Monday, July 9, 2012

On this day, many years ago....I was born.

and I looked really little in my dad's big hands....
this birthday doesn't feel very fun...(yet, anyway)
It will be the first birthday without my dad here on Earth.
It hasn't even been a month.
And I miss him so much.
I missed not waking up to his usual birthday message singing his "birthday song"
(not the average Happy Birthday, because my dad never did anything "average"...ha ha)
But my sister did call and sing it to me in a message, and it made me happy.
(my mama, holding me, after I was brought home from the hospital)
I am so thankful to my beautiful mama, who was pregnant with me and then had to go through all the hard work of labor to get me here! You have a whole new appreciation for your mom once you've had to go through labor! ha ha ha
I always want to buy my mom a present on my birthday, because she had to go through all the pain on this day, years ago! I love you mama, more than words can say!  I have been so blessed to have you as my mama. The most amazing mama, that continues to teach me and inspire me every day!
And my mom, told me she has made me the best Mud Pie Ice Cream Cake from scratch- I can't wait to try it! She is the most amazing mama! God truly blessed me when he let me have the parents I have!
This was my first birthday...
me, the little 1 year old in the picture (ha ha) and my dad.

And my very first birthday cake!
Me and my mom laughed as we looked through my baby book yesterday, and read that it was a "Mud Pie" ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins 31 Flavors- Mud Pie has been one of my favorite desserts my whole life! ha ha ha
 Me in my dad's arms...
I miss him so much it truly hurts my heart. It seems hard to have a birthday, less than a month after news that your dad has moved onto heaven already. It's hard to feel really happy. But I know my dad would want me to have fun. My dad always made everything fun! So, for my dad in heaven, I will try to have fun dad- because I know you want me to. I know God will let my dad's love shine down on me today...and for that I want to be happy.

Just one of the great perks of heaven- you don't have to worry about aging up there! ha ha ha

 Makes me start singing that Rod Stewart song, "Forever Young"! ha ha ha
 I'm thankful God has blessed me to be alive another year. I pray that I can inspire and encourage others this year, and help bring comfort to hurting hearts, that would be the greatest give I could, not get, but that I could give.
I don't care about what I get...I care about what I can give.

Happiest of birthdays to everyone who's birthday is today too! I send everyone big hugs, birthday or not...and if I had a big party we could all eat cake together!

huge love and can't wait to eat the cake my mama made me, kandee with a virtual birthday hat on...
and hooray for not needing to count "years old" in heaven!

Click here if you wann see my Kandeeland bloggy

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Kandee! <3
you look so much like your mom, both beautiful!

Anonymous said...

All the angels in heaven are celebrating with ur father right now..

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Kandee.
God Bless You always!

Smart_Curves said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said...

Happiest Birthday! May you have a blessed day.

jamie sherman said...

Happy birthday kandee. Mine was just 6 days ago (:

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Kandee! You have SO many friends you've never even met! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your artistry, your generous spirit, your love for the world and everyone in it. I am continuously inspired by your blogs and videos- especially the ones that have nothing to do with makeup and everything to do with helping and coaching those whose hearts are hurting. You've brought me to tears many times, including right now. The first year is the hardest, my friend. Holidays, milestones, exciting news... you instinctively reach for the phone to call him, but then you realize you can't ... and the pain starts all over again. I would love to give youa great big bear hug today. I can tell you that the pain doesn't exactly go away. You just make room for it. It will get easier to live. All it takes is time. I love you, Kandee. I hope today is better than yesterday.

Your devoted (un-met) friend,
Holly in KC MO

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I thought that was you in that photo! You look just like your momma

Erica Louise said...

Happy birthday Kandee, you look so much like your beautiful mama x

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Kandee!!!

Stacie said...

Happy birthday kandee! I hope you have a great day xxx

Anonymous said...

Kandee!! You made me cry! That was truly touching and I want to wish you all of the best for you'd birthday and god bless you and your family!! And I knows that your father will be looking down at you and wishing you a happy birthday and singing thd happy birthday song for you!! Luv u !!
Luv from a very big fan, XOXO <3

MissJess said...

Happy Happy Birthday. May your day be filled with happiness, hope, blessings and smiles!! I'm sure that's one the your dad would want for you!! You are truly an inspiration and may god bless you with many more awesome and amazing years!! Xoxoxo

Georgia.b. said...

Happy birthday girl your an amazing person just thought you should know!!hope all your birthday wishes come true.....

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to the sweetest person ever!!

Anonymous said...

You look just like your mom! Happy birthday! I hope unicorns fart rainbows all over your day!

tiffany said...

Happy Birthday Kandee! I hope it was a great day and I will continue to pray for your family. I hope you think of how happy and excited your dad is for you and all you've done!! He is celebrating in heaven :)

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday kandee!! hope ur birthday brings u a lil bit of joy to u.. do count urself lucky, my friend's dad passed away the day just before her birthday n its was soo sad to see that every year after that, she's all sad to celebrate her birthday coz it reminds her of her beloved dad. Things happened for a reason, n HE have chosen u coz HE knows that u r a strong one. Well wishes to u n ur lovely family :))

Jennifer LoveMarque said...

Dear Kandee, I wish u all the best today and everyday, always and forever♡

LoVeLiFe2983 said...

Happy birthday!! :)

Selina said...

Happy birthday Kandee! You bring so much happiness to everyone else so I hope you had a little today too. I lost my dad last year so I know how hard it is to miss someone. But I'm sure he's very proud of you :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Kandee!!! I hope you have lots of joy on your special day because you deserve it after what recently happened! Im sure you dad is smiling down at you and sending you all his wishes :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Kandee!! You share your birthday with my baby girl who turned 16 today. :) I understand your pain of missing your dad and knowing no words can change that. It has been almost 9 yrs since my mom has passed and it's still hard for me, but even more so for our children who will not have that time to know and love there grandparents. God bless you and your family. Hugs

Anonymous said...

Hi there Kandee! Just wanna wish u thebest birthday ! You have really inspired me with your writings and you always cheer me up. I always look forward to reading your entries and they always inspire me to be positive. thank you Kandee..

Anonymous said...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY KANDEE!!!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY:) HUGS TO THE MOON AND BACK!!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday kandee!:)

Anonymous said...

happy k-day!!! (k for kandee-day) ;-)

elise tate said...

How cute your dad was... I'm so sorry. We all feel like we know you so we feel for you. Can't even imagine how hard it must be. Hang in there and we all wish you a good year despite your huge loss. XO

Yannet Marin said...

I love you kandee happy bday!! I may not know your pain but I have a father whom I am very close too (im a daddys girl). I feel for your loss but hes much better place now!. XOXOO

channy dee said...

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY! I love you kandee and I look up to you so much because no matter what you always stay positive and it makes me have a better day. I pray that your pain eases with time... I can't imagine what ur going through because my dad almost pasted away when he had his stroke but just know that were all here for you and that ur dad is watching over you... btw ur lemon trick is amazing! Have a great day Kandee!!! We love you!

Kaitlyn A. said...

Happy birthday Kandee I love you!! Everyday when I feel sad, then I read your blog and I feel ALOT better! You inspire me in a different way everyday!! and I am extremely sorry for your loss and I know how it feels to lose someone you love! When I was 11 years old my grandpa (who I was very close with) died. It wasn't as sudden as your loss, he had a stroke 5 years earlier and had many health problems. Your are an amazing person Kandee and you bring joy to my heart everyday!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy birth day kandee from my family to yours hope u have a awesome birthday and keep making videos I love them

Yours truly hanna

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