Sunday, July 4, 2010

All My Children

these are my hearts....the greatest gifts I've ever been given...I'd lay my life down for any of my babies...and Jordan...was born to me when I was only a 18...his smile melts my heart, he has been my little best friend for years...my sidekick wherever I go, now he's as tall as me...and I still wish he could be the little boy that would curl up on my tummy and fall asleep with me...
I'll never forget the day I told him "you're the apple of my eye"....to which he replied:
"and you're the carrot of me!"....I love this precious lil man so much!
my precious blue-eyed princess, Alani...(My ex-husband has requested before our custody judge that I not show "upclose pictures of the kids or their faces" anywhere) so here's the most beautiful hair of my sweet 5 year old, that wants to be called, Strawberry Shortcake...her eyes sparkly with the glitter of heaven...she loves to dance and sing, and will perform a little song and ask if I think she should be on stage! To which I reply....ofcourse!
can  you tell how much she's like her mama...this is her Cupcake purse, with Hello Kitty keychain and Hello Kitty mints....and the red hair peeking out from the top, is none other than the scarlet hair of STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE! Oh and a  Disneyland Princess keychain is hidden under kitty!
and this is my littlest of men...my Blaker, who has his secret helmet, which consists of his blue "silky" pillow case that he takes with him almost everywhere...but his baseball bat is what's making it poke out all funny on his shoulder! He makes me laugh all the time, and then he asks me, "mama? me make you yaff (laugh)?"....yes you make me yaff!!! (this was him posing in great gramma's kitchen)....his eyes melt me!

I cried as I drove away after dropping them off at their dads yesterday...even though they'll only be there for a couple days...it breaks my heart, to know that they don't know the security of knowing they'll stay in the little routine of being with me, or knowing that they'll never have to be apart from me...I think, "this is not how I dreamed that my life would be"...
and I hear God speak to my heart saying..."your dream life is waiting in heaven...I will carry you and your little people on in strength"...
and tears welled up in my eyes...and I just longed to hold my babies in my arms...I thought that this must be how God feels...he longs to hold us in his arms and love us...and no matter what takes us away from him in life...he's always wanting and waiting to hold us and love us.
I will sit waiting...with tears running down my face as I type this....to hold my babies...
and I think of what I tell my sweet baby girl when she has to go to daddy's:
No matter how far, we are apart
I'm always there inside your heart...

"the greatest job you'll ever have is being a mom...nothing leaves a legacy like a little soul that was loved, adored, and loved some more ...awards and things will fade and be forgotten, but a soul is for eternity..."

huge love...and if you don't have a mama to adore you and tell you you're loved....I'll be her...."I love you precious eyes that are reading this, you are adored and cherished...go and have an amazing day today...and don't you dare let anyone ruin it! You're too loved!"....huge hugs, kandee mama

139 comments:

"L" said...

This post was really touching. Your kids seems really lovely. And what a great mother.

DanniiBeauty said...

How gorgeous! Kandee you are the proudest and greatest mother ever! You have done so much and are such a inspiration for your children! It must be heartbreaking to leave them with their father, a mother can never ever let go of her children! God is with you all - you are blessed and a blessing!!!!

scouselovesmakeup said...

Kandee this post is so wonderful! I know you must be such an amazing mum and your beautiful children must miss you when they are at their dads. Keep strong Kandee.
xoxo

S said...

http://i46.tinypic.com/23u3pf.png

you are all these things to me

.Serene. said...

i heart you! <3

qwer said...

Hi Kandee, I just want to tell you that you are an amazing person. I watched your IMATS and Glaminar videos, and you seem so down to earth, nice and not stuck up at all. And just now I spent around 4 hours reading your blog (for the first time ever) cause I was bored haha. I see that you've had alotta things happen to you this past year, and yet you are such a great person with positivity.

And to comment on this specific post, you have beautiful children! Good job on raising them-- you seem like a real great momma :)

Take care, God bless, and keep on doing what you do!! <3

Mika said...

OMG I thought it was one of the Jacksons, lol. What a gorgeous smile he has! Dear Kandee your son is sooooo beautiful!!
God bless you and your 3 little hearts <3

missmymoo said...

That's soooo sweet and made me so emotional after reading that ! You're a very beautiful person Kandee, God bless you and your babies !
Huge kisses from Paris ;-)

Paulina91 said...

wow you have wonderful children ;-) and Jordan will be so handsome man in the future ! ;-) huge hugs and love to you and yours babies ;-)

Meyke said...

I do have a mama, but thank you sweet Kandee-mama for sharing this post. The last part definitely made me cry and smile at the same time.
Thank you!!!!

Big hugs,

-Meyke

SweetLady said...

No matter how far, we are apart
I'm always there inside your heart...
These words are really nice! Have a nice day!

love ♥, SweetLady!

MelDaSel said...

take care kandee mama.....keep them in your prayers daily and they'll be find...your still their mama..God bless! :)

~☆~Marshmallow~☆~ said...

*hugs* Kandie :)


God bless you and your lil ones :)))

britt said...

so sweet! my mom talks about having felt the same way when she dropped my brother & i off at our dad's house. thanks for sharing!

Glamorouxx said...

There are too many cruel people in the world. But if at the end of the day when I am starting to fall a sleep and think about your kindness, love and precious smile, I think it is all okay! Love you!

My Hoppy Prace said...

:'o(

Augustine said...

Big hug Kandee. I understand you very much cause my sweet daughter is the apple of my eyes. Fortunately, I'm married and happy with her dad so I don't have to leave her but I can imagine your sorrow. You're right, God is like a loving mother, cherrishing and adoring and waiting for us.
Big kisses Kandee mama. :) Have a happy 4th of July!

Ari said...

Aww kandee :') Your have a way of writing that always gets me. Your kids are as beautiful as you and from what you saw they bring as much joy to peoples lives as there mom dose <3 Ari xo

DelicateRoses said...

i sometimes wonder how God truly crafted you? you are the sweetest, caring, funny, easy going, loving, person i've ever known...

i don't think there is an ounce of hate in you... unless its for those people that truly deserve it... but you are sweeter than the icing on you daughters cup cake purse...

and your children are the most beautiful little people... no doubt they will be as loving and caring as their beautiful mother!

Kelly said...

That was beautiful Kandee. I can definitely tell how much you love your children. Many blessings to you!!

Kitty said...

I love this post. I'm a mom too and this really touched my heart and made me cry. You're so beautiful inside and out. You are loved by so many. God Bless You Kandee.

Dolly said...

This was such an amazing post! It was full of love for your children. Don't worry hopefully you all will be together soon!

Lots of warm hugs and cheery smiles...Your friend, Fatima

Dolly said...

Kandee I forgot to mention that Jordan looks so much like you! I can see you in him...such stark resemblence! Love ya!

Even if he's as tall as you..he's still your baby!

Christine said...

Your precious little babies are so beautiful and Jordan looks alot like you :) They are so lucky to have you as their mom, and you are so lucky to have these beautiful little people <3
Im so happy for you Kandee <3

Love you Sweetie
xoxo Christine

~Tami said...

Kandee,

I cannot wait to sign up for your next Glaminar--I live in southern California--I'll be one of your oldest students but I have wanted to do this for a long time :)

First and foremost --take care of yourself Kandee--everyone adores you and you will make it through these tough times..

I am divorced with a son and though I have sole custody, this is something I always said to him from the time he was very little.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

Winnie the Pooh

lindsay said...

kandee, thanks so much for this post. my mother decided not to speak to me anymore (or allow me to see my brother sister) almost a year ago now and this really touched me.
you're a great person- keep doing what you're doing!
much love,
lindsay

LeeAnn said...

Kandee, your kids are beautiful just like their mama! Jordan looks just like you. He's very handsome! It isn't hard to see that you are a wonderful, loving mother. My husband and I hope to have a baby in the next couple of years and its inspiring to read how much you adore yours. Thanks for sharing! Happy 4th to you and the kiddos!

ifra said...

awwww...that made me cry too!!!! your babies are lucky to have a mum like you.....huggss for you and your babies!!!

heyachick said...

I cried reading this, you are a huge inspiration to me and to everyone who reads your blog. When I first came across you on youtube I thought I have never ever seen such an ispirational person to our generation. You are a modern day saint and I only hope I can be one tenth of the person you are and I know I will succeed and help others. You are stronger than you may know Kandee, your kids are beautiful just like their Mamma and they will grow up with such love, they are very lucky. When you are sad or feeling down I hope you know you have thousands of people out there you have never even met that are thinking about you and love you and have the upmost respect for you. All my love, always, Jen x x x

Samantha said...

Kandee I admire your strength! I am praying for you! I know this isn't easy on you! I love you!

portraitsbyjem said...

You are an awesome Mama that I can read. There isn't a lot of mothers out there that feel the way you do and some that do. I am not a mama yet hopefully I will soon. I love children so I am around my baby sister Jayleen who is 6 and my two wonderful nephews Oscar 5 and Sebastian 2. So I feel the love for them as if they are my own. I wanted to also say that I love your work I am subscribe to your youtube channel ( I have a channel too jeannie211985) and hoping with enough money saved to join a Glaminar. Keep doing what you do best and you will always shine in all our hearts....
XOXOXOX
Jeannette

Mangopie said...

Oh Kandeekins I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

AspenSummer said...

That was the SWEETEST thing I've ever read. Not gonna lie, definitely teared up a tiny bit. Honestly, Kandee, your words are the most beautiful and inspiring words out there. I hope you never let anyone bring you down because you always lift me up. I don't know you personally, but I still love you :)

Have a wonderful Fourth of July!!!

<3 Aspen

AspenSummer said...

That was the SWEETEST thing I've ever read. Not gonna lie, definitely teared up a tiny bit. Honestly, Kandee, your words are the most beautiful and inspiring words out there. I hope you never let anyone bring you down because you always lift me up. I don't know you personally, but I still love you :)

Have a wonderful Fourth of July!!!

<3 Aspen

Freddy and Mandy said...

Beautifully said. You truly don't know what love is until you hold those sweet little God given faces in your hands. Proudly apart of "TEAM MOM!" (And good for you for being so respectful to your ex. Not easy, but kind of you to take his request into consideration.)

iamjess03 said...

You're right. I had my son 7 weeks ago and I can't believe how much I love him.

seaprincess1 said...

I love this Post.. and your babies all all so Adorable.
As a product of a separated family, I can so appreciate the love you have for your babies and that You want so much more for your children. I appreciate how you want to have a home and a stable routine for your kids, and how you weep at being separated from them even if its for a couple of days, that makes You such a GREAT mother. Sadly there are so many moms out there that are too selfish to think about their children the way you do.. I will pray and ask God to help you establish that secure and loving home with your children here on earth.. I don't think he wants us to wait till we get to heaven to experience love, and the security of a Home. He has blessed them with such a great mom.. he will surely bless you and them with what your heart so desires.
LOVE xoxox sea =)

sophiesworld said...

i have a momma but i do love that message here ,thank you kandee.. :)
thank you for giving so much of
your soul and heart.
you're such an inspiration to us all
thank you thank you thankyou thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you


your lîttle girl has the most precious hair i've sseen ;)
your kids are lovely..they must be so happy to have a mum like you

hgs and love

from Sophie Luxembourhg

Kathryn said...

I wish you were my mother, Kandee... :(

Christina said...

This seriously made me cry, especially when you said how this is how God must feel about us.

-hugs-

parisheiress909 said...

Aw kandee! Another blog that touched my heart and made me cry.
Iam so glad I got to hug you at imats. It made my year! I was so embarrassed when my hair stole ur earring
But ur so sweet no matter what. I was kinda sad I didn't get to talk you cuz it was crazy with so many people waiting for u.
I just wanted to tell you thank you for always filling my heat with love and encouragement. I truly believe god lead me to you.
Because September of last year I found out I was expecting and at 19 happiness is usually not the first emotion that comes to you.
I was scared to say the least, I was in my second year of college to be a nurse and I was there only because my family told me that was a respectable career
My dreams were to do makeup and hair and make people feel as beautiful on the outside as beautiful as they are inside. I was fascinated how a little blush and mascara could make people more outgoing and be more confidant.
But my family always said makeup isn't a real job and I nEed to stay in nursing...truth be told I hated it and one day searching through youtube I found this gorgeous girl who had a little voice but a big heart and I thought she was just like a real life disney princess haha
And it seemed as if she was only talking just to me telling me to follow my dreams even if I think their so far away. So that week I dropped out of college and enrolled in a beauty school.

I finally woke up everyday excited and happy. My family soon found out and was and still is very upset and disappointed in me.
But I felt like my daughter who was calling my tummy home would be proud of her mama.
As my tummy got bigger my circle of friends got smaller but u were always there to make me smile and keep encouraging me to keep following my heart.
And slowly all my friends disappeared 30 invited got sent out for my baby shower but only my mom and two of her friends came. I cried for most of the day but I felt better because I always had u and I kno u would of been there
And as I thought things couldn't get worse my boyfriend was becoming very distant and when I asked why he said because he finds pregnant girls unattractive.
My heart has never hurt so much. But again I would go and read miss kandees adventures and thoughts and words of encouragement and u some how made me feel better and made me slap a smile on my face for my daughter.
You are so amazing and u are truly my best friend.
U are my role model and someone I hope my daughter will look up to.
I wish I could be a kandee assistant for a day.
I feel like u have so much to teach and share.
So if u ever need helping hands iam here. I live In LA so iam always here :)
But thank you kandee soo much you've given me more than you can imagine.
I love you.
:)
<333
Ashlee

Tiffany said...

This is so sweet sister! Jordan is so handsome!!! He really looks like a teenager now! I love your kids!

Tell them Auntie sends a big smoochie woochie!

Love you!

CarrieA said...

Hi kandee,

I just want to tell you that you have a heart of gold and the love you have for your life and children is amazing. God is using you in a way that most people will never understand. You honestly inspire me everyday to keep on keeping and to keep my faith in God strong. You are living proof that we as mom and women can make. You are a blessing and I love reading your blogs and watching you on youtube. I wish I lived in LA so I could go to one of you glaminars. I hope to one day. Thank you for being such a great person :)

LuckyVixen said...

Thank you I needed to hear this today :)

Ginny said...

the kid's thing is so sad ... no reason pops in my mind for the separation of you and your husband:/ its so sad living that way :/ and still you have always a smile on your face !! you are amazing !

cristynmakeup said...

hi kandee! i just want to tell you how much i loved this post. i am divorced and currently having to deal with leaving my little man with his dad:( its so hard. the last part of your post just brought tears to my eyes. thank you. you are a great mom. i love all your posts :)

Marla Singer said...

Your son Jordan is so handsome Kandee. They are lucky to have you as a mother.

camille said...

i've never been so moved by any other blogs before. i waqsnt able to help it and cried my eyeballs out after reading this. i'm going through some rough things right now and reading your blog inspired me and gave me hope. i am so touched. thank you for sharing this. you inspire me not only through your physical beauty and how you carry yourself but also emotionally. you are so beautiful inside and out!

Deborah said...

You have such a beautiful soul, Kandee. And your son is gloriously beautiful as are your other two "hidden" ones. :-) They are SO blessed to have you as a mother and we are blessed to know you.

connie said...

You made me cry ! your words are so kind, i have never known someone to speak like this, i thank you.xxxxx

christina said...

i've never left a comment on your blogspot, but i think youre such a beautiful person inside and out. reading your blog everyday makes me happpy (=

Rosy said...

Hi Kandee

Gosh girl you had me with tears in my eyes reading this post of your children. First of all your older son is so handsome girl, he looks alot like you. The pretty smile that brights up any room. You know it does suck to have to drop off your kids..I go through that with my lil girl and everytime I get so sad, I find my self calling to see how she is doing, She is apart of me..MI VIDA

hopstar72 said...

Hi Kandee I have been trying to write for a little while but just am not sure what to say. I'd like to say 'thank you' for your post and your you tube blogs. They are wonderful.

I used to be glamorous but gave up wearing make up doing my hair since I had my little bubba (over 3 years a go now) but watching you has made me interested in putting aside some me time and applying some make up and doing my hair. I am relearning how to be glamorous through your tips and tricks. It's wonderful!!

The first time I put my full make up on I drove my little bubba to daycare and went to get her out of the carseat. She looked up into my face and pointed to my lips and said "Mum-Mum you are a beautiful lady. I'm so proud" and started babbling happily about "beautiful lady"!!!

Anyway...I thought I would share the good love with you as you share all the good love with us.

I hope you're leg is healing well and you rest up well so you can post more blogs and videos:)

Best and Kind wishes ~ Chanel

Riverspitter said...

Kandee, you're right. Our dream life is waiting for us in heaven and is more amazing than we can imagine.
Hugs<3

mayo76 said...

Thank you sooooooo much kandee.

You just made my day.

Huge kisses and hugs.

Naun said...

awww, this an amazing post ! :) you made me cry a little bit, but it's ok. i just found out recently that i'm expecting my first (and maybe only) child in my 30s. i've longed for this my whole life ! can't wait to be a great mama <3

Makeup Geisha said...

kandee! i absolutely loved this post! nothing else comes close to being a mother and truly is the greatest gift. my daughter is named alani as well! i gave birth on april 25th of this year. hope you are enjoying this 4th of july with your loved ones! ;) xoxo.

Roxanne said...

My eyes got all misty reading this. Thank you for sharing your all your heart with us! I am touched!

natmiller27 said...

Sweet posting...u seem to be a very careing, loving mother. I bet they are proud to call u mommy!!! U are such a sweet, opened hearted person; I wld love to meet u on day!! May God be with u and ur little ones (:

felinesxhugx said...

My baby is away on VANS Warped Tour 2010. He plays in a band, he’s 23 and this has been the farthest he has ever been away from me. We’re in N.S. Canada and today they just left Dallas, the tour started in California. He still lives at home as well as his brother who is 20. I’d like them to live at home forever.
Thank goodness for text messaging and facebook… I can sort of keep in touch while they’re on the road.

Janet

Sasha said...

That's the sweetest thing that I have read in a long time! Your words are a ray of sunshine :)

Araceli said...

Kandee you made me get a knott in my throat. I live with my mom my mom left my dad when I was 8 years old I'm 21 now and everytime I see my friends (or anyone) and they talk about their dads it makes me sad that I never had that, and how its not what I dreamed of. Even if its hard to drop them off at their dads, atleast they have a dad that wants to spend time with them. your kids have a beautiful heart and have a great mom. I know youre not my moms again or anything but every time you write loving words at the end like if you don't have a mom I will tell you that youre loved.
I really have huge love for you
much love
Araceli

mdlc5 said...

This is the most beautiful blog.
I feel the same about my lil Celeste. Being
A mother is the greatest gift. Whether it be biologically or by adoption... Just being a mama and teaching little hearts to grow up with even better, bigger hearts is the greatest reward.
Your kids look so happy. Ur a great mama Kandee Jonson.
Thank you for this beautiful blog
<3
Margara

Panda, Panda! said...

Hi Kandee,

It sounds like it's very difficult to have to drop off your kids at your ex's for visitation. You sound torn and heart-broken that it has to be that way. And that you didn't imagine it like this.

It takes much strength to try to live the life that you want to live and still have the energy to work with what you get even when you are not happy with it; as in the situation with your ex.

Strength comes from many different places; the love for your kids, the love from your kids, your family and your personal characteristics.

Looking from the outside in, it seems to me you feel some peace knowing your children know you would do anything for them, always be there for them to the best of your ability, and sacrifice your own happiness and even your life for them. This seems to be the case in that you are respectful of your ex's wishes of not photographing their faces- although it seems you would love to show them to the world.

I have never met you and you don't know me, but you seem like one of the most giving and loving people I have been lucky enough to know.

Just some of my thoughts.

Beata

Lizzard said...

oh kandee you are just the most preciuos sweetest woman ever. jordan has your smile and i imagine all of your children do. i really love the last paragraph in this post - it really touched my heart, for i have a mama and she is so incredible and obiously the best mama ever - as all mamas are, but what you said was just so perfect for someone who doesn't know a mother's love. nothing will ever compare. i love you kandee, you always make me smile :)

sadia_flames said...

Aww thats so touching and your Jordan looks a lot like you! You are an amazing mum. God bless you all honey!

sadia_flames said...

Aww thats so touching and your Jordan looks a lot like you! You are an amazing mum. God bless you all honey!

Kerry said...

they're gorgeous, you're so blessed! xx

Sookie said...

gosh you're making me cry :( I love you Kandee<3

Jamie said...

I feel so happy to have someone be able to speak for me. To understand my pain and tears and be able to verbalize them so much better than I ever could. I too, cry every time I drop my daughter off with her Father. I actually feel physically sick a few days before. Then, the day I get to pick her up my heart feels a little lighter and I am full of joy. I too, have thought, "This isn't how it was supposed to be." I struggle financially, and it is a challenge, but I have really learned to enjoy being a single mom. I get to concentrate all my love on this little person, without drama, jealousy or negativity. Thank you for letting parents like us know that we're not alone, and I hope that our comments back to you let you know that you are not alone either. XOXO

NOVA said...

I did actually let someone ruin my evening. Then I thought: "Maybe Kandee has something to say about this". And you did... I cry happy tears now. Thank you God for speaking through Kandee!

PS: I took my evening back. Forgave and smile :)

Wendy Peralta said...

I love this post so much.


http://live-love-makeup.blogspot.com/

DumGuyzAnnoyMee said...

that was truly heart touching kandee. it made me feel like someone knows how i feel when i have to send my little one to her daddy's. i always know she'll come back but it is hard. thanks for letting me feel like im not alone =) ur kids have a momma who is beautiful inside & out

Noemi said...

Kandee I never understood why my mom would worry about us so much even if she knew we were at a safe place...but now with my daughter i see and feel the same way...you are an amazing mother....:) much love

selenity luz said...

I heart you, Kandee!!!

MC-SPECTRUM said...

Kandee,
Your son is such a handsome boy, and your other two little ones are adorable I'm sure! It's nice to hear that you have so much love for your children. They'll never forget how lucky they were to have such a caring loving Mom in the end. :)

ilymylilmonkeys said...

i love you kandee, you have such a kind heart and soul. This made me cry. I have 2 kids of my own. Im not very old. just 20 years. i know young but things happen i guess. its really hard being a mom so young. but reading this post makes me feel so refreshed and ready to be an even better mommy. i love being a mommy, i love seeing their little smiles, checking in on the 1000 times a night to see if they havnt fallen off their bed, make sure they arnt too hot and still breathing. kissing their little heads whie they are sound aleep. preying with my daughter at night. she is 3, my son is 6 months. letecia and liam. i love them with every inch of my soul. thank you so much for posting this blog kandee. your such an inspiration. oh i just wanted to tell you that. you were the 1st guru i ever watched on youtube, and when i seen you i know i had to of watched all of your videos in one night. i was so star struck by you, your youtube, your knowledge about things. and your were just the sweetest person. i am in love with make up , but i really have to send a big thank you and hugs your way, becasue you are the one who inspired me to start my youtube as a beauty guru, im surley not as good as you, but the more i go on im sure i may get there one day. well enough of the story hehe

hugs and love, jessica

MoniqueGisselle said...

Oh my goodness. This post was so precious. Kandee you're such an inspiration to me. I always look forward to a new post or a new video. I love you Kandee Mama. I know that you are the most amazing mother in the world. xoxo Monique Gisselle

prab said...

Jordan has your lovely smile!
the kind of smile that brightens up your day :)

beautiful post..
the only thing that's worse than not having a mother, is having one, but not having her at the same time. I know.

Lira_Glam said...

hi kandee, i hope by now u have ur lil ones home with u. i know exactly how u feel, i have a 6 year old daughter who goes with her dad every other weekend and is gone for 4 days :( it is the most painful feeling to have to leave your children and not know how they are bieng treated or if they will miss u and feel alone. the thing i find most painful is not being able to tuck her into bed at night.ive been doing this for 5 years now and the feeling never changes, i still cry as i did 5 years ago. im sorry that you have to feel that way, im sorry things couldnt be different. I pray that every time your children are away god watches over them for you and mends your broken heart. love you nicole

LuLuLisa303 said...

your kids are the sweetest

melissa. said...

you are the sweetest person everrr! i know you have the strength to get through being apart from your babies...they seem wonderful :D i love you. thank you for being an inspiration to all of us :)

killakellie5 said...

I really hope you know that your postings touch ppls hearts kuz they do mine :) I love your videos lol! Wish you & your familia many blessings ;) xoxo, Kell

Kate Gene said...

Jordan is a good lookin' kid, Kandee! And your other little ones, without a doubt, are equally as precious.

My husband and I have been together for over 10 1/2 years, and we are ready to have little ones. At the moment, we are unable to (for various reasons), but look forward to it. For now, our fur baby is our baby! (He's quite the handsome cat, might I add. LOL!)

Thank you for sharing your family with us!

okruch said...

Oh my gosh, Jordan is soooo super cute and he looks a lot like you! What a handsome and grown son you have! Beautiful little princess is so sweet and she wants to be like her mama, and Blaker, the amazing little man is so fun! Jordan, Alani, Blake - be good to your precious mama!

okruch said...

Oh my gosh, Jordan is soooo super cute and he looks a lot like you! What a handsome and grown son you have! Beautiful little princess is so sweet and she wants to be like her mama, and Blaker, the amazing little man is so fun! Jordan, Alani, Blake - be good to your precious mama!

almost famous said...

Kandee Johnson you are amazing and you made me smile :)

naoise.x. said...

Kandee-
Your kids sound beautiful and your oldest has the nicest warm smile! =]
The last paragraph of your post had me in tears. I dont get along with my mother and I know you dont know me but it just made me cry and feel alittle better after everything thats been happening in my life latly.
So thankyou.
stay strong Kandee.
love.x.

Boyana Mileva said...

Thank you for being there, Kandee! Your post helped me a lot today, it's very touching and beautiful. I'm sure your sweet kids adore you and are very happy to have you as their mama! My day is better because of you, so thank you for being you!

Sam said...

i wanna be a mommy like you! or have one as loving! i am 18 now and i dont want o have kids yet. but when i do i want to love them like you love yours. =D

p.s. your ex husband sounds like an ass.

shavone said...

so sweet kandee I don't have a mom to love...But you have to be the coolest mom ever!

Kandee said...

Beautiful post!

veronikabliss said...

"mama? me make you yaff?" LOL.

Omg, I love that - your kids are sooo cute! Thank you so much for sharing. That is definitely one thing I love so much about you and your blog/youtube. You are an amazing makeup artist and so pretty, but you are also so much more than that. Some other beauty blogs are just about makeup or beauty products, and after a while, it seems so superficial and shallow. And of course, there are all the nasty comments and the online dramas they start - and it gets so catty and even more shallow.

I love that you care about beautiful hearts too. :)

Wuv you!

Happy early birthday XOXO

This Soldier's Wife said...

Awe, Kandee it won't always sting like that. Your kids love you no matter what. Smile! They have a mother as awesome and fantastic as they are!

Amber E 1993 said...

heyyy kandee <333 i've not really had a mum most of my life but i have just started to talk and trust my mum now and i'm 16 ... i just wish i had a mum like you when i was growing up .. but at lest i have my dad :D loveee youu <333

vs said...

I really miss your adventures in kandee land blog! But we all understand the deal with your ex-husband. No matter, we enjoy reading about them anyway. Lots of love to you kandee mama

Kyndal<3 said...

Kandee I cried and cried over this post. Your blogs always touch my heart and you know that you make such a huge difference in my days just with your words!

Lots of love and well wishes.
Kyndal

liz said...

Aww Kandee. You're such a sweetie. Your kids are precious. God bless yall.

Angie said...

Happy Birthday Kandee! Am sure u r an awesome Mum! big Hugs!

Kaushi said...

Kandee you are just beautiful inside and out !!! your kids are lucky to have you !!!!

贍儀 said...

(Happy Birthday) I am sure your kids also love you soooo much. ^^ (July 9, 2010)

Emma ;p said...

Hi kandee! :) want to wish you a happy birthday!!! / Emma, a fan in sweden

Kala said...

I love you Kandee. I'm so sorry for the struggles you are going through and I'm praying for you. Huge love back from Kansas, Kala

SelinaDivaMUA said...

You brought tears to my eyes as i read this.... "I thought that this must be how God feels...he longs to hold us in his arms and love us...and no matter what takes us away from him in life...he's always wanting and waiting to hold us and love us. I will sit waiting" because it is sooo true as we walk away from God daily he just sits an wait I dont have any kids but my niece and nephews are my world. God longs for us to be in his arms. Just always remember Jeremiah 29:11(NIV)For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.I just subscribed to you today and to read your post brought tears to my eyes. God is so good, and through our storms he brings ppl in our lives to show us himself. (yeah i may not know you but i believe what you wrote above was something i needed to hear.)

ashley said...

Kandee. you are an inspiration to me. as a twenty-three year old month of three toddlers I sometimes need that little boost to keep going. I want the best for my kids and sometimes it's hard to do that. Thanks for all your kind words, and all the motivation you constantly give me. hugs XOXO
Ashley

Jessica said...

My mother hates me. She's been abusive all of my life.

Thank you for your kind words and for loving your children like a mother is supposed to.

j said...

OMG Kandee you make me cried, I cant imaging how hard can be, I have a son and I understand how you melt when you look at their eyes and how much you love them. I really wish you can have them w/ you. Thanks so much for showing us strengh. I wish you can read this email, to let you know again that all your fans, including me, we love you SOOO MUCH! And I idmire you even more I did 5 minutes ago. Keep been a WONDERFUL person, I know your kids know that! =)

thaicatty said...

Stay happy like u are now and everything is gonna be kind~~~ nth can break the bond between a mum and her kids~~~

CountessAleena said...

oh Kandee. you made me cry. I'm a mom too and I know exactley how you feel

emmily1987 said...

kandee,
you are such an awesome mom! my parents were divorced and i had to go back and forth, and you know what? i turned out ok! as long as your children know how much you love them, thats all that matters! keep up the good work love!!

Kala said...

Hi again Kandee,

I just wanted to let you know that right after I left my last comment, I said a prayer for you and your children. Immediately, I felt tingles all over my arms and upper back. I know God heard me; I could feel Him on my skin. Blessings are coming to you, I just know it. I just know it.

I don't know if you've ever heard of Beth Moore, but she is an incredible woman of God who writes amazing bible studies and books. I think the two of you would make an awesome team... she likes lipstick too :) You should read some of her stuff!

Love, Kala

loreta said...

This is totally crazy..I just have to say that I've always questioned myself about being a mom..I was Preg about a year and a half ago..and lost my baby at 6 months..tmi, im sure..just saying that you've helped me make up my mind about being a parent.Thank you..not only do i drink cod liver oil now, cause of you..I'm going to try and be a mom again.Thank you, Kandee

elsita72 said...

Thank you for the inspiration, big hugs from Australia. xxxx Elsita.

kristine said...

i <3 kandee mama

TheRaidstar said...

This made me cry so much, My Mum was killed in a car accident 18 days ago. "your dream life is waiting in heaven...I will carry you and your little people on in strength" I love that quote or whatever you call it. Thank you xx

TheRaidstar said...

This made me cry so much, My Mum was killed in a car accident 18 days ago. "your dream life is waiting in heaven...I will carry you and your little people on in strength" I love that quote or whatever you call it. Thank you xx

Crimson Malice said...

Touching....your children are precious to you and I can see that. Jordan has your contagious smile... Kandee you are the best!!! xo

Amanda said...

Your babies are so lucky to have such a positive, outgoing, strong, beautiful mom that loves them with her whole heart and soul :)

olivejuicemomma said...

Wow, Kandee! What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing a bit of your heart about your babies. I know exactly how you feel. I have 3 babies and I feel so blessed that I can be a full time stay-at-home mom. You are a great mom! Cherish every moment with them. Don't worry about cleaning or anything just have fun with them when you are with them. God Bless, Erin

hiro2557 said...

omg kandee... u just made me cry...

i too am a young mother (i had my daughter when i was 16), and i know all too well the crazy-strong attachment one can develop with their children. and its such an awful feeling having to leave them anywhere, if even just for a minute. (especially if its against your will and theirs)... just a couple of days ago, i dropped my 10 year old to summer camp for the first time ever. and i tell u, as soon as that bus drove off, my tears fell..

so this post truly touched me.

and your kind words at the end are so lovely... they probably mean the world to somebody out there.

kandee, you have a beautiful gift and a kind soul. never stop what you are doing or change. ever.

tker and god bless. xoxo

Kristine said...

you are such a wonderful mom and you have blessed with beautiful kids.

stephanie said...

This was touching, my mom passed away 2 and a half years ago, so thank you for that note at the bottom. You are a great mother. I hope your children will never take you for granted, because I did, and now she is gone.

Zizzi said...

You made me cry. Not because I am sad, but because you're such a sweet person. I'm sitting here, at work, not working, but reading blogs on my computer. And all I can think of is that I want to go home to my family! My 2,5 year old son, my husband and my 3 bonus kids. But I have to be at work for 9 hours (1 hour lunch). The people that I work with doesn't understand that I get half an hour late every day, because I have to drop of my son to daycare. So they complain to the boss "why can she come in late and go home at the same time we do". So now I have to sit here, at work, all alone and just wait for the clock to allow me to go and change clothes. I love my son and feel guilty that I can't spend enough time with him because of some ***** (swedish bad word) people. Love your blog and you! Hugs from sweden!

G said...

i love you your so cool and awesome and i think your son jordan is so cute how old is he? im 13 lol and i love your style and your an inspration to me to never give up on anything and you look so pretty and i love everything about you next year i want to meet u at imats

mlwspider said...

Kandee this is the most heartfelt/sincere thing I've ever read...and I'm glad I read it a little late. Today is the day I really needed it. thank youuuuu!!!!! xxx-o

Jamie-Lea said...

You are truly amazing. That did indeed make me cry. I know that wasn't your intention but with such heart felt word its hard not to, who can blame me? You are very blessed to have your children and they are very blessed to have you. I thought my mummy (Yep nearly 21 and I still call her mummy) was one of a kind but as I came across you videos and blogs I've come to realize there are more saint out there then I thought. My mother gives endless love to all as do you. she was my only inspiration. Now I have two, you're a very big inspiration to me, fellow youtubers, young ladies and mother.

Thank you and god bless you and your family

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Mommy Apprentice said...

OMG!! This post totally made me tear up! I have 2 little boys. Luc is 1 month old and Zac is 21 months old. My heart has gotten infinitely bigger since becoming their mom.

Christina said...

Kandee,

I know. I really, really know.

My Mom is in the same position as you are. Just remember the Lord is our strength and our defense. It's hard (SO hard!) to let go and give it up to God. But that is when the best things in our life happen. I am so thankful for my Mom's sweet prayers for me while I am at my Dad's. Right now I am at my Dad's, thousands of miles away from my Mom ( the best friend I could ever ask for, too! ) and I long to be small and in her embrace. Your babies will soon be in your arms. As you wait, rest in Him, be small in His arms. Know that your babies have the ULTIMATE Daddy in heaven. He won't disappoint.

My heart leaps for joy when I see you spreading the love of Jesus.
Your sister and friend in Christ,
Christina

Christina said...

Kandee,

I know. I really, really know.

My Mom is in the same position as you are. Just remember the Lord is our strength and our defense. It's hard (SO hard!) to let go and give it up to God. But that is when the best things in our life happen. I am so thankful for my Mom's sweet prayers for me while I am at my Dad's. Right now I am at my Dad's, thousands of miles away from my Mom ( the best friend I could ever ask for, too! ) and I long to be small and in her embrace. Your babies will soon be in your arms. As you wait, rest in Him, be small in His arms. Know that your babies have the ULTIMATE Daddy in heaven. He won't disappoint.

My heart leaps for joy when I see you spreading the love of Jesus.
Your sister and friend in Christ,
Christina

Amena said...

Kandee, you have inspired me so much, yeah im really young... going to middle school soon... but i look up to you i hope to be just like you: strong, independent , loving and kind but i hope to become a makeup artist or a designer.grade 7's gonna be a hard year,i hope to be strong like you and i think i noe how your kids feel, my parents are fighting alot and might get a divorce. Thank You for inspiring me and thousands no make that millions of people.We all love you!
Lotz of lovez,
a an inspired ,future designer or make up artist ,
Amy <3

A. said...

You are such a sweet, inspiring soul. Never let anyone or anything get you down. <3

Jen said...

Kandee!! You're officially one of my favorite people! You are truly one of the rare individuals that God has given this world to bring love, happiness, light & energy. Your precious children are truly blessed to have you as their mom! Your heart is stunning & your spirit inspires me, not only to be a better makeup artist, but a better person who encourages & loves others & does everything possible to make this world a more lovely place.

You're a beautiful picture of strength & perseverance, & this post truly touched my heart! I can totally identify with so much of what you said, & you're honesty & transparency is refreshing.

I truly can't thank you enough for your posts, videos, & the investment you make into all of us who subscribe to your channel, follow your blog, or get to interact with you in daily life.

You are truly a gift & I'm so excited to meet you at your Glaminar in Atlanta!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of hugs & prayers,
Jen xoxo

Samantha Costa said...

I loved these words and i am so affected..
I feel bad for this to happen to you, I see that they are the most important thing for you.
Stay strong, as you seem be. It'll be all right!
I'm from Brazil, I know some English, so it's terrible, but could not stop commenting. That touches me!
I love it and work your way!

you is great, you shine!
kisses

joannamarie said...

its been along time since a strangers words have touched my heart enough to remember God...x

Melissa Blight said...

Kandee this actually made me cry. You're such a sweet person and amazing human being. I've always been excited to be a momma and you've just reaffirmed those feelings in me.
HUGE HUGE love Kandee!!! <33

madwomen said...

"and if you don't have a mama to adore you and tell you you're loved....I'll be her...."I love you precious eyes that are reading this, you are adored and cherished...go and have an amazing day today...and don't you dare let anyone ruin it! You're too loved!"

you really make me cry... my mom died when i was six years old...and... i don't know... just hope that my boyfriend doesn't come home that second when i'm sitting here with tears on my cheaks

VAL said...

so sweet!

Amy Davis said...

Kandee your children are beautiful just like you. You are so lucky! I stumble on one of you videos look for how to distress jeans for my daughter and I. I have loved learning about you and your amazing story. I was married at 16 and had my daughter at 17. She is a miracle from god sent to give me every reason to live. After 3 years of difficult time my husband and I were able to love each other again and had 3 more kids. We just celebrated our 11 year anniversary. And it just goes to show that God has a plan for us. We can never predict what’s coming but just learn from what is given to us. Thank you for your inspiration you have spread everywhere. I am telling everyone to watch you. You’re amazing.

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