do something with my life.
Sometimes I haven't strength to fight :/ It's so hard...
Your story help me to believe that in the end I will be happy...I hope that will be soon :( because it's hard to hold on..
Thank you so much!

mary said...

I doubt you will get a chance to read this... but maybe you will! Your tough life was NECESSARY to your ongoing success and you are an example of why I truly believe we are always exactly where we should be (whether the situation is good or bad). Kandee, you've destroyed many stereotypes through your accomplishments and inspire many people to do the same..God bless you :)

rock star said...

What a touching blog! I was in a relationship with a guy who was screwed up mentally, emotionally and phyiscially. I got married to him at the agge of 21, I was a mother figger to two children that didn't have a real mother figger or role model. I had a misscarige and was in a very violent marriage. My husband did beat me all most to death, he chocked me 3 times and hit me with my own car.
I can relate to what you are saying my dreams came true in the most werid ways, I was getting music lessons every week and landed in the music business as a music artist, well known in New Zealand and had my own tv show. I am blessed to share my story with you may god bless you! xx

The StarShine Company said...

I just found your blog and this is the first post I read! I'm in love already!! You sound like a very special person and I'm so happy I found your blog... can't wait to read more.

Angelina said...

Every one I know always tells me that I'm the most positive person they know. I feel the same way about myself... until I fell upon your youtube and got to know you. I think the world definitely needs more people like you and I. Positive people. I don't have any kids but I was in a really bad marriage and I'm currently going through a divorce. I felt like even though I was 24 when I got married (now 25) at first I felt like it was because I was too young but then I realized it wasn't me. It was how we dealt with our marriage. I gave it my all in the little time we were married and he wasn't a positive influence for me. I also thought, will I ever find anyone more positive than myself that I can get into a relationship with?? I found a GREAT guy whom I think will be around for a LONG time.

You are a GREAT person Kandee and what you do for people is encouraging and very positive. Taking your own advice is always harder than giving it, but I'm sure reading comments from all of your readers are rewarding and uplifting. If you ever need to talk or yell or let off steam you can message me or I'm sure any one of your readers and we'd be happy to help since you've been helping us.... I hope this makes your pretty face smile! HUGS & LOVE xo
Angelina

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